It Hardly Bears Retreating

 

Once upon a recent time, at the edge of a fine stand of Douglas Firs, but out in the brushy open lands, Thaga, a virtuous Neanderthal matron, calmly ventures out to gather some blackberries to carry home to make a pie for You Know Oooog! She carries a purpose made slat basket.

        Oh, but Maeve is watching.  She thinks there may be fun to be had!           

But way out ahead of Thaga, a great blond bear is working the berry bushes. It seems to have a plastic grocery bag snagged on a forepaw….

 

Thaga considers.  “Ramona, is that you?”

Ramona stands, an impressive sight. “What are you doing out here?” Her full body mop of blond ringlets shining in the PNW sunshine. Her big brown eyes snap out a message of irritation!

“Trying to get some berries before you eat them all, like a bear, Ramona!” remarked Thaga, in a rather defensive voice.

Maeve executes some acrobatics, flying around their heads figure eight style crying out “,…*/chuga….zomp,” or whatever Ravens say when trying to be provocative.

Says Ramona, “is this your stupid bird?”

“Nah, I thought she was yours. You’re the woodland creature around here” says Thaga, swatting around her head and swinging her basket too.

“So, how’s Ralph these days,” says Thaga.

Ramona sits on a log, crosses her legs, all ladylike and says, “he spends all his time sneaking up on the hairless wonders and taking photos of them.  Then he brings it home and laughs his big hollow head off at them!

“He always has enjoyed scaring them, but this…  Hey, you know, he has to power the thing up by plugging it into houses.  One of these days some farmer is going to think he is a commie and shoot him!” Ramona eats a couple of berries disconsolately.

“Don’t you know how to, um, distract him?  Keep him otherwise occupied?  You could try making pies!” says Thaga brightly and slyly, but not very helpfully. 

Maeve settles down on a branch over their heads. “That was cute Thaga. Yeah, yeah, I know your names. You talk so much that I learned from all your yakking.

“I am Maeve. I know everything. Ask anybody.”

“Oh, never mind the talking jackdaw or whatever it is.  Did you ever try making pie in a leanto shelter made by a mancritter?  Of course not. ‘Oooog make chimney, Oooog make fireplace….oooolala!  Lookit Oooog go!’  He defies the forces of entropy! Ooog has skills!” This from Ramona.

“Don’t you talk about Ooog, you…you blond!  Ooog is a philosopher, not some retrograde shapeshifting portal surfing mugwump like Ralph!” hollers Thaga in a fit of pique!

“Oh, calm down honey.  You never could take a little homespun ribbing could ya? Ralph doesn’t even like berries much.  You can have them.  Feed them to Ooog in a big fat pie!  I’m going home now. Prolly gnaw on a rabbit.

“It’s a very good thing Ralph can’t print his photos out. We have that going for us,” says Ramona, standing and stretching. “I’m tired!”

“Thanks Ramona, you’re alright!  Remember I said that now! I think I’ll head home too. It’s getting late for fooling around in the woods.  We might run into something dangerous!” giggles Thaga.

“What could scare us, Thaga?” sniggers Ramona. A T Rex?”

They share a sororal hug, and part friends as always.  Are you surprised?

          Maeve swoops down over their heads.  She bids them, and you, adieu! Or as she says, "a doodoo!"

Rude old baggage that she is!

          

The sort of land where this sort of meeting could very well happen, where clear cut land is growing ground cover and bushes.  One of the main ground cover species is the Dew Berry. The landscapes of my own childhood were in the process of recovery from logging.  This photo was made on the Olympic Peninsula.