Ramona's Big Flat Pan

 

 

            Ranger Rick, that affable fellow, had an idea. The more he thought about it, the better he liked it. He had the handwritten notes Ev had written for him, the recipe so to speak for the huge Timber Topper pizza like Tony made it at Lou’s place.
            Now, he had never been physically present in the Home Clearing, but he and Ralph had discussed all aspects. He was clear on the fire circle, the grid Ramona used to support her big flat pan, and all her various cooking adventures.
            Where did the big pan come from you wonder? It’s a good question. Perhaps I can suggest a provenance. Originally, it came from the galley of a Navy vessel. In the fullness of time this vessel had been decommissioned, and its accoutrements had been released into the wild as salvage.
            Some guy bought it for his wife, but it wouldn’t fit in their oven, so the wife sold it at a garage sale in Milltown. Ooog happened upon this garage sale. He bought it by bartering a sack of new potatoes and brought it home to Thaga. She said he should give it to Ramona who cooks for a crew unlike themselves. So he did. That’s how Ramona got the big flat pan, which measured a good 24X36 inches!
            You can see what he was thinking.
            Rick drove home determining to contact Ralph somehow and propose a cookout at the Home Clearing. Most of the time when he and Ralph chatted, Ralph had just appeared. But he didn’t want to wait for that to happen. He also knew he couldn’t just walk out into the forest and find him. He was fully aware of the special nature of reality out there.
            He remembered that one time when he had been sure that Twigg was committing mischief in the area and he had honked his horn until Ralph came to talk with him about it. He decided to try that again.
            The next morning Rick parked out by the dumpster and started doing a friendly little beep sequence on his horn. He kept it up long enough that it couldn’t be an accident. Finally Maeve appeared, took a long beady eyed look at him and flew off into the forest.
            In about fifteen minutes Ralph strolled up the path and into the station parking lot to see what was up with Rick.
            Rick explained what he was thinking and Ralph thought it sounded like jolly fun. Between the two of them, they settled on midday the next day. Ralph would meet Rick at the station and bring him into the Home Clearing.
            In the morning Rick went to Safeway, scene of his terrible taste in coffee purchases, and bought supplies. He decided to use premade bread dough for simplicity’s sake. He bought four balls of that. And:
            A big can of Italian tomato sauce.
            A small bottle of virgin olive oil
            A bulb of garlic and a bottle of mediterranean herbs
            Five pounds of mozzarella
            Two pounds of Canadian bacon
            A big sweet onion, three green peppers, and a few tomatoes
            Two pounds of mushrooms
            Two bottles of pitted Greek olives
 
            He figured that ought to do it. It would make a monster pizza.
            Morning turned into midday. Rick was ready with all of that in a couple of grocery sacks.             Ralph appeared, bigger than life actually, and together they entered the forest, using the same path as Mitch and Robby had but arriving at a totally different destination, Ralph’s Home Clearing where the whole family waited to meet them.
            Rick had met Twigg when he was a little younger, but he had never seen Ramona, or Cherry or Bob or Berry or Blue.
            “Rick,” said Ramona, “I’ve heard so much about you! Isn’t that what they always say? Good to meet you at last! Come and meet everyone!”
            Rick was slightly agog upon meeting her, but he managed to be cool and greet Twigg and Cherry. He patted Blue on her head, and the cats allowed him to pat them also.
            Everyone was excited to see this new dish as it came into being!
            Therefore, Rick, assisting Ramona began to assemble the great pizza. First they oiled the big flat pan lightly. Then they spread the dough evenly over it, all joined so there were no leaky spots. Then Ramona set it aside to rise.
            They sliced the various vegetables and chopped the whole head of garlic.
            Then it was time to build the D.I.Y. Timber Topper!
            Going roughly by Ev’s written directions, Rick spread the tomato sauce over the surface. He had thought to bring a can opening. Ten points for Rick!
            Then the oil and a good sprinkle of the herbs went on. Then the Canadian bacon under everything else. A layer of cheese slices was next. Then the vegetables were arranged nicely. Next Rick scattered the olives over the vegetables. Last of all was another layer of cheese slices. They had salted and peppered the vegetable layer.
            It was a big job! And now it was time to cook it. Of course it wouldn’t be browned on top, but that wouldn’t be a problem.
            Ramona placed a judicious number of small sticks of firewood in the fire under the grid and when the flames had died down to coals, she and Rick carefully places the very large flat pan on the grid. Then they watched it as it cooked. They didn’t want it to cook too fast and not get done through the middle, so it took watching and care.
            The dough puffed up and began to be bread crust, the cheese melted, and the vegetables began to look cooked and the whole thing kind of settled and became cohesive in a nice way. It smelled wonderful Ramona said, and it did!
            Between the two of them, Rick and Ramona decided that it was done.
            The fire had died down, but the pan was still very hot. Ralph did the honors of using some old cloth as pot holders and moved the great heavy thing to Ramona’s little stump table.
            While they waited for it to cool for a bit, Cherry demonstrated her special ability, which had wowed Mitch and Robby so much. Rick was also impressed, to put it mildly.
            Twigg sang a song that the B’s had taught him about hanging in there and staying busy.
            Bob and Berry sat by with secret cat smiles and shining eyes.
            Blue had to be told a few times to cool it, she was still at an awful age in canids.
            Maeve hung around, keeping an eye on the proceedings and interjecting wise sayings in Raven. She spent most of the time on Ralph’s shoulder.
            At last it was time to serve it up, so Ramona sliced the Timber Topper into a variety of sizes of pieces. She got out those shallow wooden bowls and gave everyone a first slice.
            It went over grandly and was considered a great success and every bit of it was eaten, believe it or not!
            “Rick,” said Ramona, “what a lovely idea you had. It was so sweet of you to think of us and share this new dish with us! You must come again and eat with us. Thank you!”
            “It was a ton of fun, Ramona,” said Rick. “You’re absolutely welcome. Meeting you all was like a dream! A very good dream,” he added.
            “I’ll make some coffee, Rick. Don’t take off yet,” said Ramona.
            Rick stayed for coffee, then Ralph walked him to the parking lot by the ranger station.
            “Goodnight,” said Ralph.
            “Goodnight,” said Rick.
            They were both stuffed and felt very sleepy!

🌲🧄🌲