Maybe there’s some kind of reversal
thing going on here. Maybe, just maybe, if a person, speaking loosely, of
course, is above a certain height, Ralph’s strictures on admission to the Great
Forest are of null effect.
Something must explain what happened
that day.
Myron. Big Myron. That’s who I’m
talking about, in this circuitous fashion. He was big, he was ugly, which of
course is a matter of opinion. However, there is no record of anyone, not even
his mommy, saying he was pretty.
I suppose I should give some
statistics. He was a good 14 feet from stem to stern. His eyes were green, his
hair would have been red, had it been clean. His complexion was greyish pink. He
looked like a, very large case, of poor oxygen perfusion in the tissues. I
suspect that his breath was foul.
He was born outside of Darrington,
WA. In a cave.
He fee fi fo fummed his stupendous
way right into the smaller rougher meadow where Uncle Bob, Aunt Suzy, and now Jim,
abode. Myron was a singer, and played a mean, very large banjo.
Hence, when he arrived in the snowy
meadow, he found a nice place to sit on a fallen log and began to pluck his
banjo. His feet were two feet deep in snow. Didn’t care.
When who should appear but Jim,
fresh from hanging around, eating cold grass, and being nice.
Jim looked up at Myron sitting
there, and said, “Who the heck are you?”
“Behold, I am Myron,” said Myron,
taking a break.
“You have a very big head,” said
Jim. “Much admire!”
“You have a very large head too,”
said Myron, and thereby their friendship was sealed.
“By the way, what’s to eat around
here, Jim?” said Myron.
“Well, I eat grass. Are you, by
chance, a vegetarian?” said Jim. He could see some bad potential here if the
friendship didn’t develop right.
“Nah. I’m lookin’ to eat some kinda
flesh,” said Myron. “That’s what that fee fi fo fum thing is about.”
Myron began plucking the strings
again in the chilly morning air.
Jim thought this was a good time to
sing along.
I run like thunder,
Like mama said,
I am Jim,
With a big hard head!
“That’s not too bad,” said Myron. “Have
you considered forming a band?”
“Me n Bob would like to, but we
needed a musician. He’s a song writer. But you need at at least one musician to
have a band, doncha?” said Jim, with furrowed bison brows.
“Where is this Bob, song writer?”
said Myron.
“Walk this way,” said Jim.
“I can’t really, I only have two
feet,” said Myron. “But I can follow you. Are we going to see Bob?”
“He lives in a house made in a stump
with Suzy,” said Jim. “There was a musician. I never met him. Harmonica. Blues guy.
But he’s off on a honeymoon or something.”
“You amaze me,” countered Myron. “Was
his name Maurice?”
“Something like that, yeah. Liked
Cream, I hear.”
So, Jim followed his own trail through
the disturbed snow back toward the Stump House, and Myron stumped along behind
him playing a tune suspiciously similar to Washington Square. It didn’t take
long. Soon they could see smoke rising from the area outside, but near, the big
stump. Upon closer inspection, since he was so far up in elevation, Myron saw
Suzy doing something over the fire.
“I see somebody over there. Like a
woman, all hairy,” said Myron.
“Suzy. Bob’s Firestarter, I mean Keeper.
She makes burned food for him.”
“That’s called cooking,” said Myron.
“I like her already. Fee fi fo fum time!!”
“Meh. I like grass. Mama said to eat
grass, so I do.”
When Suzy caught sight of Myron
following Jim, she started yelling, “Bob, come out here! I need you!”
Bob stumbled out of the Stump House.
He took in the scene quickly.
“Oh, hi Jim. Who’s your friend?” he
said. He was looking at the big banjo Myron carried.
“Myron, a literal giant. He’s hungry
and he’s a musician. Can we keep him? We need a musician for the band!”
“Hi, Myron. I guess we better
audition you. But first, do you want to be in a band?”
“I do. And I am hungry,” said Myron.
He began to rapidly pluck the strings playing one of his own compositions.
“I like it,” said Bob. “Maybe we can
do business.”
Suzy had a cold left-over haunch of
young buck, so with that for Myron, and a few of the fish she was just baking over the
fire, everyone got some breakfast.
“What shall we call the band?” said
Bob, after breakfast.
“How about The Big Head Revue,” said
Jim, sticking to his main point always.
“What about Bob Jim & Myron?”
said Myron.
“Let’s think on it for a couple of
days,” said Bob. “OK?”
“Is there a handy cave around here
somewhere,” said Myron. “I like to sleep in caves.”
❄️πΉ❄️