
It was raining in the foothills of
the Cascade Range. The further he hiked up the trail the heavier the rain came
down. He thought that maybe if he kept going he would emerge above the
rainstorm. But it was not to be.
It was windy too. Bursts of wind
blew rain in his face. Water ran down to the tips of fir branches, dumping it
right in the middle of the trail. It was getting cold, and what passed for
daylight in these conditions was rapidly fading.
This whole exercise began to feel
extremely foolhardy. He began working on plan B, or plan C. Plan B involved
finding a nice place to shelter. Plan C amounted to finding any kind of
shelter. Both plans finisheded with hiking back down the trail and going home in
the morning.
He didn’t carry a tent. It wasn’t
that kind of hike. He carried water, which seemed ironic at this point, and
four Fuji apples, a jar of natural peanut butter, and crackers. He had two big
bars of dark chocolate too. That was it, besides a flashlight, and a large
folding knife. He had his phone of course. Oh, and a lighter.
Joe was near the Great Forest, but
not actually within its confines. Its location is a little hard to pin down anyhow. He continued walking uphill.
Water ran eagerly down the trail, heading ultimately for Puget Sound. It had a
long way to go, and it wanted to get started, evidently. His socks inside his
boots were getting wet. His jacket was soaked, his wool beanie did its best,
but it was wet too.
In the last bit of gray daylight,
Joe saw something promising off to his right, somewhat below the trail. It
appeared to be a manmade structure of some kind. He saw ragged tarpaper
covering what appeared to be walls, and maybe a roof. It had to be a cabin left
to rot away in the forest.
“Well, shelter is shelter,” thought
Joe. He turned off the trail, walking carefully over the thick layer of forest
duff and leaves, hoping not slide to the cabin on his butt. He made it without
falling.
It didn’t look like much. The roof seemed intact. A rusty stovepipe poked crookedly out of the roof. The tarpaper
curled in shreds. “When did they even do that?” thought Joe. The single window
was mostly broken out. The door hung open. There was a large granite boulder on
each side of the single step.
Joe didn’t see the very large Raven
sitting in one of the firs, with rain running down her feathers, watching him.
Her black eyes blinked, and then she rose into the stormy wind and rain.
He stepped inside, hoping that the
floor wouldn’t collapse under his feet. If it had he might have fallen all of a
foot, but it held.
Looking around inside, Joe saw two
wooden chairs, one intact, one having only three legs. There was a very rusty
stove attached to that stovepipe. The door to the stove was missing. Joe
laughed. “How does that happen?" But maybe he could make a fire and wait
out the storm. He might even be able to dry his socks!
He couldn’t hope to start a fire
with anything outside, so with his knife, he began shaving some bits off of mostly
dry broken chair. Using his lighter and a crumpled paper towel from his pocket
he got a small fire going. When it looked pretty steady, he broke up the rest
of the chair up and added it to the fire.
He knew he was going to have to go
outside and find a big branch or something. The chair fire wouldn’t last very
long.
Leaving his pack inside the cabin,
he took his flashlight out to look for fuel. There is always deadfall in a forest,
so he was successful in bringing in two large dead branches. He was able to break
the smaller ends of the branches into pieces. He had no way to cut the heavier
ends. He thought maybe when the time came he would just stick the ends in the
fire and inch them forward as they burned. It would be smokey, he knew that.
So, the storm blew, the rain fells,
and Joe, sitting in the one chair, barefoot, with his socks arranged on his
backpack before the fire and steaming, got very drowsy. Then he remembered he
had food and water. He drank some water, ate a chocolate bar, and basically went
to sleep sitting upright.
An hour later, something woke him.
After the shock of seeing where he was wore off, he noticed a horrible smell.
It had not been there before. This was new. It smelled like rotten blood, and
dog, along with a strong hormonal pong.
“What the hell?” said Joe.
“Hell, indeed,” said the dark figure
crouched further into the cabin, maybe where a bed had once stood. The stench seemed
to be stronger in that direction.
“You’re kidding me,” said Joe, with
a very sick feeling in his stomach. “You don’t exist.”
“Wanna try me and see?” said the
dark smelly thing. Its eyes glowed a dull yellow over there in the dark, and it
snickered.
“I was here first,” said Joe. “Why
don’t you pack up and leave?”
“I’m here to eat your liver, stupid,
and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“My liver? Are you nuts? Do you know
you stink?” said Joe, putting his socks and boots back on, just in case he got
a chance to make a break for it.
Several things happened in quick succession.
The shaggy dog raised itself to its full height, heading for the man in the
chair.
The man in the chair grabbed his
pack and sprinted back out into the rain.
The burning ends of the big branches
fell out of the stove, still burning.
The talking canine nightmare stepped
on the burning branch and commenced screaming.
Joe ran one way, and the injured
dogthing ran the other, further downhill, howling like a jilted Banshee the
whole way.
When Joe got back up to the path, someone
was already there.
“The Raven said you needed help,” he
said. “But you seem to have done alright on your own.”
“Did I?” said Joe. “I hadn’t gotten
that far yet. Who are you? Are you real too? Or have I entirely lost my mind,”
said Joe.
“I’m as real as this mountain. People
call me Ralph, I’m sort of in charge around here, more or less, depending,”
said Ralph, with rain sheeting off of his deep brown hair and dripping off of
his nose and beard.
“I don’t like those darn dogs,” said
Ralph. “He’s darn lucky he ran off so quickly.”
Behind them, downhill, the cabin
burst into flame, totally involved. It lit up the whole area, so that Joe could
finally see Ralph, all nine feet tall of Ralph.
Joe laughed a little hysterically,
but hung in there OK. “Hey! You are real! I heard you guys really like apples.
I happen to have some. Could I offer you an apple, Sir?”
“Why, yes! I would like an apple,
say what’s your name?” said Ralph.
“Joe. Humans call me Joe,” said Joe,
a little breathlessly, pulling the apples out of his bag and handing them up
the Ralph’s enormous hand. “How about some peanut butter?”
“Sure, I’ll take your peanut butter,”
said Ralph.
“I guess I’ll head on downhill,
Ralph,” said Joe.
“Nice to meet you,” said Ralph.
“You too, Brother,” said Joe.
As Joe headed on down the trail,
Ralph couldn’t help but notice that Joe had a long tail hanging out of his
jacket, and pointy ears popping out of his beanie.
“Well, I’ll be! I’ve never seen one
of those,” said Ralph. “I can’t wait to tell Ramona!”
Subsequent to all of that, though it didn’t happen instantly, the cabin burnt to the ground, leaving only the two boulders and the rusty doorless stove to prove that anyone had ever been there.
🌲🧝🏼♂️🌲