Expurration™ PNW

 

On location. Never mind the girl.

            “Ding, ding! Suzy, wake up,” said Toots one night at about 2AM from her station by the window. “Are you receiving this? I can see you there!”
            “I don’t know how you’re doing that. I can’t see you!” said Suzy, who was in fact, sleeping on the back of the recliner.
            “I don’t understand it either,” said Toots. “Hey, have you ever heard of a planet with rings around it? I think it’s called Caturn? What say we take another trip to space, Suzy? Any planet called Caturn has got to be a good one. Maybe there are giant gaseous cats there who will welcome us with big cloudy paws!”
            “That’s a strange thing to contemplate when just waking up. And after that crab thing on Mrrrz, I’m not feeling very brave,” said Suzy. “In fact, you have just activated my Caution! That planet is huge! It would have terrible gravity. Think about what could live there! They might be big flat things that ooze around the surface down in the gassy atmosphere!”
            “Doesn’t matter! Remember, we won’t actually be there with our tails and whiskers, only our mind’s eyes will be there looking at stuff. I don’t think they could see us unless we had our fur and whiskers with us!” insisted Toots.
            “Oh, yeah, I remember,” said Suzy.
            “Well…Sister Dear, wanna go?” said Toots.
            “I think I’d rather go camping,” said Suzy, finally.
            “What? Where?” said Toots. “I’ve been Outside, but I never went camping!”
            “I was thinking I’d like to visit the Index River. Of course we wouldn’t really be camping for the same reasons that we’d be safe on Caturn. Mind’s eyes don’t need camping equipment. All that stuff is for fur and whiskers. Think about it, Toots! We could just go up into the forest by the river and Check It Out!” purred Suzy.
            “I suppose when is the next question,” said Toots.
            “How about right now!” said Suzy.
            “It’s dark! It might be scary!” said Toots with her eyes aflame and wide.
            “It’ll be OK, Toots. We’ll just cruise up the river, higher and higher into the mountains for a while, then come home. OK? The river will be easy to follow. I’ve seen video,” said Suzy.
            “Well, alright. Let’s do it,” said Toots, very bravely.
            So, the two brave little cats put their noses down by their front paws and concentrated. Suzy knew about the river, so she brought Toots along with her. Soon, they were above a busy shining smallish river rushing rapidly downhill. Dark forest loomed on both sides. The sky was cloudy but had that pearlescent glow that cloudy skies have at night, so it wasn’t really all that dark, especially not to cats, who see quite well in the dark.
            “What do you think,” said Suzy to her friend.
            “It’s not like the creek at home. It’s going a lot faster,” said Toots. “And I’m not used to all these big dark tall trees!”
            “Let’s go up river,” said Suzy, turning her gaze up hill.
            So the two little expurrers bravely cruised up the busy river in the dark. It was going fine and they were getting a good sense of Mt. Index too, a rather obscure mountain in the area.
            Around a slight bend in the river they came upon a wide pebbly beach. There seemed to be a group, or family of large persons wading into the water, going under the surface and catching fish. Then they would wade out of the river again and share the fish with smaller members of the group. This went on the whole time Toots and Suzy watched.
            “Those aren’t people are they, Suzy?” said Toots. “They look an awful lot like those big guys I see on the highway sometimes at home!”
            “Let’s sneak down and listen,” said Suzy. “I want to get a better look.”
            “Yeah, OK. They can’t see us anyhow,” said Toots.
            But when the little points of vision came to hover near a large motherly person with a toddler on her knee, they got a big surprise.
            “It’s too bad that you girls can’t share some fish with us,” the mother said. “I know you’re there. One of you is a long way from home.”     
            “How did you know?” Toots and Suzy said at the same time.
            “It has something to do with wavelengths. I don’t explain. I just do. I’m no physicist!” said the mother. “Why did you come out here?”
            “I wanted to show my friend the river and the forest,” said Suzy.
            “Well, I think that’s really nice, and it was good to meet you girls,” said the mother. But she was fading a little, and so were the others, and the river and the forest.
            “I think you’ll find yourselves safe at home very soon,” was the last thing she said to them. She smiled a big friendly smile. There were crinkles at the corners of her brown eyes, and the wind running with the river tossed her long brown hair a bit. She winked!
            Suzy sat up and looked all around herself. She was on the back of the recliner, just the same as usual.
            “Toots,” she sent, “Did that happen?”
            “I believe it did,” said Toots, once again gazing out of the window as the sky just started to lighten in the east.

😹🌞😸

A Disturbance Before Sunrise

 

            One morning that summer something woke Ralph before sunrise. Lying in the dark, he could hear Ramona breathing beside himself, plus the slight sounds of Cherry and the Puma bros and Blue sleeping quietly. So, he knew it wasn’t a sound that woke him.
            It wasn’t Maeve either. It was something else. Maeve was probably still asleep up in the rocks on the mountain side.
            In fact, it wasn’t a sound at all. It was something else. More like a tickle, or an itch, but it was in his thoughts, not really even in his head. It was really weird, and new. This had not happened to him before. It was impossible to sleep with this going on. So, before he disturbed Ramona with his awakened state, he got out of the big quilt, put his feet on the floor, and decided to go outside into the still dark morning and try to figure out what was happening to him.
            Ralph isn’t a worrier, but he does take care of business in a timely manner.
            Without making a sound he slipped out of the green door, shut it carefully behind himself, and came out sniffing the air carefully. He could smell the coals of Ramona’s fire, but that was all. This wasn’t really a smell thing, but he had to check.
            He sat beside the still visible winks of firelight in the coals, studying them and trying to place the disturbance he was feeling. The more he thought about it, the less he liked it.
            A chill little pre-dawn wind blew through the Home Clearing. It got Ralph’s attention because it was so directional. The tossed tips of fir branches, barely visible to us, but visible to Ralph all seemed to point toward the meadow and the Alder Tree House.         
            “Oh!” thought Ralph. His eyes opened wide and his breath quickened. This didn’t seem good at all. The disturbance in his mind was stronger too.
            He stood and went back to the green door, placing his hand on it, and saying, “Keep them!” He knew that it would be so. Then he started walking up toward the meadow which held so much that he loved.
            A dark mind tried to enter his, but he threw it off and kept walking as quickly as he could. Ralph decerned that it was searching for the Star Child, Koba. As he walked, Maeve found him. She flew beside him matching his speed.
            “Boss, something is in the air above us,” she said.
            “You saw it?” he said rapidly.
            “Yes. Very far up,” said Maeve. “It’s not a creature. It’s a machine of some kind.”
            “Koba is in peril,” said Ralph. “But I don’t know how yet.”
            When they hurried out into the open of the still dark meadow the machine was visible in the middle air between the tree tops and the low cloud layer. It was round on top and flat on the bottom. There were some dim orange lights around the outer edge. They barely showed. If you didn’t know it was there you might not have seen it.
            To Ralph it was confusing. It sent mixed messages. It looked like a space vehicle, true, but it didn’t taste like one. The sense of it was of human and danger. It was nothing like Mak’s silver ship.
            “What do you think, Birdy,” whispered Ralph.
            “I think that if they want Koba, then they are evil indeed, Boss,” said Maeve quietly as they stood there watching. Maeve was on his shoulder so he could hear her well. “Only the Maker knows what plans they might have for him, or maybe they only want his death!”
            Knowledge rose up in Ralph’s heart.
            “It shall not be, Madam,” he said to Maeve.
            A mighty song was given to Ralph. He was done whispering and being afraid. He sang it loudly and it rang over the meadow, and indeed over the whole Great Forest. The power of it was peace and hope to any who heard it and knew from the song that Ralph was about.
            The effect was entirely different on the dark ship hovering there over the Alder Tree House. It shuddered, and as the sky began to lighten, its orange lights winked out. Then the darkened ship vanished completely, and the sky was clean again.
            The clouds remaining from the night past drifted away, the sky was pale blue, and the sun became visible far to the east. There was peace as far as Ralph could see.
            “That was quite a song, Boss,” said Maeve. “What was it called?”
            “You are forbidden and destruction is upon you,” said Ralph. “Kind of a long name!”
            “Will you tell Twigg and Leely?” said Maeve.
            “Yeah, some day I will. Maybe not today,” said Ralph. “Let’s not disturb them. Today they are going to go introduce Koba to Enid and Arthur. That’s probably enough excitement for one day, eh, Birdy?”
            “I won’t say it, but you know it, Boss,” said Maeve, indulging in a small chuckle.
            “Let’s go home and tell Mona. She should know and she will be glad Koba is safe,” said Ralph. He faced the rising sun, and it shone off of his deep brown glossy hair, and was reflected in his  happy brown eyes. Then he turned, and with Maeve in her accustomed place, set off for the Home Clearing.
            He was starting to feel a little hungry, and wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee either.

🍃💚🌿

When A Problem Comes Along (Campfire Version)

 

            All Indigenous Folk, Neanderthals, Africans, Asians, and probably Sasquatches know that the best thing for leveling out resetting the old  joie de vivre, is a good roaring campfire.
            I’m not sure about other cryptids. Fire might scare them.
            Isolated groups of beings among their own cohort can absolutely benefit from a campfire, but where it really shines is in bringing all types together around itself. It’s hard to stay mad or misunderstood when all gazing into the leaping mesmerizing flames together.
            Before you knew it all the women will be showing each other how to cook whatzit, and comparing labor stories. (You know this is true. It’s a default.)
            Then the mighty hunters and the artisans will be comparing notes and planning expeditions or building projects. Another default.
            Basically, I just wish we could sit around a fire together. Maybe someday, somehow, we will.

💛

A Tootsday Note From Ralph, Himself

 

Hey, Everybody!
            I just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you. Does that surprise you? It shouldn’t! I keep up to date.
            Special Tootsday greetings to the girl herself. Hey, Toots! Howzit going? I know you’re keeping an eye on things. If anything “Off” shows up, you’ll be the first to know! Then you’ll tell Suzy and the word will go out! Better tell LoneStar Neanderthal first though.
            Let’s see.. I want you guys to know that you have special dispensation to visit the Great Forest. I don’t give out many of these special dispensations! I hope you do come sometime. Just take highway 530 up to where it meets SR20 and hang a right. Park in that wide spot. Maeve will find you. Then she will find me and, yadda yadda! Let’s talk!
            I’m sorry to hear that Fred in Alaska had a bad time with the local Wild Men. It seems to be an armed camp up there. History, I guess. I’m sending my wishes for peace and understanding to everybody up there. It can be better.
            Greetings to the Domestic Predators! Ha ha! Cats. We have a couple of those here too, as you know.
            Ramona sends her love. Cherry is pretty shy, but she does too. She said she wishes you could see how big Blue is getting.
            Uncle Bob is standing here grinning.
 
With All My Best Wishes,
Ralph

💚🍃🌲🍁🌲🌿💚

Portrait made on my birthday!

A Night On Hat Island

 

            My parents and my two sisters were going to Yakima for some kind of Indigenous roundup and pow wow. Since I was 18 years old they gave me the choice of coming along like a kid or staying home. Of course I elected to stay home. I had an idea which I had be formulated for some time. I thought a nice free weekend without family would be just about the time I needed.
            At one time, my peeps, the Snohomish people had a village on Hat Island, a tiny spot of land out in Possession Sound between Everett and Whidbey Island. The village which was washed away by a tidal wave had been on the north end of the island. This was where I wanted to spend a night. I was curious as heck. I wondered if there was anything of them left there. I mean something intangible. Not ghosts, or anything silly. I just wondered if I could feel them after all this time.
            There is a little ferry that goes over there on weekends a few times.
            I gathered my gear on Friday after the family took off. I was loaded. I had a one man nylon tent, hotdogs, instant coffee, energy bars for breakfast, sugar, cup and a roll of paper towels, spare socks, and anything else I could think of that might come in handy. I had a modern flashlight too. I was not armed, unfortunately, but most of us aren’t carrying around here with the law the way it is. I had a good knife for utility purposes. Coat, hat, and high topped sneakers. I may have forgotten to list a few things here.
            Oh, my name is Bob Jones. An almost invisible name. It seems like I should have an Indian name, but my grandparents were long dead before I was born, and nobody was handing out Indian names to kids born in the 2000s.
            Thus prepared and loaded, I boarded the small passenger ferry at the Everett Yacht Club and took the short trip over to the island. Fewer than 30 people live there year round, but Hat Island does get visitors. Heck, I was one!
            It’s a short walk from the ferry dock to the north end of the island. It was still daylight; it’s early summer right now. The weather was warm, but felt like rain was coming. Clouds were starting to cover the sun. Well, that’s fine. We know about rain around here.
            I was pretty tickled that nobody knew where I was. I carry a phone like everybody else, in case of trouble. I didn’t expect trouble. Who does?
            By the time I got to the north end of the island the wind was kicking up. There were some white caps out on the water. I started looking around for a good camping spot. I thought I’d like to be on the sand, but up near the trees for cover from some of the wind and rain. I mean, if the storm that seemed to be coming did come.
            The place I liked was close to the forest but still down on the top of the beach. There were logs scattered around, very big logs. My spot was kind of down in a sandy dip between two of those logs which were high enough to provide some shelter. It just felt right. So, I popped the tent up there. I stuck my backpack just inside the opening, out of sight.
            A fire seemed like the next thing. There was smaller driftwood all over the beach. It was an easy job to haul a bunch of it up by my tent. It was starting to get dark, so I went ahead and made a good hot little fire on the sand. My lighter is one of the things I forgot to list up there at the top of this story. I lit a Camel. (Yeah, I know, Mom.)
            Then, I decided that it was dinner time. Hotdogs are easy. You don’t even need a pan. A stick will do. I ate three in a row and drank a bottle of chocolate milk. Didn’t list that either.
            It got dark and started raining a little. I checked my phone. No messages. I was feeling pretty good. I thought that yes, this would have been a good place for a village back then in those days. I did sort of sense a presence there, in a light way. Of course that could have been my imagination.
            What was not my imagination was a guy I saw down at the edge of the water. He was walking out of the Sound like he had been swimming out there. What the heck? I couldn’t see much about him, except that he was big. Real big, and he was heading straight for my fire. Maybe he wanted to get warm and dry off.
            I watched and waited, not knowing what kind of guy would be swimming out there at night. I thought about saying something, but the wind was loud and I didn’t know what to say.
            When this guy got to about 50 feet away and was approaching the firelight, I could see that he was not a regular guy. Of course, I knew about Sasquatch. You’d have to live in a cave not to know, right? This guy was 7 feet tall, covered in almost black hair, and must have weighed nearly 500 pounds. OK. What next? His move.
            He limped up to my fire and stood there dripping. I saw that he had a wound on his left foot.
            “You’re kidding,” I said reflexively. I think my mouth might have been hanging open.
            He smiled and shook his head. He held up both palms to me and then to the fire. So maybe he did want to warm up.
            Not knowing how to communicate, I just patted a spot on the sand near the fire. He sighed and took a seat. I had never been near such a large person before. Maybe he was hungry.
            “You hungry?” I said, not knowing what else to say.
            He nodded, and smiled again. So I demonstrated how to roast a dog on the fire and put it into a bun. I gave it to him. He took it delicately in between his right thumb and forefinger and ate it in two bites. Then he smiled again.
            I indicated with my hands that he could help himself. He was a fast learner. He roasted three more hotdogs and tucked them carefully into rolls and ate them quickly. So, I gave him my other bottle of chocolate milk, having demonstrated that you drink from the little bottle.
            I bet you thought this was going to be a scary story. Surprise!
            “Do you have a name?” I said after we had been just sitting by the fire for a while.
            He looked amused. Finally, he said, “Big.” I will never know what he thought I had asked him.
            The wind kept blowing, the rain got heavier. I put more wood on the fire once in a while. It was nice to have company, even if we couldn’t talk much. I noticed that the gash on his foot looked deep and painful.
            We were doing fine, but then something weird happened. The tide had come in, so that the water was closer to my campsite. Something was crawling out of the water. It was low and long, like 15 feet long. I pointed it out to Big. He frowned and stared. He jumped to his feet and started screaming. It just about blew me over. He grabbed my arm and pointed to his foot and then pointed down the beach at this slithering thing. I got the point pretty quick.
            Big grabbed a log and headed down the beach. I followed him. What I saw was horrifying. It could only be described as a Sea Monster. It had bulging eyes and vicious teeth, and it was hissing as it headed up the beach.
            Big hit him square on with the section of log he had armed himself with, then he started grabbing rocks and piling those in on the monster. I grabbed all the rocks I could find and threw them too.
            The beast kept hissing and trying to reach Big, but it was too late. Its body was broken.
            The monster died there on the beach while the wind blew white caps up on the waves and the rain beat down.
            Big dragged the dead thing down to the water of the Sound and threw it in. It floated there, barely showing in the dim light of the sky.
            We went back up to the fire. I piled on some more fuel, then we ate the energy bars. Big indicated that he would stay by the fire to sleep. I was beginning to think that I could hear him thinking. I crawled into my tent and went to sleep in my wet clothing.
            In the morning, the sun was shining from over the mountains to the east and Big was gone. I saw no sign of the dead monster out on the Sound. And when the Saturday morning run of the ferry came, I was on it. I sat there among the few other riders, squinting into the light and wondering what any of them would think of my story.
            The only person I told was my younger sister who knew how to keep her trap shut, and would believe me. She did, and she was sorry to have missed it herself.

👾

Toots & Suzy Make An Announcement

 

             In view of the fact that someone around here took Catfurday mostly off, and didn’t write anything, Toots and Suzy decided to create some content of their own! They were pretty excited about this and feeling just like a couple of real Content Creators!
            “Since our successful missions to the Mewn and then Mrrrz, we have decided to make it official,” said Toots.
            “Yes, everybody, Toots and I are here to announce our official, and perhaps startling, decision to make it our mission to explore further. To go where no cats have gone before, we are pretty sure!” said Suzy. “We’re not scared either!”
            “That’s right,” said Toots. “We finally got it through our Purrception™ that nothing can do anything to a Point of Vision. Hence, no fear! Meow!
            “The next thing was to name this thing, you know? Nameless missions are uncool. So we set to work yesterday, while all was quiet. We put our heads together, so to speak,” added Toots.
            “This is what we decided, after long consideration,” said Suzy.
 

Cat Vision Exploring the Mewniverse & Beyond

Or

⭐CVEM&B⭐

 
           
            “Pretty neat-o, huh,” said Toots! “We sure think so, and we hope you will look forward to our next Expurration™ of Space, Inner n’ Outer!”
            “We even have our own theme music picked out. After you listen with that in mind, we are sure it will set the mood nicely!” said Suzy.
 

“Behold!”

“Over and Meowt!”

Toots & Suzy

😻😹

Dreamy Old Ralph & The Unfinished Story

 

  

          When Ralph told Ramona about the strange dream, she was almost outraged, in a quiet way. Ramona is a very curious Firekeeper, and the unknowns in the story ate away at her sense of completion.
            She just looked at him for a while. Then, “How can you have a dream like that? The rest of the story must be there somewhere, Baby! Try to remember!”
            “Really. That’s all there was, Mona! I wish I knew too!” said Ralph. He didn’t mention what he had heard from his toe. He didn’t think it would translate well to Ramona. When he thought about it, he figured that the toe speech must have been a sort of dream too. It must have been. Toes don’t talk. They just get on with their work, which when analyzed, is pretty much what the dream toe told him, sending feedback from ground level.
            “But, Ralph Baby, what did the men expect to find in the box? It must have been some kind of treasure, right? Some woman must have fooled them somehow. But how did that happen?” said Ramona, urgently.
            “Yeah, not only were they angry when they saw the bones, they were terrified, and I’m not sure why? What’s so scary about an ancient box of old dead bones? And whose bones were they,” said Ralph. “I wonder if that small of a box must have held very small bones.”
            “Brrr!,” said Ramona. “See, there’s a story there, hiding.”
            “We don’t even know if it really happened, Mona. It might just be a crazy dream,” protested Ralph.
            Maeve had been listening carefully from her usual perch on Ralph’s left shoulder. She looked from person to person, thoughtfully.
            “I’ve heard a story like that,” she said. “I don’t even know if it’s true. My dear mate’s original family lived many day’s flight toward the sunrise in another deep and dark forest full of many tales.”
            “How does his story go?” said Ramona.
            “I will try to remember,” said Maeve. “But it has been a very long time since I spoke to him.”
            “That’s alright, Birdy,” said Ralph, reaching up to give  her a little pat on her black feathers.
            “It goes like this: One time there was a rich farmer. He saved all his earnings in cash. Never banks. He was afraid of banks.
            “He had an old wife, for he was old too, but they had no children to inherit this good farm. They also had three local men for farm workers.”
            “Did the farmer keep his money in that wooden box?” said Ramona.
            “That’s what Moshe* said he did,” said Maeve. “One day, he took most of his money, in the box, into the forest and buried it, marking the spot with river stones. He told his old wife where the box was buried, and then after a few years he died.”
            “But, in the dream there were only bones in the box, not money or any kind of treasure!” said Ramona.
            “In the story Moshe told me, the farmer made a false bottom in the box. The gold and bills were under the false bottom. For a joke the farmer piled a bunch of sheep’s bones on top of that fake bottom. Or maybe, he did it to scare anyone who found the box because they would think it was a burial,” said Maeve.
            “Why did the farm workers come to dig it up like sneaks at night?” said Ramona.
            “Oh you know. They were there to rob the old woman. She must have let slip that the box was buried under those rocks. Maybe she promised them something?
            “Maybe they threatened her to get her to tell where it was. Moshe didn’t know,” said Maeve. “But when they saw nothing but bones they were angry and felt that she had tricked them. He didn’t say what became of the box or the money after they had run away.”
            “In my dream, there was someone watching, a park ranger,” said Ralph. “I bet he came back the next day and investigated. I don’t think they were supposed to be doing sneaky stuff in the park at night.”
            “I wonder if the ranger was able to find out whose money it was and return it,” said Ramona.
            “In a proper story, he would have done that,” said Ralph. “But my dream didn’t go that far.”        
            “And Moshe didn’t know that part of the story, or he would have told me,” said Maeve.
            “I still think it’s strange how angry and frightened the men were,” said Ramona.
            “They probably thought the bones were human, and when they realized that they were being watched, thought that it was a burial and that they would get blamed for a death,” said Ralph. “But, you know, maybe it didn’t happen at all. It was just a dream.
            “Oh, Mona, wise and merciful Firekeeper, let’s let the dream fade away. Let’s take our Cherry up to the meadow. Now is a good time to visit Koba, the Star Child, and his caretakers as well! The day is warm and beautiful and full of pleasant whispers.
            “Who knows what wonderful and true things we will meet this day?”
            “Oh, Baby! You’re right! We have better things to think about!” said Ramona. “I miss that child so much already that my heart hurts for him!”
            “Evermore!” said Maeve as she lifted off, soaring into the middle of the glorious air.
            So, like truly heroic characters in all the best tales, the group of four set out for the meadow immediately.
            Maeve flew overhead. Cherry drifted along beside her parents. Ralph and Ramona held hands as they walked. When they came out into the open all eyes could see the leafy dome of the Alder Tree House and in their eagerness, no one gave the old dream a single thought. It was quite forgotten.

🍀

 
*Moshe was Maeve’s old mate's name.