A Big Hard Head

 

Jim

            Something was hitting the Stump House hard!
            About the third time, Aunt Suzy woke up. She reached over to where Uncle Bob was lying flat on his back and snoring. She shook his shoulder, saying, “Wake up, Bob!”
            His eyes flew open. He heard the fourth big whack on the side of the Stump House.
            “What? Is it an earthquake, Suzy?”
            “I don’t think earthquakes act like that,” said Suzy. “Will you go out and see what it is? I’m afraid!”
            “OK,” said Bob, hesitantly.
            He climbed slowly out of bed. There was a fifth big hard thump. Then, Bob bravely left Suzy sitting up with wide open eyes, and went outside to see what was going on.
            In the grey light of dawn, what Bob saw was a great huge animal, something like a monster bull with a hump and an enormous head with horns backing off and getting ready to hit the Stump House a sixth time.
            “Hey!” said Bob, resolutely.
            “What?” said the beast.
            “Why are you doing that?” said Bob, “And who are you?”
            “My name is Jim and I have a big hard head,” said Jim.
            “We were sleeping in there!” protested Uncle Bob.
            “We? You got a mouse in your pocket?” said Jim.
            Poor Bob. That kind of threw him for a second. “I don’t have a pocket or a mouse.”
            “How did you get here? I’ve never seen you around here,” said Bob.
            “I’m lost, and I have a big hard head. Usually, I can solve a problem by hitting it with my head until it runs away or I figure out what it is,” said Jim.
            “Where are you supposed to be?”
            “It was a grassy hill with fruit trees. Somebody didn’t shut the gate, so I left and here I am. I thought if I rammed this here stump some kind of answer might appear, but it’s just you.”
            “I’m Bob,” said Bob.
            “I’m still lost,” said Jim.
            About then Suzy got too curious to stay inside. The thumps had stopped, but Bob had not returned. She poked her head out, and then came all the way out.       
            “Bob, what is it?”
            “This guy, Jim. He’s lost, and he has a big hard head that likes to hit things,” said Bob.
            “I can see he has a big hard head. Maybe we should take him to Ralph, and he can help him somehow,” said Aunt Suzy, hopefully.
            “Will you come with us to see Ralph?” said Bob.
            “Who’s Ralph. Has he got the biggest head around here?” said Jim, truculently.
            “Yes. He does,” said Suzy, by way of instigation.     
            “Alright,” said Jim. “I want to see his head!”
            The sun was starting to come up, patches of snow still lay in shadows in the meadow as Bob and Suzy accompanied by Jim took the familiar path through the Forest and into the Home Clearing. As they got near, they could see Ramona stoking her fire, preparing to cook something for Ralph’s and Cherry’s breakfast, not to mention Blue, Bob, and Berry.
            When she saw them, she stopped moving and just stood there looking, eyebrows up.
            “He wants to see Ralph,” said Bob.
            “Well, Ralph’s still asleep in the cave,” said Ramona. “I can go get him.”
            “I could hit that door until he comes out,” said Jim, with the whites of his eyes showing.
            But of course, Ralph had heard the ruckus and opened the door himself and came out to see what in the world was going on.
            “My head is bigger than his!” yelled Jim.
            “Whoa! What’s the problem here?” said Ralph. He was still yawning.
            “I’m lost. My name is Jim, and I have a big hard head. These two said you might be able to help,”
            “What do you want in life, Jim?” said Ralph.
            “Grass and water. No fences. That’s about it,” said Jim.
            “Ah! You want to roam! And graze of course,” said Ralph.
            “He was raring back and hitting the Stump House with his big hard head. It woke us up!” said Suzy. “Bob thought it was an earthquake. That bad!”
            “That was pretty rude, Jim,” said Ralph. Ramona nodded vigorously.
            “I didn’t know what else to do. That usually works,” said Jim.
            “You look pretty good to eat. You could hang around and be nice, or we could eat you. What do you think about that?” asked Ralph, grinning a little behind a hand.
            “Aw, come on!” said Jim. “You don’t gotta do that do you?”
            “That’s kind of up to you,” said Ralph. “You could hang out in the meadow and eat grass with no gates anywhere around, or we could eat you!”
            “You mean I have to figure this out myself?” said Jim.
            “Up to you,” said Ralph.
            Jim closed his eyes and breathed heavily for a long moment. Everybody waited to see what he would come up with.
            Maeve came to the party about then and settled on Ralph’s shoulder. She didn’t utter a sound. Seconds ticked by, but of course that’s a foreign concept for the parties involved.
            “OK. I’ll roam here with the deer, and be nice,” said Jim. “You don’t have to eat me.”
            “Maybe you could help me and Bob here knock down dead trees for firewood,” said Ralph.
            “That sounds like fun!” said Jim.
            “Great! Why don’t you head on back up into the meadow, help yourself to the grass and start hanging around?” said Ralph. 
            “I believe I will. Your head isn’t as big as mine, but it works good,” said Jim.
            Then Ramona invited Bob and Suzy to stay for breakfast. Cherry and Blue came out of the cave where she had been lurking and listening to the discussion. Bob and Berry came out to see last of all.
            Ramona cooked the fish she had been cleaning before Bob and Suzy and Jim appeared.
            Jim ambled off, heading for the meadow with his tail swinging back and forth.

🍁🦬🍁

The Days of Pumpkin Spice are Drawing Nigh!

 

It’s still early days, but you know it’s coming!
Pumpkin Spice latte’. Pumpkin Spice waffles…etc. It gets worse as the month of silliness continues.
I expect to see Pumpkin Spice used cars! Insurance! Mortgages! Weddings!
Maybe I shouldn’t put those ideas out in the air! Can you imagine a Pumpkin Spice wedding? I can. But I really shouldn't.
We all love the pie, goodness knows. But only if made at home in an actual human kitchen. We take a dim view of the Safeway stuff. It looks OK, but can you really be sure?
Even made with sweet potatoes, it’s great stuff. Seems like a historical type of flavor from the early years of this country. It might even have something to do with Indian cookery. Not sure. But I know that early Americans did learn some cookery from the people already here, and dealing with unfamiliar foods, such as corn, meaning maize.
            Maybe this whole thing is a warm up for Thanksgiving!
            What say you?

Unexpected Company Open Thread Blues

 

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A

Fine and Blessed F'lineday

To

All who see this page today!

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An Odd Way of Looking at Things

 

 

            It was early winter in the Forest. Snow came sometimes, and sometimes it melted away. Ramona never knew for sure what she would find when she opened up the green door to face the dawn.
            This particular morning could only be described as bleak, if you went by human sensibilities. It was dark. It was cold. Everything was wet. Melting snow lay in little lumps, appearing ghostly in the dimness.
            She said her morning praises while she fed the fire some dry, but outwardly soggy, branches. She was thinking on what to make for the rest when they woke. She had flour and a few eggs, so she decided to make a bunch of pancakes. She didn’t have anything sweet to go on them, but no problem. They would just roll them up in their fingers and eat them.
            She went back inside to gather supplies.
            When Ramona came back out, a weak gray sunrise was beginning. That was exactly as expected on such a day. She glanced around, as she normally would. But then she stopped and tried to focus on an area just beyond the fire. She shook her head and squinted. Something was really off, or else she was losing her ability to see, but in just one part of her field of vision. She knew that wasn’t likely. That’s not how blindness works.
            There was an area before Ramona where nothing existed. It wasn’t like a wavy vision, like wet glass, it didn’t twinkle or anything like that. It wasn’t a portal. She knew about those. It was just Not There. Later, she had a heck of a time explaining how that could be. It was like something had taken a bite out of the world and left nothing behind. It didn’t exactly look funny; it didn’t look at all!
            She put down her stuff on her little work area, because she was going to go over there to be sure she wasn’t dreaming or something.
            Some wind came up right then, making a sad moaning sound as it blew through her world.
            When she got close to the strange area, she felt like she was subtly tipping toward it. Like the unreal place, the non-existence of it had a pull of some kind. She found that anything she focused on outside of this non-existence slipped into the same condition.
            It made no noise, no ominous hum. It just wasn’t there.
            She picked up a handful of wet forest floor and threw it toward the not-there. The potential here was not lost on Ramona. She thought of her family, and everything she loved falling into the non-existence.
            The wind made such a fuss blowing against the cave door, that the racket woke Ralph. He threw an arm across the bed, and found that Ramona must be out in the wind. That was normal, but something seemed wrong this particular morning.
            Alarm filled his heart.
            “Where is she?” went through his mind, as he left the cave, closing the door behind himself.        
            Outside, he found Ramona standing looking at the Nothing as if entranced by it, or maybe just trying to work it into her understanding, but leaning toward it.
            “Mona, turn around,” Ralph said.
            She did, giving him a strange vacant look.
            “No,” he said. Something changed.
            The wind quieted down, watching, listening.
            “Baby?” she said, seeming to wake up.
            “Stand behind me, Mona!” said Ralph. “I won’t have it!”
            She walked behind him, and clung to him, her face pressed into his back.
            “This came from below. I won’t have it here!” he said.
            “What will you do?” she whispered.
            “Wait for me, Mona. I will return. Go inside and wait for me,” said Ralph. He gently removed her hands from his body and kissed her. Then, facing the Nothing, he stepped into it and was gone as if there had never been such a person, as if reality collapsed on the memory of Ralph.
            But Ramona did remember her true love, and she obeyed him. She went back inside and lay down, and began to wait.
            Into that dark place below all, Ralph fell. It was the same vacancy that had trapped Cherry, Sky, the lost young man whom he had rescued, and many others. All the sorrows that ever were seemed to press down on him there. The darkness, the absence of light, was absolute.
            He began to sing. He sang of light. He addressed the Power that he served. And there was light. With that light came existence.
            The Nothing fled before his voice and his knowledge.
            He sang of life. He sang for the love of life. Tears ran down his beard, and yet they were tears of great joy. His voice rolled and rolled, and the sound was like choirs and thunder at the same time.
            At last, he laughed.
            He was home, and all was well. The clouds rolled away, in celebration. The sun began to shine down into the Clearing.
            Ralph slipped into the cave, where Ramona waited for him. He sat on the bed.
            “Was I gone long?” he said.
            “While you were gone, it seemed long, Baby. But now, it seems like no time at all!” she said. “Isn’t that strange?”
            “It’s very hard to think of nothing at all,” he said. “In fact, now, it seems as if nothing at all happened. We might forget all about it!”
            “That would suit me,” said Ramona, throwing off the big quilt, and rising to her feet.

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It Was October 5, 2017. It Was Nevada.

 

        (The image shows the famous roadside attraction featuring a vintage tow truck and a UFO model outside the Little A'Le'Inn in Rachel, Nevada, along the Extraterrestrial Highway (State Route 375). Gargle ai..)

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            We thought it was fun, for one reason, because my daughter's name is Rachel. Sometimes it doesn't take much to be amused on one of those long drives.

            Nevada was pretty interesting. There was definitely a sense of mystery, things going on that we had no way of knowing about!

        And there's always some lonely dirt road...

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The Voices From Under The Desk

 

(It looked an awful lot like this to Suzy and Toots.)

🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

 

            “Suzy, where are you? I haven’t heard a word from you in days,” said Toots from her undisclosed location in the shop.
            “Shhh! I’m under the desk,” said Suzy. “It’s the only way.”
            “I see. What is it this time?” Toots kind of rolled her eyes. She had a pretty good idea.
            “They sneak around and look at me,” said Suzy, plaintively.
            “Well, Suzy,” said Toots, “At least you can see them! You have that advantage.”
            “That could be taken two ways, Toots. Would you like to come down here and check it out?” Suzy laughed a little to herself. “Maybe between the two of us we could teach them a lesson or two. Growling doesn’t seem to work consistently.”
            “Sure! What a good idea. We’ve never visited each other’s homes yet! Sure, hang on a second…” said Toots.
            A few moments later,” as they say on SpongeBob.
            “Well, hm? This is it, huh? Seems pretty secure. It’s close, you have carpet and a good LOS,” said Toots. “That’s really important!”
            “Oh, I can see them alright!” agreed Suzy,
            There is some agitation out on the floor.
            “Hey, who are you talking to?” said Sweetie, nosily.
            “Yeah, I wanna see,” said Booker.
            “None of your business. Boo!” said Suzy.
            Sweetie begins munching Suzy’s little bowl of kibble just like his bowl of kibble in the kitchen.
            “You see how it is, Toots,” said Suzy.
            “Who is Toots? Is she a ghost? Why can’t I see her?” said Sweetie.
            “Because she’s in Texas,” said Suzy, enjoying his confusion.
            “Nah! That’s stupid. I don’t believe in Toots, and Texas sounds made up!”
            “Let me see!” said Booker, shoving his head under the desk too.
            “You two are rather rude, you know,” said Toots, “if I were here, I would teach you a thing or two young Tomcats need to know. In fact, I wish I were here.”
            “Do you hear growling, Booker?” said Sweetie.
            “Doesn’t sound like Suzy. I bet it’s that ghost she’s talking to!” said Booker, eyes wide.
            “Let’s get out of here!” yowled Sweetie, tail all brushed up, as was Booker’s tail too.
            “Well, good. Now, they think that under the desk is haunted!” laughed Suzy.
            “Glad to assist. You should come visit the shop sometime. Get to know Sammie!” said Toots.
            “Good idea!” said Suzy. “I hope we don’t scare her!”
            “Don’t worry, Sammie is a wee bitty bit savvier than those two big babies!” said Toots.
            “It’s a deal. Next time!” said Suzy, who was getting very sleepy.
            “Next time,” said Toots before she withdrew from under the desk. 

            She was sleepy too.

💚😺😸💚

It Looked Like a Warzone at the Ranger Station

 

Well, nearby!

 
            It was cold, snow was falling. In an hour it would be fully dark.
            The Sheriff’s dept. was there, Search and Rescue were there. Many volunteers were also parked at the ranger station. But the searchers were nowhere to be seen, as they were out combing the forest around the campground.
            If the search continued overnight, support vehicles would be there with food and drinks for the searchers.
            Rick and Dexter were running a sort of open house in the office. Neither had gone home. Right at that moment Hannah was up in the mobile making very sustaining type cookies for the searchers to snack on with their paper cups of coffee, compliments of the ranger station.
            One very freaked out set of parents, the girl’s mom and dad, already sat in the office staying warm, drinking coffee, and waiting. Rick had heard that the boy’s parents were on their way from Oregon. It might be morning before they arrived.
            “Maybe by morning this whole thing will be over,” Rick thought to himself, but didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to promise anything he couldn’t deliver to the suffering man and woman sitting silently in his office.
            Dexter was doing his best to present a hopeful presence for their sake, but Rick knew Dexter was very worried.
            The missing kids, Myra and Jeff, had chatted with Dexter before they took off hiking that morning. He had warned them that more snow was coming and that it was cold, and getting colder. Jeff had said they wouldn’t even be gone until dark. They were just going to hike the granny trail behind the campground.
            Now, it was getting dark and Jeff’s Explorer sat cold and empty. They hadn’t returned.
            Rick knew that everyone was doing their best, hunting for the two young people, but Rick had a sick feeling in his heart, and he was worried about time. To be lost in a snowstorm at night in the park was something like a death sentence, in his opinion. They couldn’t last long.
            “Dexter, will you hold down the fort here? I’ve got an idea,” Rick said quietly to Dexter out by the coffee pot.
            “Sure,” said Dexter. He watched Rick speak in a low voice to Myra’s parents and step outside. Dexter had a pretty good idea what Rick was thinking. He’d been thinking it too.
            Rick wanted to talk to Ralph, most urgently. He needed Ralph’s expertise with the park and the mountains. He stood there in the parking lot with the snow falling all around him, and piling up on all of those vehicles, and he wished with all of his heart that he could just call Ralph somehow.
            While he was standing there, he heard something land on the station dumpster. It was that big raven that hung around with Ralph. She was as black as the night but contrasted against the snow. She cocked her head and gave him an enquiring look with one sharp black eye.
            She made a low chuckling kind of raven sound in her throat, and spoke, “Are you looking for Ralph, Mr. Ranger?”
            He felt as if he were entering the realms of magic, he knew she spoke, but not that she read minds. “Yes, Maeve. I want to speak to Ralph most urgently.”
            “He knows, come with me, Mr. Ranger,” she said. “He’s waiting for you.”
            So, Rick followed Maeve into the Great Forest, which is just adjacent to the station parking lot. She flew in little bursts and he followed on foot.
            It was snowy in the Forest, but not like back at the station and campground. In a few moments, Rick saw the fire burning in the clearing. Ralph was standing by the fire, and Ramona was sitting.
            “Thanks for coming so quickly,” said Ralph.
            “I need your help, Ralph. We’ve got two lost kids, well young adults. We’re running out of time and nobody is finding anything,” said Rick, feeling that magic tug again. “Why thank me, did you know I would need you?”
            “Oh, you know. I kinda thought so. See, I know where they are, and you’re right. They’re running out of time,” said Ralph.
            “What can we do?” said Rick.
            “We can go get them. But you gotta prepare yourself. I’m not sure any human has ever gone where we’re going to go exactly. Hang on, I have to go get something,” Ralph said.
            Ralph left the fire circle and went into the cave for a moment. While he was gone, Ramona said, “It’s going to be OK. But yes, you do need to hurry.”
            When Ralph came back, he carried something that looked like a dull golden cable looped over his hands. “Watch this,” he said. Then he stretched the golden cable out into a circle and shook it. It brightened up, and hung in the air. It expanded to about 8 feet across.
            Rick’s head kind of swam, and he felt a bit dizzy.
            “What is it?” he said weakly.
            “A doorway. A portal, if you like,” said Ralph. “I know where the young people are. They walked way up on the mountain, and now they are lost. We must step through and bring them back. I hope they can handle seeing me! I didn’t think it would work for me to go alone.”
            “Alright, Ralph. I believe you. I think I know you pretty well,” said Rick.  
            So, Ralph stepped through the gleaming circle, to show Rick how it was done. Rick took a big breath and stuck his right foot through. There was solid snow out there, so he stepped on through, joining Ralph where he stood on a steeply inclined path in the dark, with snow falling heavily all around them.
            Ralph gathered the portable portal up into a few loops and put it around his neck.
            “They’re over there under that little ledge,” said Ralph. He was right.
            Rick stuck his head down where he could see under the overhanging rocks. “Hi,” he said. “We’re here to get you out of here. Can you walk?”
“I can,” said the boy. “I’m not sure about Myra. She’s pretty sleepy. Who are you, anyhow,” he said, beginning to sound excited, and beginning to crawl out into the open.
            “I’m Rick from the ranger station where you talked to my trainee this morning. My good friend who is your real rescuer is Ralph. Prepare yourself.”
            “I’ll try,” said Jeff as he crawled the rest of the way out.
            “Hi,” said Ralph. “If she can’t walk, I better carry her. We need to get her out of the cold right now.”
            Jeff kind of wavered, visibly, but he finally rallied and said, “Hi. Maybe I’m delirious. Maybe not. Hello, gentlemen. Please do carry Myra, Ralph, sir.”
            “Hang on for a second,” said Ralph. He prepared the portable portal again. Jeff looked like he might bolt, but for the sake of Myra, he didn’t.
            Ralph reached down into the rough shelter and scooped the girl up. She appeared to be asleep. “Follow me,” he said.
            So, first Ralph, carrying Myra, stepped through, Then Jeff followed, as in a dream, then Rick, feeling pretty dreamy himself.
            The whole party emerged in that little patch of land right behind the station dumpster.
            “Her parents are in my office,” said Rick. “Maybe we better take her in there.”
            Myra had rallied a little bit and was trying to wriggle out of Ralph’s arms, so he set her gently on the snowy ground.
            “We’ll walk her into the office. Thanks, Ralph.”
            “Thank you, Ralph,” said Jeff, hanging on to Myra. “Now I know something nobody I know knows. If that makes sense.”
            “Makes tons of sense,” laughed Ralph. “Now take her to her mama. It’s cold out here!”
            Ralph gathered up his golden portal and hung it in loops around his neck as he and Rick watched Jeff take Myra in to see her parents.
            “You know, the excitement is just beginning now. How are they going to explain their rescue? How can they explain anything, but there they are, fully alive,” said Rick.
            “Oh, nobody will believe them. They will chalk it up to cold and exposure and loss of faculties, won’t they? It’ll be OK,” said Ralph. “Maybe you can smooth the waters a little bit.”
            “Everything OK, Boss?” said the Raven who had suddenly appeared as if called.
            “Yup, Birdie, everything’s well that ends well. Isn’t that what they say?”
            Ralph disappeared down the path into the Forest with his portal around his neck and his bird on his shoulder, and he was laughing softly.
            Rick headed over to his office to call off the search and to smooth the waters, if he could.
            He was beginning to imagine what the news would say about this one.

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