Before There Was Ralph, There Was Ralph

 This isn't him.  It just looks like him.  Couldn't find a photo!

   Once upon a time, on the Tulalip Res, with a house full of children and busy as heck, I got the notion that I should find a dog.  Now, not having acquired a dog on purpose before, having had them just arrive of their own volition always before, I looked in the free ads in the local paper.  I didn't know any dogs needing adoption. There was one ad detailing a very hairy Malamute mix who needed a home. That sounded like my type of dog. No labs or tiny yappers please!

   A lady had this dog who had lived on her parents' farm. He was jailed in her suburban backyard and she wanted rid of him.  The parents were moving or something and Ralph, for such was his name, had to go.  The lady was eager to find him another home.  Naturally I had to go take a look.  My mistake was going to look at him. I was driving something like a Pinto at the time. I guess it was a Pinto.

   He looked agreeable enough. An intact male, half Malamute and half Collie I think. I stuffed him into the back seat of the Pinto and hoped he wouldn't get mean back there. He didn't.  He just sat there and grinned.

   He was a natural dog.  And a half.

   He became a neighborhood nuisance immediately.

   In my present state I would never allow a dog of mine to range the neighborhood like he did.  I just let him do his thing. At that time I kinda let everybody do their thing.

   One day the man who lived across our little dirt road called me complaining bitterly that Ralph was "fornicating" in the road.  I checked.  Yeah, that is what was happening right in front of my neighbor's house.  While giggling, I explained that dogs can't "fornicate", being sinless animals. He was not amused.

   Ralph had another bad habit.  Cat hunting. At that time we didn't  have the dynasty of outdoor cats. They came later. So he was not hunting my cats.  But, yeah, I had seen him run down and finish off a cat. 

   Not good. This is not a nice thing to witness.

   Eventually, while the kids were busy elsewhere, I put him back into the Pinto and took him to the fancy shelter in town and told them, "I give up."  Maybe they could find another farm for him to inhabit. I couldn't admit to the kids where he was.  I said I figured he  had run off. Mommy lied.

   So, that was the first Ralph.  When it was time to name our forest brother, what name should pop up but Ralph!

   Here's to you Ralph, wherever you ended up!  You were impossible, though exceedingly amiable, with a smile for anyone except cats.