It Had To Be The Comet

 

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            Now, normally, as we all know, Ramona is the soul of competence. Like the sun, she is regular and dependable. Like the wife in the psalm she arises before dawn and lights that fire and starts her work. She attends to the needs of  her children, the cats, and most of all, to Ralph.
            Her temper is beyond smooth. Her laugh is sweet. She is called blessed.
            One morning, however, did not auger well. Poor Ramona!
            Her Bic lighter, one of the treasures of modern civ., ran out of fuel.
            The bail broke on her trusty large pot, dumping the oats and water she was going to cook into the coals of the last night’s fire. A bit of irritation tugged at the corners of her mind.
            Then when she was striding back to the cave to apply for assistance from Ralph himself, she stubbed her toe very firmly on a rock Twigg had rolled out of place at the fire circle.  Ramona didn't cuss. I’m not sure Forest Keepers cuss anyhow.  But she did cry a little.
            Ralph was still sleeping his monarchal sleep when she got to the bed. She sat down on the side examining her bloodied toe. It seemed like it might be broken.
            “I can’t cook, Ralph,” she said somewhat firmly. “And I have a busted toe.”
            He didn’t stir. She reached over and poked him in the ribs. She had never done this before.
            “Ralph, I can’t make breakfast,” louder.
            “What?  Why can’t you make breakfast?” He was awake at last, realizing that this was a serious matter.
            “My Bic is dead. The pot broken and I walked into a rock Twigg moved, I guess. Now my toe might be broken, and I can’t make breakfast!” Ramona reiterated.
            “Can you still walk?” said Ralph.
            “I think so,” said Ramona. “But my pot is broken, and I can’t make a fire!”
            Ralph sat up finally. “I have a Bic out by my log for cigars. I’ll go get it. Let me see the pot, if you can make it out there.”
            Leaving the children and the cats sleeping, they went outside to check on the pot and all. Ralph put the rock back into position. Then he discovered that the bail was not broken, it had just come loose, so he put it back into position also.
            Ramona limped back into the cave for another batch of oats and threw some raisins in for good measure with a little salt. Then she added water from a five gallon bucket of water she kept in the cave. Then she carried it back out to the fire circle.  Ralph had gone to fetch the other Bic, so she took a seat and waited for him as the sun came up and time stretched out some. It seemed to be taking him a long time to come back.

            So, then, while Ralph was rummaging in his collection of cool stuff in the shelter of his big cedar log, finally locating the red Bic lighter, he saw a flash of light and heard a loud popping sound. There was also a strong whiff of ozone in the general area.
            Well, when he looked up, Ralph couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Right on the back side of his log stood a Forest Brother twice his size. This fellow was very shaggy and had a sort of mossy color to his fur. He was bald on top and had a beard down to his belly.  The effect was striking, even for Ralph.
            The large Brother seemed to be equally amazed.  He looked all around as if  he had never seen trees before perhaps. He must have been frightened for his scent was hair raising, even for Ralph. It was like Durian and maybe skunk, with a lingering bit of ozone.
            “Howdy,” said Ralph.
            “Michinimayoimashita,” said the big guy. (I’m lost, in Japanese.)
            “Ah,” said Ralph, trying to think of what to do.
            “Why don’t you follow me back to the fire.  We’ll see how Ramona and the kids are, OK?”
            “Watashi wa anata ni shitagaimasu,” said the big green guy when Ralph started walking. (I’ll follow you, also in Japanese.)
            And he did follow Ralph, who was thinking as hard and fast as he could. He wasn’t sure how this visitation would go over with Ramona and her broken toe!
            Twigg and the puma bros had awakened and were out hanging around the cold dead fire circle with Ramona. Cherry was still asleep in the cave. It was quiet there, and they were all hungry waiting for Ralph to arrive with the lighter.
            However, when Ramona looked up and saw himself and someone else returning, she managed to say, “now what, Ralph?” very firmly indeed, perhaps even a bit stridently. She was thinking, “how the heck am I going to feed him?” She stared open mouthed.
            Berry and Bob ran off into the trees, temporarily. Twigg thought of following them, but decided to go hide in the cave instead, at the last instant. Cherry woke and started crying.
            Twigg went in under the bed. He had left the door open though, so Cherry floated out looking for her mother. Sizing up the scene she beheld, she yelled even louder and floated back into the cave, pulling the door shut behind herself. She got under the big quilt Thaga had given Ralph and Ramona and stayed there.
            “I found this guy out by my log,” said Ralph. “I can’t understand a thing he says.”
            “Kon'nichiwa, josei,” said Keiishi, since that was his name, even though none of them knew it. (hello lady, in Japanese.)
            “I see what you mean,” said Ramona, smiling weakly at the big guy, hoping that he was tame.
            At that very moment, there was a brilliant purplish flash of light. Keiishi wavered for a moment, looking as translucent as green glass, then he vanished. There was a sound like a thunder clap right near the ground where they stood. Only the scent of Durian, skunk and ozone remained to suggest that he had ever been there.  He was like, gone.
            “What in the world was that all about,” said Ramona, wonderingly.
            “I blame the comet,” said Ralph. “But look, baby, I found the red Bic! Now you can make breakfast!”