A Kind Of Air Conditioning

 

The for really true Mt Baker Snoqualmie National Forest in the winter!

❄🤍❄

 

            We return briefly to the rescue and discovery of Tilly, the urchin who was pulled wet and miserable out of the big cold river by Berry and Bob, and her being brought back to the Home Clearing by Twigg and Linnet, where she was warmed and fed by “two mommies.” And then we all remember how Ralph carried her back to her parents, where they were grieving in their camp chairs and how a Snohomish County search and rescue guy reached the realization of who it was who had returned Tilly to Iris and Jim.
            Well, Officer Kelly was not the sort of man to leave loose ends and untied knots laying around. Such things bothered him, as an officer of the law, in addition to his normal desire to get to the bottom of things.
            It is true that he knew of Ralph, from his friendship with Millicent Price. He had known her since they were in high school, and sometimes they had actually discussed marriage, but hadn’t gotten around to it quite yet. That is to say that he believed her. He knew her as a straight shooter, and not too bad on a keyboard either.
            Now that he believed, even more than before Tilly’s rescue, he wanted to know. He needed to know.
            He thought of Tilly’s observation, “big!” and snorted to himself. In short, he decided that this was the year, the time, and the place for him to go introduce himself to the Forest Man, if he could just contrive somehow to arrange a meeting.
            On his next day off, a Tuesday, he bundled up in warm clothes, threw a thermos of hot coffee into his official SUV with the Snohomish County green and white paint job, and headed for approximately the area where Jim and Iris had been camped.  There was a paved parking lot near there.
            He got there pretty early in the morning. It was chilly and damp in the woods. He parked, locked up his vehicle, and stood just looking all around. He was a nice looking man in his forties. Friendly, a little soft, but not plump. He pulled a dark green county beanie down snug over his sandy curls and started walking.  He was kind of following his nose, or maybe some slight leading.
            Where his nose said to go was down the trail away from the river but towards the Home Clearing which we know so well. As he walked snow began to drift down through the trees. It was noticeably colder, after the heated SUV. But he kept going. He was wearing gloves and long wool underwear.
            Eventually Officer Kelly happened upon the big cedar log. Now, as it also happened, Ralph knew Kelly was out there, and he had decided to be friendly. So, there he was seated on his log, kind of swinging his legs and humming an almost subliminally deep rumbly song.
            The snow was falling around Ralph, but it wasn’t sticking. It was like it kind of avoided him as he sat there waiting for Kelly to appear.
            Kelly finally did walk up behind Ralph, who was facing home. Kelly was stopped in his tracks by the sight of that huge deep brown back. But since this meeting was what he was there for he stood his ground.
            “I know you’re back there.  Why don’t you come around where I can see you,” said Ralph.
            So, Officer Kelly came around where Ralph could see him. What Ralph saw was a curious guy, just verging on middle age, with a decent heart.
            What Kelly saw was an eight foot tall, maybe 600lb, depending on how hunting and cooking were going, guy, with a humorous broad face, an easy smile, and deeply set brown eyes with laugh crinkles all around them. He was covered in a really heroic haircoat also, long on his head and back and forearms and lower legs, and thinner over his chest. He was clean and shiny.
            “What’s your name officer?” said Ralph.
            “Colin M. Kelly,” said Colin.
            “Why don’t you knock some snow offa this log Colin and hop up and take a little break?” said Ralph.
            So Colin M. Kelly cleared a space in the snow and hopped up. It was a pretty good sized hop too.
            “I guess I knew you were out here because of Millicent,” said Colin. “I believed her, of course, but I just had to see for myself.  You know?”
            “I don’t blame you,” said Ralph.  “We do a pretty good job of staying out of sight, unless we want to be seen.”
            “By the way, thanks for taking Tilly back to her parents,” said Colin. “They were about to break down when she turned up missing. A kid that age is a random motion vector.”
            “I know,” said Ralph.
            “You have kids?” said Colin.
            “Two,” said Ralph.
             They sat together, not talking, just being there for a few minutes.
            Finally Colin said, “why doesn’t the snow stick to you and why is there a big melted area around you?  Why don’t you get cold in bad weather?  I always wondered about that. I don’t think you have heated houses out here, do you?”
            “Is this a business or a friendly interview, officer?” laughed Ralph. “Oh, I’m just kidding. We have shelter. At least my family and I do.  It’s a cave, but we would be fine without it really. What does the M. stand for?”
            “Marion. But don’t tell anybody. I don’t,” said Colin.
            “Okay. Um, we don’t get cold because of how we are made. I’m not sure. I have theories. I think we’re made with a kind of air conditioning built in. I think it’s in our hairs. When it’s hot they get colder than the air, and when it’s cold these hairs warm up!  They shed water real good too! Hey, nobody asked me that before. Not even Millicent, and I thought she had thought of everything. That is one nosy lady, Colin.”
            “I just wondered,” said Colin.
            “I better go home now Colin. And you better get out of this weather,” said Ralph. “Hey! I tell you what!  When the weather is better in a few months I’ll send you a little message. Don’t worry about it. You’ll notice when you get it.  Come on back and we’ll have dinner back with Ramona and the kids and the pumas! It’ll be great. You’ll love em, and they’ll love you!”
            “I would like that Ralph. And I am freezing my buns off here already. I’ll be waiting for that invite. Believe me. Shall I bring Millicent?”
            “Yeah, that sounds like fun, man,” said Ralph, hopping down off the log.
            “Okay, really looking forward to it, Ralph. Thanks! Man, I can’t wait to get in with my heater!” said Colin.
            Ralph patted him on the back, firmly, and Colin took off.

          Mission accomplished!