The Meaning and Deportment of Claws

 

A Symposium

 

(Today’s meeting is being brought to you by KittyComm™)

 
            “Meowees and Prrrrts, a question has arisen among some of our human friends. It’s a small thing but often comes up in conversation among them. I felt that it would be appropriate for us to discuss, and possibly deal with,” said Willie, speaking as Chair for the group.
            “What it amounts to is this: claw deportment. There it is! Most of us learn some time in kittenhood to retract our claws when being handled by humans. It’s a minor courtesy. But, occasionally there is a cat who for one reason or another does not employ this nicety. The question is why not?
            “Naturally, this leads on to another discussion. What is the meaning of claw behavior? And is that behavior necessarily innate, or is it learned? In other words, do you snag every doggone thing, and get hung up on sweaters, shirts and blankets because you are a Scaredycat™?” said Willie. “Also, what makes a Scaredycat™?”
            “The floor is open, anyone?” said Willie.
            “I’ll go,” said Buddy. “I think the important dividing line is between bloodshed, minor or not, and mere annoyance, which often works to our advantage. Unless a human is causing us harm or extreme distress, which none of our people do anyhow, we don’t want to injure their skin or wreck those things they wear, for whatever reason, which I will never understand. However, using our God-given vocal ability is fair game!”
            “Thank you, Buddy. Yes, Charley?”
            “For the most part, Willie, I try to remember not to cause physical harm. I used to hiss and yell a lot, now I don’t. I’m not sure why. But after I went to that place, I think they were aliens, honestly, I just don’t feel as much like raising hell with people. I think the aliens did something weird to me,” said Charley.
            “Sometimes I think a sturdy smack with a closed paw does as much good as a good rip with the claws anyhow. And they don’t carry on as much about that. They might even laugh. Maybe humans are all aliens,” she added.
            “That’s a different question, Charley. Let it be stricken from the record,” said Willie.
            “Ah, Mr. Baby Sir, yes?” Willie pointed to Mr. B.S.
            “I want to touch on the meaning of claw behavior. In the outside world, where we originally lived, before we tamed the big relatively hairless hominids, claws were our tools, and our defensive weapons, in addition to our teeth, being largely the same.
            “Deeply extant in our instinctive minds, this is still the case. Tools and weapons. I would like to ask, are our humans friends or fearsome enemies? I posit that if they are friends we shouldn’t use our weapons on them, even if we are very nervous!
            “Also, no matter how irrelevant their behavior seems at times, they are sentient, and we can’t treat them as if they are inert material,” and Mr. Baby Sir, resumed his seat.
            “Excellent points, Sir,” said Willie, with a nearly straight face.
            (Everyone had a polite little laugh at his expense. Mr. Baby bowed to the group, in good humor.)
            “Let’s get back on track,” said Willie. “Suzy? What say you?”
            “I must say that I feel a little bit pointed out here, but I’ll play. OK. Yes, everybody knows I have jumpy claws. I’m a jumpy cat. Why? Don’t ask me. I didn’t order being jumpy on Amazon. It came in the package that I was born with. If I could choose, I would be all lazy and contented like our esteemed Chair, ahem, Willie.
            “I’m not lazy!” said Willie.
            “Now, you get back on track, Willie,” said Suzy, grinning a little, as if giving herself a point. “This is the deal. Some cats are born domesticated. Some become domesticated, and some will probably never be truly domesticated.
            “But our wildness is useful to the group of contented kitties, I insist. Look at Toots! Our sister, Toots, is a finely tuned watcher and warrior at the gates of her home! Nobody else has the stamina and dedication she possesses. Just let some nasty divergent life form come slinking near her home, and by all that’s holy, she will raise the alarm! I salute her wildness! So what if her claws stick out a little more often than some!” said Suzy, urgently.
            “Well said, Suzy. Now speak for yourself,” said Willie.
            “I will speak for Suzy,” said Toots, suddenly standing and raising her paw.
            “Go ahead then,” said Willie.
            Suzy is a philosopher. Don’t you dare giggle, you guys. She ponders deeply the mixed facts of reality. This is, of course, rather alarming to a girl of her, or my, sensibility. Trust is such an issue in life. Don’t you see?
            “Once one has considered all possibilities, the stark matter of trust raises its wobbly head. To trust, or not to trust. Will a person who is all pets, and lovey words, suddenly become cruel?  How does a cat really know?
            “Most of you are too easily swayed by a past history of comfort and love. I say face the fact that things are not 100% predictable. Suzy has faced this, and it makes her a little excitable. I get that, believe me,” said Toots. “Also, we don’t like cameras, or people suddenly looming over us. Sure, trust, but make sure too!”
            “Wow, Toots, who knew,” said Willie.
            “Thank you, Toots dear,” said Suzy, without recognition from the Chair. Then she sat back down. She and Toots gave each other virtual high-fives.
            “Alright girls. Anybody else have anything to add,” said Willie, giving Suzy a look.
            Sammie raises her paw, waiting for the Chair to notice her.
            “Sammie! I see you there. Go ahead,” said Willie.
            “Hello everybody. I listened carefully to all of you, and I know you all spoke from your hearts. Each of you made very good points and those points give us all an opportunity to understand each other better.
            “It seems to me that our responsibility to those who are easily upset is to comfort them, so that perhaps some day they could drop their vigilance level down a bit, but not all the way down.
            “Now, I don’t mean to take anything away from Toots’ or Suzy’s special abilities. Not at all. We need each of us to do our best. And sometimes heroes are a little less sophisticated than others of us. Let it be, I say.
            “I say a gentle paw on a triggered cat’s shoulder will do more good than all the scolding in the world. Or maybe a concerted effort to Purr™ with the easily alarmed among us would be the way to go.  I’ll leave it there. I don’t mean to lecture, which only dilutes a heartfelt message, in my opinion,” said Sammie.
            “Well, Sammie,” said Willie. “I don’t think there’s any more to be said. Let’s end there so your advice stays with us as we resume our normal schedules.
            “Also, you should speak up more often!” said Willie, who was quite impressed.
            “Thank you, Willie,” said Sammie.
            Willie adjourned the meeting, and everybody went back to their regularly scheduled activities, naps, kibble, naps, and so forth.

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