Transmitting from a box somewhere.
Today’s program is brought to you by KittyComm™, the
latest word in getting kitties together!
I’m your host, Willie. If you have
any Booger sightings to report, no matter how improbable, contact me at
BoogerAwareness@gmail.com. It would be my pleasure to air them here.
Tonight I have the privilege of talking to two witnesses. Toots is in Texas, and Suzy is in Washington State. Both have fur raising experiences to report.
First, I have a question for Toots. Since this is a new channel and we don’t get many listeners, yet, can you explain to the listeners just exactly what is meant by the term “Booger?”
“Sure, Willie. I’m pretty surprised to have you being the host, but OK, I’ll go with it. A Booger is a creature who may or may not exist but probably shouldn’t. They come in different forms. They’re schitzy too. You never know!”
How about you, Suzy. Anything to add?
“Do I have to? I guess if Toots is doing it, I will. Booger is the word people us in crazy places far away from me! Usually it refers to what more enlightened people, or cats, call a Sasquatch. I guess they don’t know any Indigenous people, so they don’t use the right word.”
Yes, Toots?
“The word started in England in the form of bugger, where it meant an animal, usually a farm animal. Brits brought the word with them, and it morphed a little in sound and meaning. I could go on but should leave it at that.”
That’s great Toots. But today we want to hear about your experiences with these, um, Boogers, or whatever. How did this start for you?
“Well, it was a gradually dawning awareness. A few years ago I started to sense that something was not right outside my window. It was an intangible uneasiness. I began to feel like the situation required research. Hence, the window.”
What happens at the window, Toots?
“I keep watch! Whaddaya think, Willie?”
See anything interesting, Toots?
“I haven’t seen the big one, yet. But I know he’s out there. He transmits a pretty darn loud signal. I think we get our waves crossed sometimes. I’m not sure if I’m afraid of him or not!”
Tell me more, Ms. Toots!
“OK, Willie, I will! I was at my usual post the other night, once the water had started to recede, just keeping watch, when suddenly a little gray tomcat appeared at my window. He and I were having a lively discussion, when something even worse showed up. I think it was hunting the young fool!”
What did that look like?
“I could hardly bear to look! It was twice the cat’s size. It had a great big boogly head with enormous yellow eyes with those goat pupils you know? Ewww! He had a long gray pigtail hanging to his feet, which were huge and flat as pancakes. To make things even worse, he was in a tight little spandex romper suit printed in a snakeskin pattern. He had a wooden flute which he played as if to hypnotize the big dumb kitten. Did I mention that his mouth was impossibly wide and full of sharp teeth?”
“Yeah, Willie! I screamed like a Banshee with Scorpion sauce up her nose until he beat it! I scared the little stinker away. The gray kitten took off in the other direction. Well, that woke my gentleman too, but he was able to go outside with a light and make sure nothing was wrong. I feel that I did my duty!”
I should say so! We are all proud of you! Now, Suzy, what would you like to report?
“Um, I just saw a green dog get out of a spaceship out in the alley one night. I really hadn’t expected that. He wasn’t scary. Just weird. I never could figure out what he wanted.”
Yeah, I remember that…. Anything else Ms. Suzy?
“Jaja! I’ve seen shape shifters all over the backyard! In broad daylight! They look like crows, but, man, they’re shapeshifters! I know it. They will eat anything! I know because the Boss here feeds them! Then there are shapeshifters who look just like squirrels. But I know the ravening beasts are not really squirrels!”
Are you sure, Suzy? Maybe they really are crows and squirrels!
“Nope, and the Bush Tits are no better. They travel in packs! Packs, I tell you! Horrible!”
Whoah! Intriguing! Unusual! For sure, Suzy!
“But I have more! The best or worst of all, depending. Some chick writes for the local paper about a Sasquatch character that she calls Ralph, as if he’s real but maybe not. There is some wink-wink, nudge-nudge in her style. You know?
“Now, I happen to know he’s out there when he’s out there. This place isn’t very far from the woods, and he does come to town.”
Ms. Suzy, how can you know that? Come on!
“Because when he sneaks down our alley I freeze up! I can’t move, and I lose time! It must be infrasound!”
That sounds a lot like being asleep, Suzy! But very interesting anyhow…
“You’re just jealous because you don’t have an empathetic bone in your chonkiness !”
Maybe this program has gone on long enough! Toots, I want to be sure that you had time to tell anything you had to tell. Anything else?
“Um, if I could just get outside, there would be a lot more! I’d go down to the creek and find out who the heck is yelling down there. I’d show her a thing or two about yelling! That’s about all. Unless you want to hear about the Dogthing?”
Dogthing?
“Dogthing. Yes.”
What can you tell us about the Dogthing?
“Looks like a wolf hybrid. Walks like a man. Twice as tall as a man. Drools a lot. I’ve seen him, but I guess he was on his good behavior. He just walked on down the road. Your guess is as good as mine, Willie. What does he want? Dunno.”
If you think of anything else, Toots, be sure to contact me!
“You bet! But that’s all until next time, when there will be more!”
Willie signing off! But stay tuned for more later!
Tonight I have the privilege of talking to two witnesses. Toots is in Texas, and Suzy is in Washington State. Both have fur raising experiences to report.
First, I have a question for Toots. Since this is a new channel and we don’t get many listeners, yet, can you explain to the listeners just exactly what is meant by the term “Booger?”
“Sure, Willie. I’m pretty surprised to have you being the host, but OK, I’ll go with it. A Booger is a creature who may or may not exist but probably shouldn’t. They come in different forms. They’re schitzy too. You never know!”
How about you, Suzy. Anything to add?
“Do I have to? I guess if Toots is doing it, I will. Booger is the word people us in crazy places far away from me! Usually it refers to what more enlightened people, or cats, call a Sasquatch. I guess they don’t know any Indigenous people, so they don’t use the right word.”
Yes, Toots?
“The word started in England in the form of bugger, where it meant an animal, usually a farm animal. Brits brought the word with them, and it morphed a little in sound and meaning. I could go on but should leave it at that.”
That’s great Toots. But today we want to hear about your experiences with these, um, Boogers, or whatever. How did this start for you?
“Well, it was a gradually dawning awareness. A few years ago I started to sense that something was not right outside my window. It was an intangible uneasiness. I began to feel like the situation required research. Hence, the window.”
What happens at the window, Toots?
“I keep watch! Whaddaya think, Willie?”
See anything interesting, Toots?
“I haven’t seen the big one, yet. But I know he’s out there. He transmits a pretty darn loud signal. I think we get our waves crossed sometimes. I’m not sure if I’m afraid of him or not!”
Tell me more, Ms. Toots!
“OK, Willie, I will! I was at my usual post the other night, once the water had started to recede, just keeping watch, when suddenly a little gray tomcat appeared at my window. He and I were having a lively discussion, when something even worse showed up. I think it was hunting the young fool!”
What did that look like?
“I could hardly bear to look! It was twice the cat’s size. It had a great big boogly head with enormous yellow eyes with those goat pupils you know? Ewww! He had a long gray pigtail hanging to his feet, which were huge and flat as pancakes. To make things even worse, he was in a tight little spandex romper suit printed in a snakeskin pattern. He had a wooden flute which he played as if to hypnotize the big dumb kitten. Did I mention that his mouth was impossibly wide and full of sharp teeth?”
“Yeah, Willie! I screamed like a Banshee with Scorpion sauce up her nose until he beat it! I scared the little stinker away. The gray kitten took off in the other direction. Well, that woke my gentleman too, but he was able to go outside with a light and make sure nothing was wrong. I feel that I did my duty!”
I should say so! We are all proud of you! Now, Suzy, what would you like to report?
“Um, I just saw a green dog get out of a spaceship out in the alley one night. I really hadn’t expected that. He wasn’t scary. Just weird. I never could figure out what he wanted.”
Yeah, I remember that…. Anything else Ms. Suzy?
“Jaja! I’ve seen shape shifters all over the backyard! In broad daylight! They look like crows, but, man, they’re shapeshifters! I know it. They will eat anything! I know because the Boss here feeds them! Then there are shapeshifters who look just like squirrels. But I know the ravening beasts are not really squirrels!”
Are you sure, Suzy? Maybe they really are crows and squirrels!
“Nope, and the Bush Tits are no better. They travel in packs! Packs, I tell you! Horrible!”
Whoah! Intriguing! Unusual! For sure, Suzy!
“But I have more! The best or worst of all, depending. Some chick writes for the local paper about a Sasquatch character that she calls Ralph, as if he’s real but maybe not. There is some wink-wink, nudge-nudge in her style. You know?
“Now, I happen to know he’s out there when he’s out there. This place isn’t very far from the woods, and he does come to town.”
Ms. Suzy, how can you know that? Come on!
“Because when he sneaks down our alley I freeze up! I can’t move, and I lose time! It must be infrasound!”
That sounds a lot like being asleep, Suzy! But very interesting anyhow…
“You’re just jealous because you don’t have an empathetic bone in your chonkiness !”
Maybe this program has gone on long enough! Toots, I want to be sure that you had time to tell anything you had to tell. Anything else?
“Um, if I could just get outside, there would be a lot more! I’d go down to the creek and find out who the heck is yelling down there. I’d show her a thing or two about yelling! That’s about all. Unless you want to hear about the Dogthing?”
Dogthing?
“Dogthing. Yes.”
What can you tell us about the Dogthing?
“Looks like a wolf hybrid. Walks like a man. Twice as tall as a man. Drools a lot. I’ve seen him, but I guess he was on his good behavior. He just walked on down the road. Your guess is as good as mine, Willie. What does he want? Dunno.”
If you think of anything else, Toots, be sure to contact me!
“You bet! But that’s all until next time, when there will be more!”
Willie signing off! But stay tuned for more later!
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