An Urgent Matter

 

 
            Something had come up. It was time for a meeting.

            Suzy called up Toots, her best confidant, via KittyComm™...

            “I’ve been hearing an awful lot about Sasquatches lately,” said Suzy. “Videos every day. All kinds of different stuff. It’s hard to decide what to believe.”
            “Me too!” said Toots. “I hear the same stuff. They walk on two legs, most of the time. They have silky hair. They make a lot of noise!”
            “Yeah. You know that sounds a lot like You Know Who!” said Suzy.
            “Who?” said Toots.
            “Well. People. It sounds like people. We don’t walk on two feet, have long silky hair, and yell a lot, do we?” said Suzy. “Only, people, and Squatches, and birds walk on two feet.”
            “But Sasquatches are supposed to be dangerous. I mean, that’s why we keep watching out of windows at night. They might be out there,” said Toots.
            “But what are we watching for exactly, Toots? How can we tell if some walking thing is just a regular old boring human or a terrifying Sasquatch?” said Suzy.
            “Hm, let me think,” said Toots. “People don’t usually stink that much. Unless they haven’t changed their socks. Stink doesn’t tear your ears off, but it’s a sign.”
            “People talk a lot, but they don’t usually go around whooping like a steam engine. So if some biped comes down the street yakking like an auctioneer, it probably ain’t a Squatch,” said Suzy.
            “Right,” said Toots.
            “But, both of them could be quiet and sneaky!” said Suzy.
            “How can we decide who is dangerous and who is not?” said Toots. “People scare me all the time!”
            “They scare me too! Maybe the only thing we can do it watch em. Closely. And see what they do! Y’know? Like, no matter how hairy and huge and noisy it is, if it doesn’t make sudden lunges at one of us, it’s probably not dangerous, no matter what kind of biped it is!” Suzy said slowly as if experiencing a dawning realization.
            “Do you think that would work,” said Toots, somewhat incredulously.
            “I hate to say this, but that’s what Willie says. He might be right,” said Suzy.
            “Oh, no! He’s not right again?” implored Toots.
            “He might be. But let’s not tell him! OK?” said Suzy.
            “OK. Meow’s the word. Nuthin’ else!” said Toots.
            “You got it, Sweetie,” said Suzy.
            Toots left  her spot at the window, cutting the KittyComm™ connection.
            Suzy went about her business, leaving her spot at the sliding glass door.
            There is nothing funnier than a cat trying to look all casual.

Meow?