Kind of a Mutual Three Way Interview

 

            So, it was just a normal morning. I was tearing open a package of something, using my hands, like we do. I looked over and saw that Willie was watching me closely. I wondered what in the world he made of that, because there is no way he could do the same with even one of those wrapped tea bags. I wasn’t using my teeth. He could do that maybe and make a big mess of it. I wasn’t holding it down with a foot and ripping it open with my teeth. I suppose he could do that and make a big mess of it.

            So, I asked him.
            Hey, Willfred, I notice you are staring at me while I get into this package. What do you think about that?
            Well, I was wondering why your paws are so different from mine. Mine don’t work like that.
            I was born this way. In a way it doesn’t seem fair, does it?
            I was thinking that it would be really handy if I could open packages, or pull tabs on cans, or open bottle lids.
            Yeah. First we made tools, then we used them. In a way your claws are tools though! It’s almost like you were made with everything a cat needs onboard. Of course this goes back to what is the meaning and manner of a cat? What say you?
            This gets a little awkward. A cat living out of doors lives a cat life. We are apex predators in the sense that we hunt and eat the largest variety of creatures on earth. We small lions just do it on a small scale.
            But indoor cats are stuck in a bit of a quandary. We are still hunters, but we mostly have nothing to hunt. Oh, if a mouse manages to get in, we get him, or some big dumb bug. As you can see, it would be advantageous to us if we could open packages, or doors….as a matter of fact.
            You make it sound like a crazy mixed up world, Willie. We make you live indoors, but you’re not entirely equipped for it. And yet, we keep you from living where you are equipped for. But you know why, don’t you?
            Yeah. I do. You don’t want us to get eaten or smashed. It’s a tough room out there.
            OH! Hi, Suzy! Have you been back there all along?
            For a little while. I’m not sure it’s really your hands doing all that fancy stuff. I think it’s magic. You do lots of magic, all of the time. You make light come, and then you make light go! It’s actually creepy. You bring forth water from a pipe! Gotta be magic!
            You don’t hunt! I know you don’t. Food comes to the house. Magic!
            I wish you would teach me to do magic…
            I don’t know what to say, Suzy. It doesn’t seem very magical to me. I think it’s because we have thumbs and long fingers. Which are also tools, if you think about it. Just tools built for adaptability, apparently.
            Fancy talk, Lady! I think you’re holding out on me! And I know why! You don’t want me to be able to open that door! I rest my case.
            Well, Suze, you’re right about that much. I don’t want you to open that door! But I love you!
            I know. We love you too.
            I guess it’s just the way it is, huh? I don’t think you do magic, but you sure have fancy paws! And yeah, we love you too!
            God made you guys to be clever little hunters, and he put us in charge of welfare I guess. We needed thumbs for that. If you think about it, it works, guys. I do love you so!
 
 
            It came down to one of those affectionate stalemates you get into when discussing matters with cats. Sometimes you just have to reason with them a little bit.
 

 
Bold is me.
Italic is Willie
Plain is Suzy

😺🤍😸