Most days, after feeding her family, Ramona would gather
up the wooden bowls, spoons if used, and all her other implements, into her big
Home Depot five gallon bucket and head for the river. It didn’t matter what season
it was. Ramona was not overly impressed with weather. She was just as likely to
be out there with snow on the ground as during the sweetest April day.
She had Cherry tag along, to keep track of the child. Cherry just kind of floated beside her mother as she headed down the path to the pool where she washed things.
They made a charming sight. The sun glinted off of their shining hair, one darker, one light. Petals fell from wild cherry trees as they passed, bestowing a touch of glamour.
The river was full of melt-off. It was deeper than usual and swifter. Some of the boulders didn’t even show above its surface.
Ramona waded knee deep into the cold water. She scooped the bucket full of river water and then started doing her dishes, scrubbing with a brush made of folded stiff grass. She rinsed each piece in the running water, putting the clean things on a nearby boulder, then she dumped the dishwater in the river and put the clean things into the bucket.
She looked around for Cherry. She didn’t see her immediately. Finally, she located the little being playing just over the shining surface of the rushing water. She just opened her mouth to call, when she heard something. It was a strange buzzing sound coming closer very rapidly.
Coming upstream, from the city, there was one of those flying things with four little spinning propellers and some kind of machine above those. Ramona had dealt with one of these before, and she didn’t like this one any better. Plus, it was approaching Cherry.
Ramona was a good shot with a rock, as her people are likely to be, so she reached down into the water and grabbed a good big river pebble about the size of a cantaloupe. She drew back and pitched it at the drone, as we know it to be. She connected with it just feet from Cherry. It dropped like a rock into the river.
Well pleased, she called her daughter and turned around to go home.
Just as she was wading out of the water, someone came crashing out of the trees. It was Uncle Bob, running as fast as he could. His was not the elegant glide of Ralph or Ramona. He went at it like a buffalo. He was waving his arms and yelling something about dogs.
“What dogs,” thought Ramona. “What Forest Man runs from dogs anyhow?”
Uncle Bob ran right out into the river, and dove under the surface, and stayed there.
“He probably needs the bath anyhow,” thought Ramona, but she kept looking into the forest hoping to see what he had been so afraid of. Soon she did see it.
It did look roughly like a dog. But it was a machine. It walked implacably emitting a strange unsettling unnatural whirring sound. It must have been on Bob’s scent because it ran jerkily right to the edge of the river.
Ramona didn’t like this thing either. Its intentions were obviously hostile to a friend of hers.
While it was sniffing the rocks and sand at the water’s edge Ramona stepped over behind it and grabbed a hind leg. She gave a little tug, testing its strength. It wasn't all that well attached. She laughed and pulled the leg off of the thing’s body. It tried to focus on Ramona then but couldn’t really get into position. Ramona dropped the hind leg, grabbed a front leg and pulled it off as well. A lot of stringy stuff came away with it. It smelled evil. It disgusted her. Its radio parts were chattering away. She had a sense that it might be calling others of its kind. She didn’t want to put any more junk into the river. So she dragged it up onto the riverbank and crushed it with a rock the size of a laundry basket. After making sure that it would never communicate again, she piled all of its pieces together and built a cairn over it. For a moment she thought of Ranger Rick and what he might say if he ever found it. There would be mention of pollution and leaving trash around!
When Uncle Bob saw that the coast was clear, he crawled out of the water. Ramona said, “where did you find that thing”
“It woke me up! I could hear it outside my stump making that weird noise, Ramona! When I came out to see, it pointed something at me! I freaked and ran!” shouted Uncle Bob. Standing there dripping, he looked pretty helpless.
“Aw, Bob, OK. Let’s go talk to Ralph. Maybe he can figure out what to do about all of this,” she said.
“Alright! I’ll carry your bucket,” said Uncle Bob. And he did, proudly.
So, shining, fierce Ramona, little luftkind, Cherry, and silly saggy old Bob headed back to the Home Clearing to tell Ralph the story. Just like in the fables and fairytales, they were off to confer with the king, for he would surely know what to do. He was wise and kind and very resourceful!
They were in for quite a surprise when they popped out of the trees.
Ralph was there, alright! And he had one of those mechanical dogs right there in the Home Clearing. It was playing electro-swing music and dancing on its hind legs. Ramona just gaped.
“What in the world, Ralph? I just killed one of those things down at the river! It was chasing Uncle Bob!” said Ramona. "Where did this one come from?"
She had Cherry tag along, to keep track of the child. Cherry just kind of floated beside her mother as she headed down the path to the pool where she washed things.
They made a charming sight. The sun glinted off of their shining hair, one darker, one light. Petals fell from wild cherry trees as they passed, bestowing a touch of glamour.
The river was full of melt-off. It was deeper than usual and swifter. Some of the boulders didn’t even show above its surface.
Ramona waded knee deep into the cold water. She scooped the bucket full of river water and then started doing her dishes, scrubbing with a brush made of folded stiff grass. She rinsed each piece in the running water, putting the clean things on a nearby boulder, then she dumped the dishwater in the river and put the clean things into the bucket.
She looked around for Cherry. She didn’t see her immediately. Finally, she located the little being playing just over the shining surface of the rushing water. She just opened her mouth to call, when she heard something. It was a strange buzzing sound coming closer very rapidly.
Coming upstream, from the city, there was one of those flying things with four little spinning propellers and some kind of machine above those. Ramona had dealt with one of these before, and she didn’t like this one any better. Plus, it was approaching Cherry.
Ramona was a good shot with a rock, as her people are likely to be, so she reached down into the water and grabbed a good big river pebble about the size of a cantaloupe. She drew back and pitched it at the drone, as we know it to be. She connected with it just feet from Cherry. It dropped like a rock into the river.
Well pleased, she called her daughter and turned around to go home.
Just as she was wading out of the water, someone came crashing out of the trees. It was Uncle Bob, running as fast as he could. His was not the elegant glide of Ralph or Ramona. He went at it like a buffalo. He was waving his arms and yelling something about dogs.
“What dogs,” thought Ramona. “What Forest Man runs from dogs anyhow?”
Uncle Bob ran right out into the river, and dove under the surface, and stayed there.
“He probably needs the bath anyhow,” thought Ramona, but she kept looking into the forest hoping to see what he had been so afraid of. Soon she did see it.
It did look roughly like a dog. But it was a machine. It walked implacably emitting a strange unsettling unnatural whirring sound. It must have been on Bob’s scent because it ran jerkily right to the edge of the river.
Ramona didn’t like this thing either. Its intentions were obviously hostile to a friend of hers.
While it was sniffing the rocks and sand at the water’s edge Ramona stepped over behind it and grabbed a hind leg. She gave a little tug, testing its strength. It wasn't all that well attached. She laughed and pulled the leg off of the thing’s body. It tried to focus on Ramona then but couldn’t really get into position. Ramona dropped the hind leg, grabbed a front leg and pulled it off as well. A lot of stringy stuff came away with it. It smelled evil. It disgusted her. Its radio parts were chattering away. She had a sense that it might be calling others of its kind. She didn’t want to put any more junk into the river. So she dragged it up onto the riverbank and crushed it with a rock the size of a laundry basket. After making sure that it would never communicate again, she piled all of its pieces together and built a cairn over it. For a moment she thought of Ranger Rick and what he might say if he ever found it. There would be mention of pollution and leaving trash around!
When Uncle Bob saw that the coast was clear, he crawled out of the water. Ramona said, “where did you find that thing”
“It woke me up! I could hear it outside my stump making that weird noise, Ramona! When I came out to see, it pointed something at me! I freaked and ran!” shouted Uncle Bob. Standing there dripping, he looked pretty helpless.
“Aw, Bob, OK. Let’s go talk to Ralph. Maybe he can figure out what to do about all of this,” she said.
“Alright! I’ll carry your bucket,” said Uncle Bob. And he did, proudly.
So, shining, fierce Ramona, little luftkind, Cherry, and silly saggy old Bob headed back to the Home Clearing to tell Ralph the story. Just like in the fables and fairytales, they were off to confer with the king, for he would surely know what to do. He was wise and kind and very resourceful!
They were in for quite a surprise when they popped out of the trees.
Ralph was there, alright! And he had one of those mechanical dogs right there in the Home Clearing. It was playing electro-swing music and dancing on its hind legs. Ramona just gaped.
“What in the world, Ralph? I just killed one of those things down at the river! It was chasing Uncle Bob!” said Ramona. "Where did this one come from?"
"Oh, pfft, it just wandered in here sniffing around," said Ralph.
“They’re dangerous!” said Ramona. “I broke it and buried it under rocks, Ralph!”
The music stopped and the thing settled down into its resting position, legs folded.
“Oh, hi Mona,” said Ralph. “I don’t know what was going on with the other one, maybe it wasn’t really chasing Bob, maybe it was following him. They do look for direction. But this one is just as dead as the one you mashed.”
“I don’t understand,” said Ramona.
“It’s simple, really,” said Ralph.
“How, Baby?” said Ramona.
“I asked it a question it couldn’t answer, and it broke the connection to whoever sent it here,” said Ralph. I overwhelmed its programming! Now it obeys me! So I told it to play some music and dance. Cool huh?”
“What question,” asked Ramona.
“I said, ‘who made your maker, and who made the sky blue and the grass green?’ That’s all it took,” said Ralph. “It just stood there shaking at first, then quit. So I started giving it commands. I am getting tired of it now though.”
The children and Uncle Bob sat by the dying fire, well out of the way, just watching the action.
“Can you make it go away and forget about us?” said Ramona.
“Sure thing,” said Ralph. Then he bent down and whispered to the machine dog.
It whirred up to its feet and slowly walked with stiff steps down the path that no one used much, heading for the parking lot and then to the city.
“What did you say, Ralph?” whispered Ramona.
“I said, ‘you found no one at all in the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest. Go back to the city. You must play music and dance there as long as you may,” said Ralph.
“Thanks, Baby. I don’t like those things,” said Ramona, finally smiling at him.
“I know! And your great love makes you a mother warrior! Your strength adorns you, Mona!” said Ralph.
Satisfied, she turned to her fire, building it up again for the evening. Soon it would be time for dinner.
The mechanical dog wandered the city playing electro-swing, and dancing, until its circuits fried. And then it danced no more.
“They’re dangerous!” said Ramona. “I broke it and buried it under rocks, Ralph!”
The music stopped and the thing settled down into its resting position, legs folded.
“Oh, hi Mona,” said Ralph. “I don’t know what was going on with the other one, maybe it wasn’t really chasing Bob, maybe it was following him. They do look for direction. But this one is just as dead as the one you mashed.”
“I don’t understand,” said Ramona.
“It’s simple, really,” said Ralph.
“How, Baby?” said Ramona.
“I asked it a question it couldn’t answer, and it broke the connection to whoever sent it here,” said Ralph. I overwhelmed its programming! Now it obeys me! So I told it to play some music and dance. Cool huh?”
“What question,” asked Ramona.
“I said, ‘who made your maker, and who made the sky blue and the grass green?’ That’s all it took,” said Ralph. “It just stood there shaking at first, then quit. So I started giving it commands. I am getting tired of it now though.”
The children and Uncle Bob sat by the dying fire, well out of the way, just watching the action.
“Can you make it go away and forget about us?” said Ramona.
“Sure thing,” said Ralph. Then he bent down and whispered to the machine dog.
It whirred up to its feet and slowly walked with stiff steps down the path that no one used much, heading for the parking lot and then to the city.
“What did you say, Ralph?” whispered Ramona.
“I said, ‘you found no one at all in the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest. Go back to the city. You must play music and dance there as long as you may,” said Ralph.
“Thanks, Baby. I don’t like those things,” said Ramona, finally smiling at him.
“I know! And your great love makes you a mother warrior! Your strength adorns you, Mona!” said Ralph.
Satisfied, she turned to her fire, building it up again for the evening. Soon it would be time for dinner.
The mechanical dog wandered the city playing electro-swing, and dancing, until its circuits fried. And then it danced no more.
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