One Way Or The Other As Usual

 

 

          Dr. Geoff was sitting on an old style oaken office or library chair.  He was alone on stage. Oh, except for the one light shining toward him at a nice artistic angle.  He looked serious, kind, and academic.

          He put his hands on his blue-jeaned knees and looked intently out toward the audience. He didn’t know for sure if there was any audience, but there was that possibility. He smiled a measured, kindly smile, as if to encourage participation of a scholarly nature. But anyone could see that he would not smile upon unproven nonsense.

          When he looked to stage right, he noticed suddenly that there was another chair just like his. It was about a dozen feet from his own chair, facing the audience. He nodded in approval. But then a slight frown marred his brow. There seemed to be a very large, even brutal looking, form seated haphazardly on the other oaken chair. Dr. Geoff sat forward, attempting to better see who was there.

          What he saw was an enormous beast. It was perhaps eight feet tall and weighed many hundreds of pounds.  It had a pelt of deep brown fur, perhaps six inches long. So deeply set were the eyes, the Dr. Geoff couldn’t make them out in the dark face. He sat back in his chair, one eyebrow somewhat elevated. He did not express approval then.

          Dr. Geoff noticed a strong odor of some feral funk, mixed with perhaps a scent of decay. He looked out toward the “audience” wondering if anyone else was aware of the stench filling his own experience. He crossed his arms over his chest.  Then he took a discreet peek at his phone. He frowned at the screen and put it away again.

          When he looked over at the other chair again, it seemed to him that the animal had taken a more normal posture in the chair, sitting rather like a man might, though this figure was much larger than a man. One of its paws was up by its chin and it seemed to be looking right back at the doctor. Dr. Geoff wasn’t used to being closely observed in this manner by a wild animal of any kind, let alone a very large and possibly dangerous one.

          He began to notice a plantlike note to the odor filling the stage. It was like crushed ferns and some other smell that he didn’t recognize, perhaps just the smell of disturbed earth. On top of that, the stage environment had changed a little. It was hard to see what exactly was different though. But there was some kind of brushy business going on all around the seated figure opposite the doctor, things that he hadn’t noticed before.

          He thought he heard some sort of vocalization from the other chair. A heavy huffing sound, surely not laughter? Could the beast be giggling? Animals don’t giggle, he assured himself. He had never read of animals giggling in any journal, anywhere.

          The doctor rose from his chair to get a closer look at the animal. The first thing he noticed stage right, was a lot of vegetation all over the floor, but it wasn’t like a normal floor. It was soft and yielding. The smell was stronger, but more pleasant and woodsy actually.  There was no other chair.  He wondered why he had thought there was another chair. 

          The very large figure was sitting on what appeared to be a fallen cedar log of huge size.  An inquisitive looking Raven sat on the creature’s left shoulder. This was absolutely not possible thought Dr. Geoff.  We were just on stage in front of an audience of silent watchers, he said to himself in astonishment. Stunned, he took a few more steps. He stumbled a bit like he was crossing an unseen threshold.

          The stage disappeared behind Dr. Geoff like a door had closed silently.  Gentle light filled the forest clearing where the log lay. Lazy insect life shone in the sunlight and then disappeared in shadows. Round and round they flew. An unmistakable scent of resin and mold filled his scholarly nose. It was warm and drowsy there, dreamlike, but very solid too. The doctor could hear distant bird calls.

          “There’s lots of room up here on the log,” said the huge figure, with an encouraging smile and a wink. “Why don’t you hop up here and we’ll spin a yarn or two and get to know each other,” said Ralph, the most amiable of hosts in the Baker National Forest.

          Speechless, but agreeably, the doctor made an athletic backward leap up onto Ralph’s cedar log. He looked around, taking careful note of everything. This was going to change everything, everything, he thought to himself, all of it. To the doctor’s credit he seemed to be more pleased than anything else he might have been in this situation.

          “When it gets a little later we can go see what Ramona has been making for dinner, we can sit around the fire and talk all night and you can meet the kid.  By the way, I have some beers tucked away down under this log where it’s cool.  Like a beer, doctor?” inquired Ralph. “In fact, I have some cigars too! Do you like a cigar, doctor?”

          “I like a cigar once in a while,” grinned Ralph. “They’re Cubans!”

          “Well, yes, I think I would like that,” said Geoff.  “Say, what did you say your name was?”

          “It’s Ralph. Didn’t start out that way, but it got that way!” Ralph shook his head in amazement and patted the doctor on the back with his large hand.

          “When it gets real late, I’ll show ya how to dance yourself home Geoff. It’ll be okay.”