A Very Likely Story

conundrum (n.)
1590s, an abusive term for a person, perhaps meaning "a pedant;" c. 1600, "a whim;" 1640s, "pun or word-play," a word of unknown origin, said in 17c. to be Oxford University slang. Perhaps the sort of ponderous mock-Latin word that was once the height of humor in learned circles; Skeat suggests Latin conandrum "a thing to be attempted" as the source. Also spelled quonundrum.

From 1745 as "a riddle in which some odd resemblance is proposed between things quite unlike, the answer often involving a pun."

 

          “I saw it again,” said Suzy, partially concealed behind a bag of recycling. “Something was out there last night and it's there right now right out in front of everybody.” Her green eyes glowed back in her shadowy shelter.  Her tail stuck straight up! Except for her eyes, she looked like a dusty little shadow herself, with a grey and mottled tabby coat that blended into dark corners well.

          “That’s a bush,” said Willie, squinting out into the backyard.

          “It wasn’t there yesterday Willie. Also, it moves,” Suzy whispered.

          “You’re trippin’ baby sister!” chortled Mr. W. “Is it the big Ooogabooga Hairy Dood again? I thought you two were buddies now?”

          Suzy stared hard at her brother from her hiding spot. “No. Not him. Just look. See right by that little garden thing! You know, that box they put out there.”

          “I see a large Zucchini bush,” said Will. “Also, a lot of tall weeds and onion plants.”

          “It’s a dog,” Suzy said, with conviction. “It’s a green dog. I think that UFO that was in the backyard left it here last night. I saw it. It landed out behind the Element. A flap on the side opened and the dog came out.”

          Willie strolled carefully out to the kitchen corner where food and water arrive magically and had a nice long drink of water while he was thinking about it. Finally, he thought of an angle and slipped back out to the porch.

          “Look, Suze, when we don’t get enough sleep, sometimes we see things that aren’t really there. They can seem really real,” mused the affectionate brother. “You can do a kind of awake-dreaming thing!!”

          “Tell me more about this UFO, Suzy. Maybe then you will realize that it was some kind of dream.” He loaf-crouched near Suzy, just to be encouraging.

          “Are you making fun of me again Willie?” she asked a bit wistfully.

          “No, no. I just think we can talk our way through this thing and you can go take a long nap on the back of the sofa where the sun shines in so hot,” said he.

          “OK. But this is serious. It could really be horribly dangerous!” said Suze.

          “Alright.  I’m ready. Spill it!”

          “Well, I was hunting because I heard one of those noises out here on the porch and I happened to look outside. The garage light across the alley came on and I saw a big, long silver thing floating down the alley from north to south.  It didn’t make any sound at all!  It looked like a big foil wrapped sausage, Willie!  I was so scared! I couldn’t even move!

          “It stopped behind the car and just floated there for a while. Then the side opened, and this dog hopped out.  I didn’t know he was green until the sun came up. You know at night all cats are grey, and so are dogs! What if he comes back to get his dog? I don’t know if that’s good or bad…”

          “Well. Think about this Suzeleh dear. Maybe, even if there is a green dog out there it’s not our problem. Has the green dog hurt you in any way?”

          “Not yet.” She yawned. “But it scares me!” She blinked and kept yawning. Then she wandered off to the front of the house and probably her favorite roosting spot where the sun shines in so hot.

          Willie took her place. He watched out the glass doors as cats will naturally do. He began to get a little drowsy too, but he was so awake. He knew he was awake.

          As he looked, a long silver shape floated up the alley from the south emitting no sound at all. No one seemed to notice it either, not that they were staring into the alley like a cat does. It wafted along about two feet above the asphalt, then stopped right behind the house.

          A hatch rolled open on the side facing the house. A little guy in pale blue coveralls, little like a four year old, with blond hair stuck his head out of the opening and whistled. The green dog came out from behind the Zucchini bush, trotted past the car and leapt into the shiny suspended vehicle. The little man patted the dog’s head and disappeared inside.  The covering rolled back down, and the side looked as smooth as if there had never been an opening.

          It lifted softly and silently into the peaceful blue and wispily clouded sky, becoming smaller and smaller until it vanished entirely.

          “Well, I’ll be a talking frog on the Fourth of July!” said Willie to himself. “I wonder what that was all about?”

          He looked out the window for a long time. He was just thinking.

          Willie had never expected to see a green dog. Hardly anyone does.

          He decided to never tell Suzy what he had seen after she went to bed.

Which is probably just as well!

The End

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