LATEST RELEASE... 2/19/26... The Forest is Forever: No. 3 in The Collected Ralph Stories

Tuesday, October 6, 2026

No Regrets

 


            “Thanks, Baby,” said Ramona after Jim was well out of earshot. “I sure didn’t want to deal with anything that big. What would I do with all of that? Call the clans and have a party? And now, I know his name!”
            “I don’t think we’ve eaten any creature with a name,” said Ralph. “I was just testing him you know? Kinda teasing him.”
            “I sure hope he stays out of trouble,” Ramona said thoughtfully.
            Ralph laughed. “Well, there’s always a first time!”
            “Eww!” said Ramona. But she was laughing too. “I wonder what he is doing right now?”
            “Do you think I should go check on him?” said Ralph. “I’d like to think that he is eating grass and shoving some firewood over.”
            Bob and Suzy had had left to go check on their Stump House a while before, to make sure Jim was minding his manners around their place. Ramona made coffee after she scraped the fish scraps into the fire and dumped the bowls into her bucket to wait for a trip to the river.
            “I’ll just fly up there, be right back,” said Maeve. “You’ll know soon enough.” So, she took off in the direction of the lower meadow where Bob and Suzy live. True to her word, in just a few hundred wing-flaps, she was back.
            “He’s up there alright, Boss,” she said after settling down.
            “OK, good, Birdie. What’s the rest of it?” said Ralph. “It sounds like there is more.”
            “He’s singing. I know how crazy that sounds, but I heard him!” she said.
            “Could you hear the words?” said Ramona. She looked pretty amazed at the prospect of Jim singing at Bob and Suzy's Stump House.
            “Not sure. There was something about his big hard head, and some grunting and snuffling. He was parked by the Stump House. Just sitting there and singing. I don’t know what to make of it, Boss!”
            “Maybe I better go up there after all,” considered Ralph. “Any of you ladies want to come along?”
            Ramona shook her head no. “I think Cherry and I will go visit the Bunnies, and take this bucket of bowls to the river. You and Maeve can go see what’s going on up there. Then, when it’s over, come and tell us about it.”
            “I’ll go,” agreed Maeve.
            So, Ralph kissed Ramona and Cherry, ruffled Blue’s head, and with his bird on board, set out for the Stump House. He was whistling a little soft tune while he walked. If he had had pockets his hands would have been in his pockets. No hurry, just curious.
            His log looked fine, very inviting, but he was on a mission.
            The sky looked like it might snow soon, he observed. It gave everything that white opaque look it gets before a snowfall. In the meadow, the dry winter grass was brown with some frozen snow crusting it, and a path was beaten into it leading directly to the Stump House.
            True to Maeve’s word, Jim was sitting at Suzy’s fire opposite Suzy. He looked like a mountain of dark brown fur, but his eyes were open and he was listening to Uncle Bob who sat beside him.
            “Hi, Ralphie! Guess what?” said Bob.
            As he strolled up, Ralph said, “Tell me, Bob!”
            “Jim likes to sing! And he sounds pretty good,” said Bob.
            “Basso profundo,” said Suzy. “Sounds nice with Bob’s tenor.”
            “We could use some harmonica, but Maurice isn’t around,” said Bob. “So, it’s just us.”
            Some snowflakes fell out of the sky.
            “You’re pretty good with lyrics, Bob.”
             “What have you been singing about, Jim?” said Ralph. Jim’s intense small eyes surrounded by dark fur and surmounted by his truly impressive horns, turned to Ralph.
            “About using my big head for thinking, mostly,” said Jim. “Bob is helping me. I’m sorry I banged on his house and scared Suzy. She’s pretty nice.”
            Suzy gave Ralph a look. Her eyebrows were up as far up as they could get. Ralph grinned back at her. Some snow fell between them. The flakes evaporated over Suzy’s fire.
            “What are you guys working on?” said Ralph.
            “This is just our first idea, Ralphie. It’s going to be called Big Hard Head Restoration Blues,” said Bob, as Jim nodded.
            “That was quick! How long have you guys been buddies?” Ralph laughed. “Do you have lyrics yet?”
            “A few lines,” said Bob. And as the snowfall thickened, he began to sing, and Jim kind of mumbled along.
                        I am sorry that I did it.
                        It wasn’t very nice.
                        My head is big and hard,
                        I didn’t think twice.
                        I hit problems like a hammer.
                        With my big hard head!
                        I was a fool running,
                        With a problem slammer!
 
            “We’ll keep working on it, Ralphie,” said Bob. “We’ll do some stuff about how he got here and what he’s going to do now.”
            “Man, Bob, I think I see another concert coming up in the spring!” said Ralph. “Maybe that Tim guy will come back with his guitar? That would be cool!”
            “I wish Maurice would come back!” said Bob. “He’s the one with concert experience. Not me!”
            “What’s a concert?”  said Jim. Snowflakes like constellations of tiny stars bedecked his head. His breath rose in little puffs. He began to rise too. First his backend went up as he straightened his back legs, then the front legs, until all of him was standing there.
            “It’s a bunch of people watching some other people make music for them,” said Ralph.
            “Oh. Can we go push some dead trees over now?” said Jim.
            “We can always go push some dead trees over, Jim,” said Ralph. “Firekeepers always need more firewood!”
            “What’s a firekeeper,” said Jim, still humming away.
            “Ah, the lady who keeps the fire burning, the center, Ramona or Suzy, Jim.”
            Jim nodded his big head. The idea must have struck home.
            “You want to come, Bob,” said Ralph.
            “Sure!” said Bob.
            Snow fell heavier and heavier, as the boys ranged out to search for a dead tree or two.   Maeve flew back to Ramona to carry the news home.
            “Evermore,” she remarked to the sky and the snow, and the Forest below.

💙❄️💙

Monday, October 5, 2026

An Afternoon Chat with The Scouts

 


 
            It was just a regular early fall day in Milltown. I wasn’t doing much, so I was lounging around with the Bengal Scouts. Sometimes we just do that. Nobody has much to say, just kinda being there. Suzy used to take part in these little meetings, but not lately. In fact, Mr. Baby used to be there with us, but he’s visiting right now, and having a grand time, I might say.
            “Anything remarkable to report, boys?” I began. I knew what I was thinking about, but I was waiting to see if they would mention it.
            “I really gave you the slip today,” said Sweetie, proudly.
            “Mhm! Refresh my memory, Sweetie,” I said.
            “I dove into the bottom of the fridge, and you didn’t see me!” he giggled.
            “How did that work out for you?” I asked him.
            “I started hearing all this meowing and banging stuff around,” said Booker. “I knew it was him, but I thought maybe he was stuck under the fridge. I looked and looked, flat on my belly and I couldn’t see him!”
            “Yeah, I heard that too. I thought it might be a huge rat! Or maybe a sneaky cat,” I said.
            “I was afraid I would be stuck in there forever! So, I yelled and yelled,” said Sweetie.
            “It’s a good thing I didn’t leave the house, or something!” I said. “You would have been really cold, and Booker couldn’t let you out!”
            “It seemed pretty funny at first,” said Sweetie.
            “Yeah, it’s funny until it’s not,” I reminded him a little seriously. “I love you too much to have anything bad happen to you, you know!
            “Anything else?”
            “We think Suzy should come out and run with us, but she won’t,” said Booker. “She used to play with us!”
            “She’s always been super Cautious™, boys! It was all fun and games, until you got so big! Now she thinks you might run right over her, or maybe eat her. I don’t know.”
            I knew she was listening to the conversation. The desk isn’t that far away.
            “Suzy?”
            “I’m not coming out,” the little voice said.
            “Chicken!” yelled Sweetie.
            “Yeah!” said Booker.
            “Toots said they would grow up some day and stop chasing me. I’ll wait,” said Suzy.
            So, apparently, it’s a stalemate. Time will tell. I know the Scouts mean well, but are very enthusiastic in the chase. I guess, we’ll have to wait, like Suzy, to see how it all settles out. Meanwhile, we make adjustments, and carry on!
            And this is another, slightly augmented, Open Thread. Surprise!

💚😸😺😻💚

Sunday, October 4, 2026

A Big Hard Head

 
Jim

            Something was hitting the Stump House hard!
            About the third time, Aunt Suzy woke up. She reached over to where Uncle Bob was lying flat on his back and snoring. She shook his shoulder, saying, “Wake up, Bob!”
            His eyes flew open. He heard the fourth big whack on the side of the Stump House.
            “What? Is it an earthquake, Suzy?”
            “I don’t think earthquakes act like that,” said Suzy. “Will you go out and see what it is? I’m afraid!”
            “OK,” said Bob, hesitantly.
            He climbed slowly out of bed. There was a fifth big hard thump. Then, Bob bravely left Suzy sitting up with wide open eyes, and went outside to see what was going on.
            In the grey light of dawn, what Bob saw was a great huge animal, something like a monster bull with a hump and an enormous head with horns backing off and getting ready to hit the Stump House a sixth time.
            “Hey!” said Bob, resolutely.
            “What?” said the beast.
            “Why are you doing that?” said Bob, “And who are you?”
            “My name is Jim and I have a big hard head,” said Jim.
            “We were sleeping in there!” protested Uncle Bob.
            “We? You got a mouse in your pocket?” said Jim.
            Poor Bob. That kind of threw him for a second. “I don’t have a pocket or a mouse.”
            “How did you get here? I’ve never seen you around here,” said Bob.
            “I’m lost, and I have a big hard head. Usually, I can solve a problem by hitting it with my head until it runs away or I figure out what it is,” said Jim.
            “Where are you supposed to be?”
            “It was a grassy hill with fruit trees. Somebody didn’t shut the gate, so I left and here I am. I thought if I rammed this here stump some kind of answer might appear, but it’s just you.”
            “I’m Bob,” said Bob.
            “I’m still lost,” said Jim.
            About then Suzy got too curious to stay inside. The thumps had stopped, but Bob had not returned. She poked her head out, and then came all the way out.       
            “Bob, what is it?”
            “This guy, Jim. He’s lost, and he has a big hard head that likes to hit things,” said Bob.
            “I can see he has a big hard head. Maybe we should take him to Ralph, and he can help him somehow,” said Aunt Suzy, hopefully.
            “Will you come with us to see Ralph?” said Bob.
            “Who’s Ralph. Has he got the biggest head around here?” said Jim, truculently.
            “Yes. He does,” said Suzy, by way of instigation.     
            “Alright,” said Jim. “I want to see his head!”
            The sun was starting to come up, patches of snow still lay in shadows in the meadow as Bob and Suzy accompanied by Jim took the familiar path through the Forest and into the Home Clearing. As they got near, they could see Ramona stoking her fire, preparing to cook something for Ralph’s and Cherry’s breakfast, not to mention Blue, Bob, and Berry.
            When she saw them, she stopped moving and just stood there looking, eyebrows up.
            “He wants to see Ralph,” said Bob.
            “Well, Ralph’s still asleep in the cave,” said Ramona. “I can go get him.”
            “I could hit that door until he comes out,” said Jim, with the whites of his eyes showing.
            But of course, Ralph had heard the ruckus and opened the door himself and came out to see what in the world was going on.
            “My head is bigger than his!” yelled Jim.
            “Whoa! What’s the problem here?” said Ralph. He was still yawning.
            “I’m lost. My name is Jim, and I have a big hard head. These two said you might be able to help,”
            “What do you want in life, Jim?” said Ralph.
            “Grass and water. No fences. That’s about it,” said Jim.
            “Ah! You want to roam! And graze of course,” said Ralph.
            “He was raring back and hitting the Stump House with his big hard head. It woke us up!” said Suzy. “Bob thought it was an earthquake. That bad!”
            “That was pretty rude, Jim,” said Ralph. Ramona nodded vigorously.
            “I didn’t know what else to do. That usually works,” said Jim.
            “You look pretty good to eat. You could hang around and be nice, or we could eat you. What do you think about that?” asked Ralph, grinning a little behind a hand.
            “Aw, come on!” said Jim. “You don’t gotta do that do you?”
            “That’s kind of up to you,” said Ralph. “You could hang out in the meadow and eat grass with no fences anywhere around, or we could eat you!”
            “You mean I have to figure this out myself?” said Jim.
            “Up to you,” said Ralph.
            Jim closed his eyes and breathed heavily for a long moment. Everybody waited to see what he would come up with.
            Maeve came to the party about then and settled on Ralph’s shoulder. She didn’t utter a sound. Seconds ticked by, but of course that’s a foreign concept for the parties involved.
            “OK. I’ll roam here with the deer, and be nice,” said Jim. “You don’t have to eat me.”
            “Maybe you could help me and Bob here knock down dead trees for firewood,” said Ralph.
            “That sounds like fun!” said Jim.
            “Great! Why don’t you head on back up into the meadow, help yourself to the grass and start hanging around?” said Ralph. 
            “I believe I will. Your head isn’t as big as mine, but it works good,” said Jim.
            Then Ramona invited Bob and Suzy to stay for breakfast. Cherry and Blue came out of the cave where she had been lurking and listening to the discussion. Bob and Berry came out to see last of all.
            Ramona cooked the fish she had been cleaning before Bob and Suzy and Jim appeared.
            Jim ambled off, heading for the meadow with his tail swinging back and forth.

🍁🦬🍁

Saturday, October 3, 2026

The Days of Pumpkin Spice are Drawing Nigh!

 


It’s still early days, but you know it’s coming!
Pumpkin Spice latte’. Pumpkin Spice waffles…etc. It gets worse as the month of silliness continues.
I expect to see Pumpkin Spice used cars! Insurance! Mortgages! Weddings!
Maybe I shouldn’t put those ideas out in the air! Can you imagine a Pumpkin Spice wedding? I can. But I really shouldn't.
We all love the pie, goodness knows. But only if made at home in an actual human kitchen. We take a dim view of the Safeway stuff. It looks OK, but can you really be sure?
Even made with sweet potatoes, it’s great stuff. Seems like a historical type of flavor from the early years of this country. It might even have something to do with Indian cookery. Not sure. But I know that early Americans did learn some cookery from the people already here, and dealing with unfamiliar foods, such as corn, meaning maize.
            Maybe this whole thing is a warm up for Thanksgiving!
            What say you?




Friday, October 2, 2026

Thursday, October 1, 2026

An Odd Way of Looking at Things

 

 


            It was early winter in the Forest. Snow came sometimes, and sometimes it melted away. Ramona never knew for sure what she would find when she opened up the green door to face the dawn.
            This particular morning could only be described as bleak, if you went by human sensibilities. It was dark. It was cold. Everything was wet. Melting snow lay in little lumps, appearing ghostly in the dimness.
            She said her morning praises while she fed the fire some dry, but outwardly soggy, branches. She was thinking on what to make for the rest when they woke. She had flour and a few eggs, so she decided to make a bunch of pancakes. She didn’t have anything sweet to go on them, but no problem. They would just roll them up in their fingers and eat them.
            She went back inside to gather supplies.
            When Ramona came back out, a weak gray sunrise was beginning. That was exactly as expected on such a day. She glanced around, as she normally would. But then she stopped and tried to focus on an area just beyond the fire. She shook her head and squinted. Something was really off, or else she was losing her ability to see, but in just one part of her field of vision. She knew that wasn’t likely. That’s not how blindness works.
            There was an area before Ramona where nothing existed. It wasn’t like a wavy vision, like wet glass, it didn’t twinkle or anything like that. It wasn’t a portal. She knew about those. It was just Not There. Later, she had a heck of a time explaining how that could be. It was like something had taken a bite out of the world and left nothing behind. It didn’t exactly look funny; it didn’t look at all!
            She put down her stuff on her little work area, because she was going to go over there to be sure she wasn’t dreaming or something.
            Some wind came up right then, making a sad moaning sound as it blew through her world.
            When she got close to the strange area, she felt like she was subtly tipping toward it. Like the unreal place, the non-existence of it had a pull of some kind. She found that anything she focused on outside of this non-existence slipped into the same condition.
            It made no noise, no ominous hum. It just wasn’t there.
            She picked up a handful of wet forest floor and threw it toward the not-there. The potential here was not lost on Ramona. She thought of her family, and everything she loved falling into the non-existence.
            The wind made such a fuss blowing against the cave door, that the racket woke Ralph. He threw an arm across the bed, and found that Ramona must be out in the wind. That was normal, but something seemed wrong this particular morning.
            Alarm filled his heart.
            “Where is she?” went through his mind, as he left the cave, closing the door behind himself.        
            Outside, he found Ramona standing looking at the Nothing as if entranced by it, or maybe just trying to work it into her understanding, but leaning toward it.
            “Mona, turn around,” Ralph said.
            She did, giving him a strange vacant look.
            “No,” he said. Something changed.
            The wind quieted down, watching, listening.
            “Baby?” she said, seeming to wake up.
            “Stand behind me, Mona!” said Ralph. “I won’t have it!”
            She walked behind him, and clung to him, her face pressed into his back.
            “This came from below. I won’t have it here!” he said.
            “What will you do?” she whispered.
            “Wait for me, Mona. I will return. Go inside and wait for me,” said Ralph. He gently removed her hands from his body and kissed her. Then, facing the Nothing, he stepped into it and was gone as if there had never been such a person, as if reality collapsed on the memory of Ralph.
            But Ramona did remember her true love, and she obeyed him. She went back inside and lay down, and began to wait.
            Into that dark place below all, Ralph fell. It was the same vacancy that had trapped Cherry, Sky, the lost young man whom he had rescued, and many others. All the sorrows that ever were seemed to press down on him there. The darkness, the absence of light, was absolute.
            He began to sing. He sang of light. He addressed the Power that he served. And there was light. With that light came existence.
            The Nothing fled before his voice and his knowledge.
            He sang of life. He sang for the love of life. Tears ran down his beard, and yet they were tears of great joy. His voice rolled and rolled, and the sound was like choirs and thunder at the same time.
            At last, he laughed.
            He was home, and all was well. The clouds rolled away, in celebration. The sun began to shine down into the Clearing.
            Ralph slipped into the cave, where Ramona waited for him. He sat on the bed.
            “Was I gone long?” he said.
            “While you were gone, it seemed long, Baby. But now, it seems like no time at all!” she said. “Isn’t that strange?”
            “It’s very hard to think of nothing at all,” he said. “In fact, now, it seems as if nothing at all happened. We might forget all about it!”
            “That would suit me,” said Ramona, throwing off the big quilt, and rising to her feet.

💮💙💮

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

It Was October 5, 2017. It Was Nevada.

 

        (The image shows the famous roadside attraction featuring a vintage tow truck and a UFO model outside the Little A'Le'Inn in Rachel, Nevada, along the Extraterrestrial Highway (State Route 375). Gargle ai..)
💙 
            We thought it was fun, for one reason, because my daughter's name is Rachel. Sometimes it doesn't take much to be amused on one of those long drives.
            Nevada was pretty interesting. There was definitely a sense of mystery, things going on that we had no way of knowing about!

        And there's always some lonely dirt road...

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