Toots & Suzy Make An Announcement

 

             In view of the fact that someone around here took Catfurday mostly off, and didn’t write anything, Toots and Suzy decided to create some content of their own! They were pretty excited about this and feeling just like a couple of real Content Creators!
            “Since our successful missions to the Mewn and then Mrrrz, we have decided to make it official,” said Toots.
            “Yes, everybody, Toots and I are here to announce our official, and perhaps startling, decision to make it our mission to explore further. To go where no cats have gone before, we are pretty sure!” said Suzy. “We’re not scared either!”
            “That’s right,” said Toots. “We finally got it through our Purrception™ that nothing can do anything to a Point of Vision. Hence, no fear! Meow!
            “The next thing was to name this thing, you know? Nameless missions are uncool. So we set to work yesterday, while all was quiet. We put our heads together, so to speak,” added Toots.
            “This is what we decided, after long consideration,” said Suzy.
 

Cat Vision Exploring the Mewniverse & Beyond

Or

⭐CVEM&B⭐

 
           
            “Pretty neat-o, huh,” said Toots! “We sure think so, and we hope you will look forward to our next Expurration™ of Space, Inner n’ Outer!”
            “We even have our own theme music picked out. After you listen with that in mind, we are sure it will set the mood nicely!” said Suzy.
 

“Behold!”

“Over and Meowt!”

Toots & Suzy

😻😹

Dreamy Old Ralph & The Unfinished Story

 

  

          When Ralph told Ramona about the strange dream, she was almost outraged, in a quiet way. Ramona is a very curious Firekeeper, and the unknowns in the story ate away at her sense of completion.
            She just looked at him for a while. Then, “How can you have a dream like that? The rest of the story must be there somewhere, Baby! Try to remember!”
            “Really. That’s all there was, Mona! I wish I knew too!” said Ralph. He didn’t mention what he had heard from his toe. He didn’t think it would translate well to Ramona. When he thought about it, he figured that the toe speech must have been a sort of dream too. It must have been. Toes don’t talk. They just get on with their work, which when analyzed, is pretty much what the dream toe told him, sending feedback from ground level.
            “But, Ralph Baby, what did the men expect to find in the box? It must have been some kind of treasure, right? Some woman must have fooled them somehow. But how did that happen?” said Ramona, urgently.
            “Yeah, not only were they angry when they saw the bones, they were terrified, and I’m not sure why? What’s so scary about an ancient box of old dead bones? And whose bones were they,” said Ralph. “I wonder if that small of a box must have held very small bones.”
            “Brrr!,” said Ramona. “See, there’s a story there, hiding.”
            “We don’t even know if it really happened, Mona. It might just be a crazy dream,” protested Ralph.
            Maeve had been listening carefully from her usual perch on Ralph’s left shoulder. She looked from person to person, thoughtfully.
            “I’ve heard a story like that,” she said. “I don’t even know if it’s true. My dear mate’s original family lived many day’s flight toward the sunrise in another deep and dark forest full of many tales.”
            “How does his story go?” said Ramona.
            “I will try to remember,” said Maeve. “But it has been a very long time since I spoke to him.”
            “That’s alright, Birdy,” said Ralph, reaching up to give  her a little pat on her black feathers.
            “It goes like this: One time there was a rich farmer. He saved all his earnings in cash. Never banks. He was afraid of banks.
            “He had an old wife, for he was old too, but they had no children to inherit this good farm. They also had three local men for farm workers.”
            “Did the farmer keep his money in that wooden box?” said Ramona.
            “That’s what Moshe* said he did,” said Maeve. “One day, he took most of his money, in the box, into the forest and buried it, marking the spot with river stones. He told his old wife where the box was buried, and then after a few years he died.”
            “But, in the dream there were only bones in the box, not money or any kind of treasure!” said Ramona.
            “In the story Moshe told me, the farmer made a false bottom in the box. The gold and bills were under the false bottom. For a joke the farmer piled a bunch of sheep’s bones on top of that fake bottom. Or maybe, he did it to scare anyone who found the box because they would think it was a burial,” said Maeve.
            “Why did the farm workers come to dig it up like sneaks at night?” said Ramona.
            “Oh you know. They were there to rob the old woman. She must have let slip that the box was buried under those rocks. Maybe she promised them something?
            “Maybe they threatened her to get her to tell where it was. Moshe didn’t know,” said Maeve. “But when they saw nothing but bones they were angry and felt that she had tricked them. He didn’t say what became of the box or the money after they had run away.”
            “In my dream, there was someone watching, a park ranger,” said Ralph. “I bet he came back the next day and investigated. I don’t think they were supposed to be doing sneaky stuff in the park at night.”
            “I wonder if the ranger was able to find out whose money it was and return it,” said Ramona.
            “In a proper story, he would have done that,” said Ralph. “But my dream didn’t go that far.”        
            “And Moshe didn’t know that part of the story, or he would have told me,” said Maeve.
            “I still think it’s strange how angry and frightened the men were,” said Ramona.
            “They probably thought the bones were human, and when they realized that they were being watched, thought that it was a burial and that they would get blamed for a death,” said Ralph. “But, you know, maybe it didn’t happen at all. It was just a dream.
            “Oh, Mona, wise and merciful Firekeeper, let’s let the dream fade away. Let’s take our Cherry up to the meadow. Now is a good time to visit Koba, the Star Child, and his caretakers as well! The day is warm and beautiful and full of pleasant whispers.
            “Who knows what wonderful and true things we will meet this day?”
            “Oh, Baby! You’re right! We have better things to think about!” said Ramona. “I miss that child so much already that my heart hurts for him!”
            “Evermore!” said Maeve as she lifted off, soaring into the middle of the glorious air.
            So, like truly heroic characters in all the best tales, the group of four set out for the meadow immediately.
            Maeve flew overhead. Cherry drifted along beside her parents. Ralph and Ramona held hands as they walked. When they came out into the open all eyes could see the leafy dome of the Alder Tree House and in their eagerness, no one gave the old dream a single thought. It was quite forgotten.

🍀

 
*Moshe was Maeve’s old mate's name.

Time is Purrception™

 

            House cats don’t have a lot of chores. It leaves them lots of time for intellectual pursuits. This explains a lot concerning Suzy and Toots. The truth of the matter is that those two can get pretty far afield, out there, in a word, or two words.
            One day recently both of them found themselves with time on their paws..
            One thing led to another and soon they were chatting about their recent foray into space; travel to the Mewn.
            “It was great!” said Toots, “Though we did  have to leave suddenly!”
            “That thing saw us, Toots,” mrrred Suzy.
            “Oh, really? We weren’t even there, just our Purrception was there! Don’t be so scairdy, Suzy!” continued Toots. “Nothing can getcha when you’re just a point of vision flying free!”
            “Then why were you in such a hurry to leave?” said Suzy.
            “Purely instinct, I didn’t have time to think it through,” said Toots. 
            “Time!” said Suzy. “What is time?”
            “Hm. Nobody knows that, Suzy. Personally I think it might be a way of looking at things, depending on where you are,” said Toots, confusingly.
            “Oh, ho, Toots! So, it’s all a matter of Purrception?” giggled Suzy.
            “I daresay that everything we notice is a matter of Purrception,” said Toots. “How about a trip to Mrrrz next?”
            “Where?” said Suzy, Cautiously.
            “You know, the Red Planet. People think they are going to go build cities on Mrrrz. I bet there are already cities there. Maybe underground, but we could check. We might be the first persons to know!” said Toots. “We should be famous already for seeing those towers on the back of the mewn. But nobody listens to cats!”
            “Um, when? Do we have time?” said Suzy.
            “If we want to, we have time,” suggested Toots.
            “Well, OK. Now?” Suzy asked her friend. “Well, let’s do it, Toots. Now!”
            Each girl closed her eyes and concentrated on her awareness. First they synced up. That was easy. They had done it many times before.
            “You know, Toots, there are a lot of places on Earth we haven’t seen,” said Suzy. “Still wanna go to Mrrrz?”
            “There is world enough and time for both,” said Toots. “Let’s go!” 
            In no time Toots and Suzy’s Purrception was cruising over the surface of Mrrrz. They wanted to see well, so they were only like a hundred feet above the surface. They had to slow down because at first they were going too fast to see anything.
            “Wow, Toots, it doesn’t look like anybody lives here,” said Suzy looking over the rough desert of the surface of the planet. “I don’t see a single plant or any living thing. I wonder if it’s as dead as it looks.”
            “Wait a minute,” said Toots. “Aren’t those hatches scattered here and there? Like big doors set into the ground?”
            “They almost look like craters, but I think you’re right. The craters don’t have a split in the middle!” said Suzy. “They must be doors! Shall we peek inside?”
            “Are we not cats? Of course we shall,” said Toots. “How about this one, my dear?”
            As soon as they wished it they found themselves in a dark place behind one of those hatches. After a few moments, they could see better, because they wished it so.
            “It’s an airlock!” said Toots. “The city is on the other side of the second door!”
            Soon the girls were on the other side of that inner door too.
            There was a long tunnel leading down into a lighted area. A creature was walking toward them. They could hardly believe their “eyes.” It looked more like a crab than anything they had ever seen before. It moved with purpose, like it was coming right to them. Could it have sensed the intrusion somehow? It was blue, by the way, walked on two larger limbs on its bottom part, but sported 6 others, arranged around the main body part. It had eyes on stalks like a regular crab, but it looked disturbingly aware.
            The girls began to feel very Cautious™, indeed!
            “Toots, I think our work here is done!” messaged Suzy in a panic.
            “I believe you’re right! We’ve proved our point, to ourselves, if no one else!” agreed Toots. “Let’s get out of here! I’ve seen enough of Mrrrz, and I bet you have too!”
            “Amen, Sister!” said Suzy.
            In no time at all Toots was back in her cozy little bed, snoozing with Sammie, and Suzy was asleep in the green chair in front of the gas heater. Perhaps they had only dreamed, but for sure, their warm sleeping spots are the best place for them!

🦀

Purrsday is for Purring™

 🤍

Zonked and purring up a storm at the same time!

🌸

            One of the cutest things I’ve noticed about having the new kits, is that if they are disturbed while sleeping, or getting into something, their first reaction is loud purring.

            I just went in to where Booker was sleeping and talked with him and petted him a little, and right on cue, loud purring! OTOH, when I have to remove one of them from some situation, I get the same result. Lots of purring.

            What does it mean? For one thing they purr much more than the other cats ever did. Hm.

            At the bottom of it, I wonder if it’s not just a bonding thing, like we’re all together in this, whatever it is. Solidarity!

            Maybe it means, for one thing, that these kittens have never had a bad experience in their lives. They’re just genuinely happy boys?

            I know cats purr if they feel sick sometimes.

            I’ve knew a cat who would purr against me if I cried.

            Some have been known to purr with an injured or ill person.

            It think it can have an element of petition, “Let me down, I’ll purr nicely.”

            Of course I think of it as love and happiness expressed in a cat way.

 

            It’s a strange thing to wake in the dark in the middle of the night and to hear loud purring somewhere nearby. Very soothing and peaceful. Maybe someone, some little soul, in the house at night is Purring™ for us all!

            I think that’s true.

🤍

The Meditations of a 7th Toe

   

         

           So, anyhow, Ralph and Uncle Bob went fairly far afield rounding up some dry deadfall for the girls to cook with. Dry is best of course because it burns hotter, though green wood is far better than no wood. On the way back to the Meadow and the Home Clearing they encountered a flock of hen turkeys. Ralph kind of crooned at them, which made them easy to catch, and their numbers were decreased by four. A pretty good day of hunting, since they had not really been hunting at all.
            Ralph carried the firewood in his big leather backpack and his turkeys by hand. Uncle Bob had to make do with his hands. He had a tough time, but they finally got him home to Suzie.
            Ralph delivered the fuel and the turkeys to Ramona, kissed her and hugged Cherry.
            By now it was late afternoon, not that Forest Giants care about the time of day, so, he decided to go pick up where he left off that morning when Uncle Bob showed up.
            It was a nice mild, gray day without rain. It was quiet in the forest. Sound seemed hushed. He didn’t even hear the river talking to itself. Maeve was down chatting with Ramona and teaching Cherry Raven folklore. It was such a nice comfy day. His log beckoned.
            “Now,” thought Ralph. “I was just waiting to hear from my 7^th toe when I got interrupted.” Soon he was in sleep’s antechamber.
            “If you read from left to right, as most do in this fair country, I myself dwelt on your right foot, Sir. My position is subsidiary. I am next to your Most Auspicious Great Toe, on your right foot. A goodly position, Sir, as you commonly stride out first with your right foot!” said No. 7.
            Ralph’s eyes opened briefly, but then they drifted shut again.
            “I see life at a fundamental level, dear Sir. I am nearly the least of your servants, but not quite the least. We toes, in fact, read the earth you stride on. We send subtle messages up to you. ‘Lightly here!’ and ‘There are thorns here!’ and such. We toes are on your side, um, in a manner of speaking. We live to serve, and when you prosper, indeed we toes prosper in like manner.”
            By then, Ralph was well and truly in sleep’s throne room. And a vision came to him.
            He saw in his mind’s eye that he was in another great forest far away to the east. He gazed upon a clearing among a stand of mighty trees, foreign to the Douglas firs of his own home. Soon, three rough fellows came pacing in carrying shovels and strong flashlights, for it was nighttime there.
            They were looking all around for something. One said to the other two, “She said it was marked by a flat black rock, round from a river.”
            “By now, it will be buried,” said another one.
            “Keep stomping and kicking, it will be the only river rock out here,” said No. 1.
            They did this until at last No.2 ran his toe into something under a layer of forest duff.
            “That’s it!” said No. 3, the youngest of the crew, visibly excited.
            It seemed to Ralph that he was looking through another’s eyes. Human eyes. The man whose vision he saw had authority, but not enough power to enforce it. He was afraid of the odds against him. This young man represented law, but could not afford to challenge these diggers. He watched.
            No. 1 poked his fingers under the edge of the flat black river rock and rolled it aside. The flashlight beams danced all over the clearing. All three men set the lights around the area where the stone had been so that they could see to dig. And dig they did. Frantically, hungrily, quickly.
            Soon they had a pretty good sized hole. The watcher watched and stayed hidden. He wanted to know what was in the hole, if anything at all.
            About three feet down, a shovel hit something that made a dull thud, perhaps a wooden object. It seemed to Ralph that it must be a chest of some sort. Anyone would assume so.
            The three men dug all around it. But they were tiring. They rubbed their hands on their old pants, spat, cursed and dug again. They got their shovel blades under the bottom of the object, which did seem to be a wooden box, much deteriorated. It wasn’t very big, maybe two feet long and 18 inches high and a similar measurement deep.
            It was drawn up out of the hole. It was locked, but the wood was rotted around the lock, so they struck the box until the lid could be lifted.
            No. 1 lifted the lid and turned it back. The hinges broke and it fell away.
            “That bitch!” he screamed. He kicked the box over and over. Nothing fell out but bones.
            The watcher gasped. Then he ran. He had seen their faces well and he knew them. It seemed to Ralph that the young officer raced to save his own life, and in hopes to discover a mystery. He was in much better condition than his pursuers, and he ran well, leaving them far behind in the depths of the forest…
            Ralph woke suddenly. He shook his head in amazement. “Wow!” he said to the air around him where he lay. He sat up blinking for a few seconds.
            But, he could smell roasting turkey, and suddenly all was well again, and the dream drifted off to wherever dreams go and was forgotten.

🏴‍☠️

"Hey, Ralphie!"

 

            One fine morning Ralph was stretched out on his dear old cedar log. He was sensing each toe separately as a sort of meditation. He had gotten to the 7^th toe, and it was just about to spill some toe secrets about its life as a toe, when a familiar voice interrupted his pre-nap considerations.
            It was Uncle Bob.
            “Hey, Ralphie,” he said. “What’cha doin’?”  Bob’s friendly face looked down at Ralph’s startled one.
            “Um, thinking. What’s up, Bob,” said Ralph, rising to a sitting position, because he knew this wasn’t going to be a quickie. It never was. He mentally kissed his nap goodbye.
            “Have a seat, Bob, and let’s hear it, whatever it is,” said Ralph.
            Uncle Bob swarmed aboard Ralph’s log, but ended up facing the other way and had to turn around to talk. It took a minute.
            “I just remembered something! Usually I can’t remember anything that happened back after we grew up and I was still smoking so much. Did I ever tell you about the guy in the green truck I met one day?” said Bob. “He was a really nice guy!”
            “I don’t remember hearing about the guy in the green truck, Bob,” said Ralph. “What happened?”
            “All I remember is that I was lying on the ground by a road. My eyes were open and I was looking up at the sky wondering if it was gong to rain. I guess I was really close to the road because I heard a car or truck slow down like they were taking a look. And I was really worried that a human was looking at me laying in the grass by the road,” said Uncle Bob.
            “What happened then, did someone see you?” asked Ralph, to help the story along.
            “I guess he parked. The engine stopped running. I heard him get out of the truck. I peeked. It was an old green truck with a truck box thing on the back. Then I shut my eyes so maybe he would leave me alone!” said Bob, eyes wide.
            “Did it work?” said Ralph.
            “No, Ralphie! He came right up to me and said, ‘Are you alive?’ I sneezed. So, I guess he figured out I was alive. He said, ‘Why are you laying there by the ditch? You look dead. What’s the matter with you?’
            “It was freakier than heck, Ralphie. He wasn’t scared of me at all. He was just this dad looking guy in jeans and a white t-shirt. I wasn’t scared of him either I guess, so I got up.”
            “He said, ‘You look like hell. Are you hungry, or what?’ When he said that he smiled and I was really hungry. He guessed that right. I didn’t remember eating for a long time.”
            “He said he had a sack of groceries in the truck and why didn’t I come with him? I was so scared, Ralphie, but I was really hungry. So, I got into the truck. It was like a dream. There I was in a human’s truck!” whispered Uncle Bob.
            “Wow, Bob. You amaze me!” said Ralph. “Then what?”
            “He started up the engine and got back up on the road and drove down to a little dirt road. He turned in there, then turned the truck around so he was facing out. He parked again. He gave me some coffee out of a can thing with a lid. I didn’t know it was coffee back then, It was hot and brown and bitter, but I drank it anyhow. Then he gave me a banana. He had to show me how to peel it.
            “He laughed at me, but not mean. Then he gave me some kind of slices of meat put into bread. Then he opened up a paper bag of little things like sweet bread, I didn’t know about cookies back then. ‘Feel better, kid?’ he said, and I did. I ate all the cookies.”
            “You know, Bob. You were awful lucky he found you! You know that? It could have really gone wrong. Passed out on the road like that?” said Ralph. “Some fool might have freaked out and shot you!”
            “I know, Ralphie. I think he pretty much saved me,” said Uncle Bob.
            “How did you manage to understand each other?” said Ralph.
            “I don’t remember talking, but I understood what he said. Maybe it was that head thing? I don’t really know,” said Bob.
            “What’s the end of the story? I’m really curious,” said Ralph.
            “Not much. He gave me a bag of orange roots, or carrots. I didn’t know what they were. He told me to knock off whatever made me lay by the road looking dead. He showed me how the door handle worked and I got out. I said my thanks in our language, he nodded. I shut the truck door and watched him drive back out to the paved road. That’s all,” Bob said.
            “That was an unusual human,” mused Ralph.
            “It’s funny I forgot about him for so long,” said Uncle Bob.
            “He was right, wasn’t he?” said Ralph, giving Uncle Bob a sideways look.
            “Yeah. He was like somebody’s dad,” said Uncle Bob.
            “Funny it took you so long to get the message,” said Ralph.
            “But I did, Ralphie! I did! I really like having memories!”
            “Ah, Bob. Yes you did! Let’s go get some firewood for Ramona and Suzie. Make ourselves useful, eh?” said Ralph.
            “Good idea,” said Uncle Bob.

🍌

A True Tale of Terror on The 405 Freeway!

 

            It would be very easy to blame my dear little commie sister for this, but in truth I am responsible for going along with the gag myself. I should have known it was too weird.
            It goes like this: One day, several years ago, my sister called me on the phone with a request. It seems that a woman had come to her door begging for help. The odd lady said that she was stuck here in Everett without funds and needed to get to Redmond, IIRC. She was at her wit’s end, she said. She begged Chris for a ride! She knocked on the right door.
            That’s a pretty good distance from Everett, through savage traffic. Apparently, sister didn’t have access to a vehicle that day. So, she called me and asked me to drive her and this dame, I shall call Sylvia, to Redmond. No specific location in Redmond was mentioned.
            Any sensible person would have said, "Nah, too flakey." Maybe I was curious. I don’t know why I did it, but I said OK and drove over to Chris’ house and picked her and Sylvia up. Sylvia was a small scrappy looking critter in her 50s maybe. She sat in the back seat looking oddly happy and not talking much. Pretty darn "Off!"
            I was beginning to get the idea that this project was real dumb.
            I asked Sylvia where she wanted to go, that she was in such a hurry to get to.
            We were on 405. There is a big hospital in Kirkland on 405 called Evergreen. Sylvia said she had an appointment in the hospital. OK. So we parked outside the hospital and went in. Sylvia went ahead of us way down the hall. So, I turned to Chris and said, “Let’s beat it. Leave her here!” Chris agreed and we turned around to leave. But the wily bag lady twigged and came running to go with us. I should have just told her “No” right then, but I failed.
            She wasn’t done yet. She wanted to go to a certain address on Mercer Island, a ritzy neighborhood, by the way. She gave me an address, and I tried to find it. We had cell phones back then, but it was like a Nokia brick. There was no way of locating obscure addresses.
            This went on for a while. Sylvia looked happy as heck. She was loving riding around in the back seat. It became late afternoon. I was getting pretty tired of this game and Chris looked pretty embarrassed.
            So, I parked. I called 911, I really did this. I told the nice girl on the line my problem. I had this woman in the car who was looking for this address and could they provide some direction. She said, “Stay right there! We’ll send an officer.” Lol!! And they did.
            When the guy got to us, he collected Sylvia, who looked like all her fun was done now. It turned out that they knew her! She had done this before!
            I have no idea what the Mercer Island police do with strange vagrant ladies. But, thank goodness it wasn’t my problem anymore!
            I think I have left out a few other stages of this game of Sylvia’s. It took all day.
            So, OK, it wasn’t really terrifying. It was just stupid. I went along with my gullible sister’s desire to help a female beggar at her door.
            What would you have done, if your sister called with a request like that?

❓