You Knew This Was Coming

 

            It was Monday morning. A perfectly fine and peaceful sort of a time. No problems, except to get some coffee and get settled in posting my usual scattershot of interesting stuff found online. And that’s not really a problem at all.
            However, Willie arrived right on schedule and this time he was all out of bubblegum and wanted to “talk!” He didn’t enclose my wrist in his usual embrace. He stood on the desk extension giving me significant looks until I broke down.
            “Oh, fine, Willie! Get it off your brisket! What is it this time,” I cried.
            “We need to make some addendums to that Wednesday Cat Day thing, Lady,” he answered.
            “Pray tell, Mr. Envoy!” I whispered into the darkened room. (It was still dark!)
            “I’ve looked into that days of the week thing you guys have. It’s all haywire. All of the rest of the cats agree. Even Charley, and agreement, in general, is not her bag!” said Willie all in one breath.
            “So, what’s wrong with em,” I asked, regretting it already. “Charley is a little gnarly, I will admit,” I said, additionally.
            “The names are all wrong!” he insisted. “You can do better!”
            “What’s wrong with Sunday, Willie,” I said.
            “Sardine would be better.” I rolled my eyes at him.
            “How about Preyday?” he suggested.
            “Too close, Buddy,” I said, patiently.
            “The mind boggles, Willie,” I said. “We’d have to change every calendar on earth. That won’t happen you know!”
            “Then there’s Monday. No good! We all want it called Mrrrtday! We could swing with that,” he said.
            “What’s wrong with Friday,” I said. I was trying to throw him off by going out of order. He didn’t care. Cat’s don’t care about the order of the days of the week. They barely know there is a week.
            “Fsssstday would be a lot better,” said Willie. “Even you pinkies get a little hissy by Friday.”
            “Saturday?” I said.
            “Suzyday!” He looked benevolent and triumphant.
            “What does Suzy think about that?” I said.
            “She’s fine! I don’t know! We didn’t ask her,” said Willie. “She was asleep.”
            “Look, Willie. I agreed that Wednesday could be official cat day. But we didn’t have to change the word Wednesday to some goofy cat’s designation! I can’t help but think changing the names of the week’s days could elicit resistance! What’s all this about anyhow? Really?”
            “I kind of like Wordycat for Wednesday,” he murmured.
            “I want to know what got this going, Willie,” I said.
            “You really want to know?” he said. I nodded at him. The light was coming up. He looked a little sleepy. I began to feel like I might have the upper hand in this discussion.
            “Really, really, we all voted that we wanted Tuesday to be Tootsday. That’s all! We thought it would encourage her to be brave! She’s such a good witness, watching out of her window faithfully day by day, but she worries too much!
            “I was just trying to soften you up with all those other demands,” he said, earnestly.
            “Ah, Willie, you big softy,” I said. “In fact, all of you are a bunch of squishes,” I giggled.
            “Willie, neither I nor you cats can change the names of the days of the week. It’s beyond our powers. But here, among our friends, which includes all you tiny predators, we can sure call Tuesday Tootsday if you all think it would encourage her!” I said.
            “Thanks, Lady. That’s about it,” he yawned.
            “Let’s do in then. To us, Tuesday is now Tootsday!”
            So, the great negotiator got down off of my desk and went into the bedroom to sleep in the bed there. And you know what?
            Willie snores!
            Happy Tootsday everyone!

😹