Suzy was furiously trying to scrub
butter off her face, using the tried and true paw licking method. It was hard
because butter hangs around. She was looking a bit sleek around the muzzle. But
it was time for PurrIn™, so she had to quit scrubbing and pay attention.
“OK, let’s start,” said Charley, who had the chair this time. “I’ve called this meeting to address a question. The question rests on a known fact. We all know it. We don’t like it, but there it is. By now, we all know about Sasquatches, Boogers, whatevers. We know.
“The question on the table is, why do humans love them so much?” asked Charley.
“Are you sure it’s love? If so, it’s a pretty strange love, some people are scared silly of em,” said Willie.
“That’s fair,” said Charlie. “Maybe awe is a better word. But what function do they serve among mankind? I mean, it seems like they get more attention all the time. Have you all seen YouTube lately? Nothing but BigFoot!”
Mr. Baby Sir raised his paw, in a manner of speaking. “I’d like to suggest that there must be a big element of wish fulfillment involved. Ask yourself, if you had to work for a living, were worried about fifteen different scary human problems, felt weak and funny looking, wouldn’t you like to be ten feet tall and go stomping through the forest, doing and saying whatever you wanted? I do admit that is just a popular image of the Hairy Man. It could be pretty one faceted.”
“So, you’re saying that mankind needs them?” said Willie.
“Well, I think so,” said Mr. Baby. “In fact, I posit that maaaaybe, the need almost summons them forth! From where…I can’t imagine.”
“Jeez, guys! Are they real? Or not? You sound like you’re talking about ghosts!” said Suzy with a delicate shudder.
“Oh, no!” said Toots.
“Order!” yelled Charley. Just because she wanted to, not because anyone was out of control.
“How about this,” said Sammie. “Maybe the mythos of BigFoot is a place to store all their primitive inchoate fears? How about that?”
“Huh?” said Mr. Baby. “What? I just think people want to feel big and strong and free!”
“So, maybe it makes them feel better to tell each other stories about the mighty Hairy Man and his exploits,” said Suzy, still not wanting to think about ghosts.
“We have to face the fact that many of the stories are true,” said Toots. “So, what does that mean?”
“Maybe we don’t get to know,” said Sammie.
“Maybe people require a mythic figure, psychologically?” said Suzy.
“But, dammit, they’re real,” said Toots. “I see em out my doggone window!”
“Let me barge in here,” said Buddy. “For whatever irrational human reason, some people just love the idea of a huge living teddy bear, who might hug them even, or protect them from Dog Man.”
(There was a brief rumpus while Suzy and Toots were coaxed back to the PurrIn™.)
“To continue, maybe some people actually want a boogieman. Why do people watch scary movies? They want to be scared in a safe way? Does that make sense? Maybe on some level people summon forth the scary ones with their fear, or something else,” said Buddy.
“You still sound like you are trying to justify a story! I have seen them! You have to deal with the flesh and blood reality and the fact that people can’t stop talking about them,” said Toots.
“Some people actually make BigFoot their profession! It’s a job to them. They make videos, sell books, sell BF swag, that sort of thing. So we mustn’t forget that aspect of how mankind handles things. They make a “Thing” of it. Funny but true,” said Buddy. “There are also scholarly types, who study the question of how to quantify the Hairy Man.”
“Did we figure anything out,” said Charley, with furrowed brow.
“Maybe,” said Willie. “It just gives us another reason to be sure to help them as much as we can. This means a lot of physical contact. They need the support. Any cat can see that! Purr lots! The vibration helps them heal, of course. I really think it helps to dissipate their worries. We might actually need to sort of compete with their big scary, or maybe cuddly teddy bear guy! Be more to them than that guy out in the woods! What do you cats think?”
“Hear, hear,” said Charley. “I think we might have chased our own tails around in a circle some, but being cats, we have come to a wholesome conclusion!”
“Let it be!” said Suzy.
“Amen,” said Toots.
“I can dig it,” said Mr. Baby.
“Logical!” said Buddy.
Then they all went forth to do as Willie had suggested to the very best of their several abilities!
“OK, let’s start,” said Charley, who had the chair this time. “I’ve called this meeting to address a question. The question rests on a known fact. We all know it. We don’t like it, but there it is. By now, we all know about Sasquatches, Boogers, whatevers. We know.
“The question on the table is, why do humans love them so much?” asked Charley.
“Are you sure it’s love? If so, it’s a pretty strange love, some people are scared silly of em,” said Willie.
“That’s fair,” said Charlie. “Maybe awe is a better word. But what function do they serve among mankind? I mean, it seems like they get more attention all the time. Have you all seen YouTube lately? Nothing but BigFoot!”
Mr. Baby Sir raised his paw, in a manner of speaking. “I’d like to suggest that there must be a big element of wish fulfillment involved. Ask yourself, if you had to work for a living, were worried about fifteen different scary human problems, felt weak and funny looking, wouldn’t you like to be ten feet tall and go stomping through the forest, doing and saying whatever you wanted? I do admit that is just a popular image of the Hairy Man. It could be pretty one faceted.”
“So, you’re saying that mankind needs them?” said Willie.
“Well, I think so,” said Mr. Baby. “In fact, I posit that maaaaybe, the need almost summons them forth! From where…I can’t imagine.”
“Jeez, guys! Are they real? Or not? You sound like you’re talking about ghosts!” said Suzy with a delicate shudder.
“Oh, no!” said Toots.
“Order!” yelled Charley. Just because she wanted to, not because anyone was out of control.
“How about this,” said Sammie. “Maybe the mythos of BigFoot is a place to store all their primitive inchoate fears? How about that?”
“Huh?” said Mr. Baby. “What? I just think people want to feel big and strong and free!”
“So, maybe it makes them feel better to tell each other stories about the mighty Hairy Man and his exploits,” said Suzy, still not wanting to think about ghosts.
“We have to face the fact that many of the stories are true,” said Toots. “So, what does that mean?”
“Maybe we don’t get to know,” said Sammie.
“Maybe people require a mythic figure, psychologically?” said Suzy.
“But, dammit, they’re real,” said Toots. “I see em out my doggone window!”
“Let me barge in here,” said Buddy. “For whatever irrational human reason, some people just love the idea of a huge living teddy bear, who might hug them even, or protect them from Dog Man.”
(There was a brief rumpus while Suzy and Toots were coaxed back to the PurrIn™.)
“To continue, maybe some people actually want a boogieman. Why do people watch scary movies? They want to be scared in a safe way? Does that make sense? Maybe on some level people summon forth the scary ones with their fear, or something else,” said Buddy.
“You still sound like you are trying to justify a story! I have seen them! You have to deal with the flesh and blood reality and the fact that people can’t stop talking about them,” said Toots.
“Some people actually make BigFoot their profession! It’s a job to them. They make videos, sell books, sell BF swag, that sort of thing. So we mustn’t forget that aspect of how mankind handles things. They make a “Thing” of it. Funny but true,” said Buddy. “There are also scholarly types, who study the question of how to quantify the Hairy Man.”
“Did we figure anything out,” said Charley, with furrowed brow.
“Maybe,” said Willie. “It just gives us another reason to be sure to help them as much as we can. This means a lot of physical contact. They need the support. Any cat can see that! Purr lots! The vibration helps them heal, of course. I really think it helps to dissipate their worries. We might actually need to sort of compete with their big scary, or maybe cuddly teddy bear guy! Be more to them than that guy out in the woods! What do you cats think?”
“Hear, hear,” said Charley. “I think we might have chased our own tails around in a circle some, but being cats, we have come to a wholesome conclusion!”
“Let it be!” said Suzy.
“Amen,” said Toots.
“I can dig it,” said Mr. Baby.
“Logical!” said Buddy.
Then they all went forth to do as Willie had suggested to the very best of their several abilities!
😻🤎😹
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