A Highly Apocryphal Conversation

 

Suzy: “Willie, somebody is talking to me, but I can’t hear him.  Can you?”

Willie: “No. And I’m hungry. I don’t like Sheba roasted chicken anymore.”

S.: “He says he’s been talking to Toots too. I wonder who he is.”

W.: “Maybe it’s one of your fleas Suzy.”

S.: “I don’t have any fleas.”

W.: “Well, assuming that you’re not hallucinating, you could try asking him who he is.”

Suzy shuts her eyes, sitting meatloaf style. She is silent for a while. Minutes tick over. She sighs and opens her eyes.

S.: “I was thinking really hard. I don’t know if it worked. I said who are you. Um. Wait a minute.”

W.: “I’m waiting. Nothing else to do around here. Did I mention being hungry?”

S.: “He’s laughing. That tickles.”

W.: “I told you it was a flea!”

S.: “He says all his friends call him Uncle Bob. I wonder why?”

W.: “You worry me. I don’t think they have head shrinkers for cats. They only have the needle Suzy. Don’t let it come to that!”

S.: “What a horrible thing to suggest, brother dearest! No matter what, I know she loves me, even if I am a little sensitive at times.”

W.: “Oh, is that what they’re calling it nowadays? You make ‘sensitive’ look like a sofa! Suzy, where is Uncle Bob? Did he tell you that, or is he still yukking it up? Why am I even talking as if you are making sense?”

S.: “It’s getting easier. Hang on.”

W.: “Mrrrp. Prrt. Zzzzzzzzzz.”

S.: “He’s in the forest. I’ve never been in the forest. I wonder what that is?”

W.: “This is what I’ve heard. It’s outside this house. You can see the start of it from the windows. There are huge plants and litter that goes on forever. It’s endless. But remember that we are rescues. Our mother was from the forest. So, I know there is a forest.”

S.: “I don’t remember her. Who told you that we are rescues?”

W.: “When we were kittens at the very beginning, I heard them talking about us that way. So, why did Uncle Bob contact you anyhow?”

S.: “Oh, Toots just wanted to say Hi, and that we shouldn’t be afraid of the Forest Keepers. They’re alright.  They don’t eat cats. She thought if one of them told me I would stop worrying. He said they don't eat cats and that everything is fine."

W.: “In some odd way, that makes sense Suzy. Maybe you aren’t completely goofy! Maybe!”

S.: “Prrrrrrrr. Getting sleepy Willie.”

W.: “Let’s slip inside the bedroom and nap in with her! Warmest place in the house!”

S.: “Good idea!”