The Gummi Cure

 

Day 1

I am become death. The despoiler of Gummi bears.

(I must mention here that Oppenheimer mistranslated the B. Gita there. The word really means more like the ending of the world.) 

I noticed all of a sudden yesterday that I was smoking. I looked down at my hand and there was half of a burning Camel in it. How the heck….?

When I checked my recent memory banks, I realized that yes, it was me and that I had been doing that. Again. My coughing can attest to this.

Sometimes I smoke a lot. There were years when I did not at all. I was having babies and all that stuff.

I honestly think I started out just getting a kick out of buying them when I was not old enough. So having bought them I smoked em.

Anyhow, this is my plan. I am taking the Gummi Cure. Whenever I would naturally light up, I am asking He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed for three Gummis instead. See, I don’t have my own smokes..I smoke his. I love bumming a smoke more than smoking it.

After a few days of this will come the Black Coffee and Forget It Cure.

It’s not hard. I am not needing sympathy, cajoling or soft pillows. I just have to remember not to hit the ground.

Should you desire these shoes, they come in colors by the way, there is a source for them.