It Was A Fishing Trip

 

The Snake River.

 

            Feeding a family of big eaters like Ralph and his little tribe is a big job. You might wonder how they manage it. So far we have heard about trout, turkeys, maybe pheasants, and the occasional little buck deer.
            Ralph was always on the lookout for more. That, and more firewood.
            Rumors like a scent in the air began to drift up to the great forest. Maeve was the last vehicle for the story. To wit:
            She arrived in her usual rather sudden way. Bam! She was on Ralph's shoulder.
            “Hey, Boss, ever hear of a fish as big as a horse?” queried she.
            “Well, no, Birdie. Not around here anyhow. Out in the ocean is a different story,” said Ralph.
            “I spoke to an eagle..” said Maeve, casually.
            “Oh, didja now! I didn’t know you talked to those guys,” laughed Ralph. “Not since..”
            “That’s all over, Boss! We talk. They roam further than I do. I stick around, more or less,” said Maeve. “This guy, the eagle, all eagles in fact love fish. Heck ravens love fish too, but we don’t go fishing like they do, you know?”
            “I do know,” said Ralph. He could see that she would get to her point eventually. He was patient.
            “So, this eagle, he knows another eagle, their names are unpronounceable, Boss. I’ll start over. Our eagle knows another eagle from way over the mountains and farms. This other eagle told the first one that he lives near a river like a snake. A really big snake.” She took a big breath, looking earnestly at Ralph’s ear.
            “OK. Got that much,” said Ralph.
            “Boss! You don’t get it yet! There are fish as big as horses or bigger in that river. They’re called something like doctors! I don’t get it either. They are longer than tour buses sometimes!”
            “Far out!” said Ralph, suddenly very interested.
            “Cool,” agreed Maeve.
            “I sense an expedition being born,” said Ralph.
            “I do too!” said Maeve. She was just about hopping up and down. “It’s a place called Taterland!”
            “This is what I want you to do, Birdie. Go wake up Uncle Bob. Tell him to come see me and he better bring that mysterious helpmeet of his! I’ll talk to Ramona. She will know how to deal with a fish as big as a horse!” crowed Ralph.
            Maeve blasted off for the Stump House and Ralph hopped down off of his big cedar log. He needed to get Ramona onboard with the project.
            As predicted, Ramona was all for it.
            In two shakes of a Sturgeon’s tail Uncle Bob and Aunt Suzy presented themselves at the fire circle. Ralph explained what he had in mind.
            “I propose that you and I and the cats go ahunting one of these mighty fish! We could eat fish for days and days, all of us, with plenty for Thaga and Ooog too!” said Ralph.
            “I think you should go, Bob,” said Suzy. Neither of them wore pants, but if they did, Suzy might have them.  
            “Suzy, why don’t you stay here with me and the kids,” said Ramona. “I would be glad for the company!”
            “Thank you, Ramona, I will,” said Suzy, who didn’t want to just sit around the Stump House by herself, alone again.
            Nobody could guess how long it would take to catch a mighty snaky river fish. It might be one day; it might be more! As you know, Forest People have their own mysterious ways of getting around. But, even so, the hunting itself had to be done by hand, and it would take as long as it took.
            Maeve provided coordinates to Taterland. Ralph whistled up the puma bros. Bob kissed Suzy goodbye for now. Ralph went into the cave and got the Portable Portal down off the high shelf where he kept it out of anybody’s reach but his own. He hung it, gleaming dully around his neck. Then he got a nice coil of rope he had stashed in there also and gave it to Uncle Bob to carry. Next he went back in there and got the leather backpack that Ooog had given him one Gifting Day in winter. He put a few oddments of tools in there including a rather large knife.
            After all that, he kissed Cherry, he noogied Twigg and told him to take care of the ladies. Then he gave Ramona a bear hug like no other and kissed her and told her to rake care of everything. All was ready.
            So, Ralph took the Portable Portal off of his neck and shook it. It brightened up. It hung in the air making a rather large shining opening. Uncle Bob stepped through and disappeared. Ralph with his cats stepped through next and the last thing Ramona and everyone saw was his hand reaching back to take hold of the Portal and pull it into itself. They were off!
            They landed in a hot dry place on a steep incline. This had to be Taterland, for down at the bottom of the hillside there was a twisty turny big river, surely snaky.
            “This must be the place,” said Ralph.
            An eagle seemed to be watching them as it flew high circles in the hot air.
            “Let’s go Bob,” said Ralph.
            They worked their way down the steep hillside in a line. Ralph was in front and then came Uncle Bob with Berry and Bob behind. It was rough going with lots of rocks and tough weeds, sage and so forth.
            Down at the bottom, looking over the surface of the twisty river, Ralph decided to try singing his fish calling song, just to see if it worked here like it did at home. He sang for quite some time, looking for some sign of a large fish.
            Nothing happened. They ended up sleeping by the river overnight. They ate some deer jerky and watched the stars without all those big firs in the way of the sky. Some of the stars moved, but those were probably satellites.
            In the morning, really early, Ralph opened his eyes to an alien world. The sun was just coming up over the rocks behind them. The sounds of the desert started up, insects and distant train whistles, the river sighing and rustling. He loved it, but it wasn’t home.
            Berry and Bob were sleeping snugly on each side of Uncle Bob. Ralph left them sleeping and went to look at the river again.
            “River Mother, come to me,” Ralph said.
            “I’m old. So very old, Forest Man,” said a silvery voice, maybe inaudibly.
            “Let me see you, Mother,” said Ralph.
            “Will you set me free, Forest Man?” said she. “I am weary. I would be free.”
            “Yes, I will set you free,” replied Ralph.
            So, she came up to the surface of the river, entering the shallow edge where the water didn’t run so swiftly. She was bigger than a horse, long and showing signs of age. She rested there.
            Ralph came to her there with his large knife. He said, “Be free, River Mother,” and he let her out of the world. There was no struggle at all.
            She weighed more than Ralph himself, but his strength is unknowable. He pulled her up onto his back, so that he could carry her.
            “Wake up Bob!” said Ralph. “I’ve already caught a fish! Take my rope off of your neck and tie her to my back! Then you carry my big leather pack. But get the Portal out of it first and hand it to me!”
            What a scene they made for the eagle flying over again. He had never seen such a sight in all of his years flying high over the land. There was Ralph, 9 ft tall with the River Mother tied to his back. There was pouchy Uncle Bob carrying Ralph’s pack. There were two full grown pumas looking all around and learning the desert and river scents.
            Also, there was Ralph shaking out the Portal, making it hold its position in the air and shine like burning gold as they all stepped through and vanished from the snaky river bank.
            When the hunters returned to the Great Forest and their home there was a joyful reunion, and a lot of fishy dinners. Also, Ramona had to smoke some of it to keep it for the future.