Even A King Can Get A Little Tired

 

 
            “What do you think I did all day, Ramona?” said Ralph, sitting quietly by the fire.
            “I can’t guess,” she said. “It might be anything!” She was preparing a couple of wild turkeys for the fire. So she was a little abstracted.
            “Well, it might be,” he agreed. For once his ebullience seemed a tad dimmed.
            Berry was surprised to see the boss looking, incredibly, a little bushed. He came near and laid his head on Ralph’s knee where he sat. “Helping?” said Berry.
            “I suppose so,” said Ralph.
            Maeve swooped down from above. She had something to say, naturally. Besides the usual. “You could call it public assistance,” said Maeve. “It’s funny how not scared people can be when they need help.”
            Ramona finished getting the turkeys just right over the fire and sat down beside Ralph.
            “Well, what  happened?” She tipped her head inquiringly; he always spilled the beans when she did that.
            “You know, I went for a little run this morning. It gives me a chance to take a look around too. Right? So, you know those forest service roads up on Green Mountain? We don’t call it that, I know. But they do.
            “Well, I was chugging along making good time, tearing up the miles, full of the glory of it all. I was heading uphill at a pretty steep incline. I went around one of those sharp switchbacks and what do I see up ahead? A stranded woman driving a bunch of little kids in an SUV. I guess she must have decided to take them for an outing in the woods.
            “This is always a delicate moment. I never know if they will opt for fight or flight or just pass out when they see me. 80% of the time that is.  Sometimes they just don’t see me. Well, you know how it is, Mona. But like what Maeve says, sometimes a person who needs help in a bad way is a little more open minded. I approached slowly, like all causal.
            “I said to the woman who was standing looking at a flat tire on the rear, left side, ‘hello lady. Do you need some help? Have you ever changed a tire before.’ She said, ‘well yes, I have, but the jack isn’t in the car!’ She didn’t even flinch when I walked up. ‘Do you have a spare and the wrench?’ I asked her and she said, yeah, those she had.
            “Well, so of course, I held up the back of that car while she changed the tire, with three small hairless children staring at me out of the windows. I smiled at them, but they still seemed a little overly impressed, but not screaming.
            “The woman thanked me, shaking my hand with both of hers and I went back to running the forest roads of Green Mountain.”
            “I can see Maeve’s point,” said Ramona, winking at the big black bird who had resumed her usual perch on Ralph’s shoulder.
            “I kept going, higher and higher. In another few minutes I came upon a great huge dead fir tree blocking the road. I think it fell over because the ground was so wet, and the tree was so big and so dead. Well, a couple of guys with a big chainsaw had cut it loose from its rootball, but then, of course, wanted to move it out of the road. Even in several pieces, they couldn’t have. They were just in a pickup. So that’s what I did. I picked it up. What could I do? They were pretty happy to see me too, I must say! Those two guys became devoted and friendly believers that very day, Mona!
            “Those trees are heavy, even for you, aren’t they,” said Ramona looking a bit worried. “You didn’t strain anything did you?”
            “Not seriously,” said Ralph. “But I was beginning to feel like some old Greek hero, I forget the name.” She nodded, but she didn’t know the name either.
            “There’s more,” said Ralph.
            “Really? Oh no!” said Ramona, laughing a little.
            “This one is really silly! I was walking now. Not running. The road started going downhill. I was able to run again after a little walking rest. I met another runner. But this guy was up a tree. I’m not kidding. A mother black bear with a cub, not one we know, was hanging around the tree waiting for him to fall out.
            “He looked like the whole thing was too much for him. He might have fallen out when I got there in addition to the bears, but I said, ‘hold on. I’ll get rid of the bears for you.  It’ll just take a minute.’ He nodded and hung on to his big branch up there.
            “I said, ‘hey mama, let’s just leave this guy alone, huh?’ She gave me a really stubborn look and didn’t budge. I smacked her butt, and she still wouldn’t move. So what could I do? I threw her over my shoulder and took off toward home, back the way I came, running with a black bear on my shoulder and her cub desperately trying to keep up! I carried that bear for a couple of miles or so until she was flat out of the mood to eat a guy who was up a tree. She just wanted down, badly. So, I put her down and told her and that cub to go home and be nice. They disappeared into the bush. I don’t believe she or the cub or Jack up the beanstalk will ever forget me! But I’m tired. Yes. I am tired. I think I’ll just sit here and wait for some turkey. If it take a couple of hours I’m fine with that.”
            “Aw, Baby. You really are a hero!” said Ramona. “You just sit here and take it easy!”
            “See what I said,” said Maeve.
            “Yeah, I do,” said Ramona. “Everyone is always glad to be saved by a hero no matter how big and hairy and mythical he might be! Just like that Greek guy!”
            “You should be in a book, Ralph!” said Maeve.
            “Thanks, Black Leg,” funnier things have happened on earth, huh?”