Be Here Now

 

At Rasar State park.

          When Mark got home that night, to his fourth floor apartment, he was thinking about making a phone call.

            His living room window faced the bay. He stood there with his phone in his hand, watching the sun go down, making up his mind. He felt foolish about the subject matter of his call.
            Mark knew a guy who worked for the county named Colin Kelly. A park ranger, married to a newspaper reporter. “The interesting thing about this reporter is that she writes, among other things, about these forest people as if she has met them,”  he thought, standing there holding his phone.
            Mark thought maybe Colin could talk to Millicent, his wife, about the big kid Squatch, just to see if maybe the head Squatch could put a little bit of a hamper on that Benny.
            As an aside, Mark wondered about that name. Why should a forest dwelling cryptid affect a human name? Was it a fad, like, well, any fad there ever was?
            He realized that he was dithering and punched in Colin’s number. He hoped Colin’s phone knew his number. Nobody answers unknown numbers. Not Mark anyhow.
            “Mark,” said Colin. “Been a while!”
            “Hi Colin. Thanks for picking up,” said Mark.
            “Is this business or BS, Mark,” asked Colin, good naturedly.
            “Funny you should ask, Colin. I’m not sure I can decide between those two,” said Mark. "Maybe both."
            “Interesting. You may as well spill it. I’m already hooked,” said Colin.
            “I can’t believe that these words are going to come out of my mouth, but they are. So, today, at work out on the Skagit I had a run in with a big goofy kid of a Sasquatch.
            “It took him some work to convince me that he was a real thing, but he was. Oh, yes, he was. The situation is that when he messes with picnickers, stealing their sandwiches and eating their cookies, well it becomes my problem. I am expected to fix the problem, without actually admitting what happened,” said Mark.
            “I think I see your problem there, Mark.  How can I help?” said Colin, with a sneaking suspicion that he knew perfectly well how he could help.          
            “For the sake of quiet and peace in the woods, and me not having this little problem, I wondered if Millicent might be able to instigate some sort of correction. You see? Could she contact that Ralph she writes about. Geez, Colin, I had no idea that stuff was true. I didn’t!
            “But she’s the only person I can imagine who has any contacts out there, yanno? I feel like I’m making an application for help from someone with an account in fairyland, but heck, I have to try,” said Mark.
            “I can’t think of anyone else, either,” said Colin, who didn’t admit that he himself knew Ralph as a personal friend, but not for as long as Millicent had.  “Why complicate things,” he thought to himself, very sensibly.
            “Mark, I’ll explain the situation to her tonight. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind passing the word along. I can’t guarantee anything. You know that, but I’ll let her know. OK?”
            On that note they ended their phone call. The sun finished setting, and soon it was night.
 
            Colin told Millicent the whole story after he shut his phone off. He made sure to mention the kid Squatch’s name. Benny. Benny the big joker, cutting a swath through Concrete, WA and Rasar park. Purloiner of picnics. Etc.
            Millicent thought about it overnight. She realized that, yes, this was something for Ralph to deal with. His domain, after all.  
            Therefore, when Maeve, who was back on her route after the accident and recovery, stopped by the newspaper office window the next morning, Millicent did have a message for her to carry back to Ralph. Neither Ralph nor Ramona could read, even though they speak good English, so it had to be word of beak messaging. Farfetched? Well, there it is. Maeve took off to find Ralph and pass the story on.
            He was in the river, enticing steelhead. So she had to wait, up on a big branch, keeping a close eye on the river.
            Eventually, all 9ft and 700lbs of Ralph emerged dripping from the water, with a string bag containing a dozen or so outraged steelhead. As he was still dripping Maeve lighted on his shoulder and started talking right into his ear.
            “Hey Boss, Millicent says her Colin knows a Washington state game guy named Mark Schwartz. Let me think. OK. Mark called Colin and told him a story about a young male Forest Keeper in Concrete who thinks he is a comedian and is making trouble at Rasar park with the visitors. Millicent wonders if you could speak to the boy in a way that would reach him.  Mark talked with him, but you now how it is. Mark is just human.
            “The kid’s name is Benny, the kid says,” said Maeve. “Who knows.”
            “Oh, a kidder huh?” laughed Ralph. “We’ll see about that! Benny, my rather large foot!”
 
            We must pause here for a moment. Recently it has come to our attention that Ralph got to Darrington by hitching a ride. Surely this couldn’t be right! What about those portals? Don’t he and his people get around by means of portals?
            It was posited, by this writer in fact, that there was a Time Turtle stuck in a portal making it unusable until it was dealt with. A charming conceit, no doubt, in its rustic way.
            In fact, the portals described by the compiler of the Ralph histories is inaccurate. Yes! They do not resemble elevator doors. They are not like a cave, or a closet. In fact, my dears, they have no physical manifestation at all. It is shocking, but true!
            The truth of the matter is that he hitched to Darrington for the fun of it. An adventure. A bit of an internal wager with himself. Could he get a ride? So he tried it, and you know the story.
            No, when Ralph needs to go somewhere, he has a different method. In a sense, he is already there. He does sing a little song, but not because the words are magic spells or anything like that. It just settles his mind, and “PING” he materializes where he wants to be! He does have to be careful to see a good place to land.
            Portals, as we have imagined, them are much easier to believe in. But then, that’s the whole thing, isn’t it?
           
            So, then, Ralph told Ramona he was going to find a kid and would be gone for a while. Hours, not days.
            Ralph appeared in Rasar park and wandered down to the Skagit there. It was broad and smooth in that location. He suspected that it was Benny’s favorite lurking spot, if what he had heard was anything to go by. This was borne out in fact.
            When Ralph found Benny he invited him home to meet the family and stay for a couple of days to talk things over. Benny was tickled to death to be invited home by Ralph. It was quite a privilege.
            Of course Ramona had seen which way the wind was blowing when Ralph left on his mission. She cooked all fifteen big fish, fed Twigg and Cherry and the puma bros, and waited for him to reappear with whoever he was sure to bring back.
            When she saw Ralph and Benny come down the trail towards the fire circle she was not one bit surprised. She just smiled at their approach.