The Bad Things They Did All Day

 

 

            “Toots, are you there, Honey?” said Suzie, a little exasperated.
            “I’m always here these days,” Toots mrrred back. She was at her usual station. “There was a time. Let me tell you when I roamed the world and I was not here. Well, until night when he called us in.”
            “I’ve never been able to roam. Tell me about it,” sighed Suzie.
            “It’s a lot bigger outside. There is no floor, nor walls. The outside goes on forever. Under your paws are dirt, or sand, or grass, or you can climb trees. If it’s raining you get wet. If the sun shines you get warm. If the wind blows you can feel it in your whiskers,” said Toots, looking a little pensive.
            “I just knew it would be different. A house is like a box with things in it,” said Suzie. “It sounds so wonderful outside!”
            “Ah, it’s wild out there. There are Tricky Dogs, Sneks, Bad Birds who will eat you right up! There are pretty good reasons for a small cat to not be out there!” Toots said. “I speak from experience.”

            There was a loud crash somewhere near Suzie…Sweetie ran by like his tail was on fire.
            “Look where I can go!” said Sweetie, furiously swarming up the painter’s easel. “You do it now! Come on, Booker!” he yowled. “Never noticed this thing before!”
            “But, what if she doesn’t like it?” said Booker, staring up at his brother, who was on the top crossbar staring at the ceiling as if he might suddenly take a flying leap at it.
            “What?” said Sweetie. “Who?”
            “Ma P. That’s her thing you’re climbing!” said Booker.
            “Wheeee! It’s great, I can see the whole house from up here!” exulted Sweetie.

            “Speaking of wild things, and danger, Toots, can you hear what’s going on in this house? They’ve run amok.”
            “Have they actually broken anything yet?” Toots asked.
            “No…. But they mess up all the rugs! And they claw at window screens! They jump inside the fridge, Toots! I never behaved like that in my whole life! I think they’re broken,” announced Suzie. “Something is Purrwackie™!”
            “Who’s Purrwackie™?” asked Mr. Baby as he strolled by Suzie, who appeared to be talking to herself again.
            “The curtain climbers,” huffed Suzie at his retreating back.
            “Aw, they’re good kids! You’re just jealous, Suzie,” laughed Mr. Baby, looking back and winking.
            “I must say, your boyfriend has a kindly outlook!” giggled Toots. “Maybe you should jump into the fridge and just see how exciting it is!”
            “You ought to see them there lurking behind the steak packages! Quite mad,” said Suzie. “And, he’s not my boyfriend! He’s fat!”
            “Booker too?” said Toots, gasping for air as she laughed.
            “Sometimes!” said Suzie.
            “Maybe you should try it! Let me know what happens,” said Toots.
            “I’d probably get trapped in there!” said Suzy, Cautiously!
            “Oh, OK. Maybe don’t sneak into the fridge,” said Toots. “Caution is always best!”
            On that note the conversation drew to a close. The house was suddenly quiet. The Scouts must have gone to bed. All was serene, unruffled, and quiet.
            The fridge hummed softly in the background.

😹😻