A Few Items of Fatherly Advice from Ralph

 

            Look, I know everybody already has a dad. And, dads try to tell you everything you need to know to get through life successfully. This is laudable, and necessary. I salute your progenitors, as a group!
            However, it struck me recently that you all might benefit from some timely advice from a devoted Forest Dad, me. Hear me out and see whether you agree.
 
            1.      Take time to dance! It squares you with the Universe. It removes grumpy moods and confuses the mosquitoes. Anybody can dance! When I do it, the earth giggles.
 
            2.      Stand on one leg often. Two legs make you really stationary. Be flexible and ready to go any direction at a moment’s notice. And if you get really good at it, you might be able to pick that leg up and just exist, in the air.
 
            3.      Only eat stuff that looks like what it is. Things that come in bags and boxes are made in the spirit of Ma’ii, the Trickster. Beware of artifice!
 
            4.      Get to know your local rocks. They know a lot. They were here before you, or me! Listen to them.
 
            5.      Water is good. Go swimming all the time. Salt water is very good. Most of this planet is covered in water. There is a lot to be discovered down there. Also, there are fish. Fish are edible.
 
            6.      Go outside when it’s storming. Get good and wet, and let your hair blow in the wind. Sing praises to the Maker while you are out there. When you hear thunder, be thankful. Lightning is an augmenter of perspective.
 
            7.      Don’t answer your phone! It only leads to trouble! Turn the ringer off. How can you stand that thing anyhow? If I had one, I would let Ramona bust it up, and bury it along some lonely highway.
 
            Since 7 is the ancient number denoting perfection, I’ll leave it at that. And, if you have young ones, be sure to hand down my admonishments. They will stand out among their fellows if they learn and follow my teachings. They will be almost like Forest People themselves, and this is a good thing!
            As always, all my best to you! I hope we meet soon, somewhere along the way.

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