It's Just Like Flipping A Quarter

 

 
            Milly had something on her mind. She usually did. She sat at her desk at the Milltown paper, tapping her pen on its surface. She was waiting for Maeve to check in for a morning chat at the window. The window was open even though it was winter and the air was pretty chill out there.
            Some guy in Arlington had written her at the paper about fairies, of all things. She thought he might be pulling her leg and had back-burnered that inquiry for the moment.
            She wanted to talk to Ralph about a YouTube program she had watched the night before. The guy had a theory about trees. These were trees which were turned upside down and jammed back into the earth at various places around the area. Milly knew that the man to ask was right out Highway 20. “Living in the woods, just like the song says,” she thought.
            Maeve hit the window frame with one of her theatrical thumps just as Milly was hearing the Amboy Dukes singing away in her memory.
            “Good morning, Milly,” said Maeve, tidying her feathers.
            “Come, in. Good morning. It’s getting cold in here,” said Millicent Price, newspaper columnist.
            Maeve obliged and Milly slammed the window shut. Maeve lighted on her desk where she could see the computer screen.
            “Look at this,” said Milly, who then turned on the video about the trees so that Maeve could get a preview of it. “I need to talk to Ralph. Would you set something up with him for tomorrow? I can drive out there. We haven’t had a lot of snow yet. I’ll bring lunch.
            “Let’s say noon, unless he can’t make it,” she said, knowing he probably could. “You can give me the word tomorrow morning. OK?”
            “OK,” said Maeve and Milly opened the window briefly so that she could take off.
            Therefore, after getting Ralph’s answer, Millicent went to the best local deli and bought a stack of corned beef sandwiches on rye with mustard and mayo. They had a display of chocolate bars, so she got half a dozen of those too.
            Thus prepared for the visit, she headed up the freeway to Arlington, took the 530 exit and so forth. There was a little snow on the sides of the highway, not much. If it didn’t start snowing soon, it was going to be dry downhill this summer for sure.
            When she parked, Ralph himself and Maeve, were waiting for her just inside the tree line. She had packed the sandwiches and chocolate in a big canvas bag, because she thought Ramona could use a canvas bag.
            She slung the bag on her shoulder and said, “Hey, Ralph! It’s been a minute hasn’t it?”
            “Anytime is a good time, Milly,” said Ralph and the three of them vanished from the sight of anyone passing, into the forest proper.
            Down at the fire, Ramona and Cherry were waiting.
            “I brought lunch, Ramona,” said Milly. “Greetings!”
            “It’s good to see you, Milly. Come and sit by the fire,” said Ramona.
            Ralph really liked the sandwich, so he had a second. Ramona thought it was great too. “Such exotic flavors!” she said. Cherry had hers cut in strips because it was a rather large sandwich. Blue had one too. Even Bob and Berry had a sandwich each, to be polite to the guest.
             Maeve liked hers so well that she had nothing to say. The chocolate was shared out, and Ramona made a pot of her cowboy coffee on the fire.
            While Milly was still finishing her sandwich, she said to Ralph, “I think you know what I was wondering about, don’t you?”
            “You saw a video by a guy who thinks he knows why trees get stuck upside down in the ground. What was his theory?” said Ralph. “I can’t wait!”
            “In the cold light of day, it sounds pretty far-fetched. In short, he thinks they are grub farms. He believes that the Forest Men crave grubs so much that they must be creating the conditions for the growth of more and more grubs, Ralph. In a nutshell, “ said Milly.
            Ralph laughed until he got lightheaded and had to catch his breath for a minute.
            Ramona smiled. “Some of us do eat grubs, but not like that!” she said.
            “That was pretty funny. I loved it. Poor guy doesn’t have a clue,” said Ralph.
            “OK, there are three main reasons for jamming a tree back into the ground upside down, Milly. The first reason a guy might shove a tree in the ground is to mark his area of influence. We don’t have boundaries, or own land, but we sure do have areas kind of like a target. Right at the tree is whoever central! Others respect these markers!
            “Oh, you know, it’s a thing young guys do to show off and prove how tough they are. A good toss that lands well is much admired among the young guys and the young girls too, I might add. Which relates to the third reason! This is probably the most important reason,” said Ralph.
            “Hang on, I’m writing,” said Milly, working away with pad and pen. “OK, go on.”
            “Sometimes a girl can’t make up her mind. Two young guys seek her hand in marriage, and a decision must be made. Like maybe, tossing a coin to let the Universe decide. Well, in this case the girl would promise to marry whichever fellow makes the best job of landing a tree upside down. It’s all about style, and plain success. The decision is final and no one may complain about the results. The contest is done in front of witnesses so it’s for sure. That’s about it,” said Ralph. “I can’t get over the grub farm,” he said, giggling again.
            “Ah, Hugh’s a nice guy. We like him,” said Ralph.
            “You’ve seen the video?” said Millicent.
            “No. We know Hugh, though,” said Ralph. “He means well, maybe some day I’ll tell him what gives.”
            “I gotta admit, that makes perfectly good sense,” said Milly.
            “Now I have a question for you, Ramona,” she continued. “So, did Ralph ever toss a tree for you?”
            “Well, no. I just went swimming one night in the moonlight. I had already made up my mind. No tree tossing needed!” said Ramona. “And in his wisdom, he took the clue! And now, here we all are!”
            “Absolutely!” said Millicent, with a grin. “Hey, Ramona I thought you might like a big canvas bag. It’s for you.”
            “I could use a nice strong bag,” agreed Ramona happily. “Thanks!”
            “I’m going to tootle on home now, and see what Colin’s up to,” said Milly.
            So, they said their goodbyes with promises to meet again soon.
            “Bring Colin some time,” said Ralph.
            “I will,” said Milly. Maeve followed her to the big green Escalade, just to make sure she got going OK, then flew back to the family by the fire.

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