Ralph vs The Open Road, Part 1

 

        One day that fall, Ralph got to thinking about all the roads that he and Millicent Price had traveled during all of their moving interviews. It wasn’t that he was discontented at home in the Great Forest among his loved ones. He was just very curious about everything out there.
            He was sitting with Ramoma the next morning as the sun came up by the fire circle. Such a beautiful morning that it made the heart ache for the sheer misty loveliness of it. Mist was drifting through the Home Clearing, and a diffident breeze was speaking to him.
            “The wind goes wherever it likes, and no one knows where that is,” he thought to himself.
            Then, “Mona, I’ve lived here in the Great Forest all of my life. It’s been perfect, and I know that. But the world is so big, and I have seen so little of it. I want to see more,” he said.
            “Well, I’m the same. I’ve never gone outside. I don’t really want to,” she said, taking a seat beside him where she could feel his solid warm substance. “Is there a way you could do that?”
            “I think there is. I’ve never done this before, because I had no need to,” said Ralph.
            “You would do that?” wondered Ramona.
“If I’m to go outside for a look around on street level without Milly, I will have to shift,” said Ralph.
            “Why don’t you try it now, when no one can see,” suggested Ramona. “I don’t think you can appear as a random Hairless person, you need a model. Who would be a good model?”
            “How about Ranger Rick, my most human friend?” mused Ralph.
            “Yes. That sounds good because you know him well,” said Ramona. “He’d be a good model for you.”
            So, Ralph smiled at Ramona and as he did, he took on the appearance of his friend Rick, whom he knew well.
            Ramona couldn’t help laughing, though it was a little scary to see Ralph looking like Rick.
            “You’re going to need to borrow some clothing from Rick, or Thaga or somebody, Ralph!” she giggled. “You can’t go exploring the world outside in your pink hairless skin like that!”
            “Oh! That’s right,” he said, shifting back to his native form. “Being Hairless must be a lot of fuss and bother! Imagine having to get dressed and put on shoes every morning. You’d be tired before you did anything else!”
            “I think they’re used to it pretty much. Ooog and Thaga and even Rick seem to get plenty done even with all that getting ready,” said Ramona.
            “It’s funny that the biggest problem I have going outside turns out to be clothing. I’m not sure how to get any. I might have to just show Rick and then borrow an outfit. I think he could handle it. Maybe. I hope so.”
            That decided, after breakfast, and playing with Cherry and Blue for a little bit, Ralph strolled on over to the Ranger Station. He found Rick indoors, fiddling around writing a report or something on his Lenovo.
            Ralph let himself in and took a seat facing Rick. Rick kept an oversized oak fat boy chair in front of his desk for Ralph or anyone else who appeared before him.
            “What’cha got, Ralph?” said Rick, still tapping away.
            “I got a wild and crazy idea, Rick. I’m not sure you can handle it, but you’re a pretty centered guy, so maybe?” said Ralph.
            Rick stopped typing and just looked at Ralph, waiting.
            “OK. It’s like this. I want to go take a look outside my domain here. Right? But I can’t do it looking normal. I have to look like one of you guys. I tried it with Mona this morning and it worked, but as I found out, I can’t just look like one of you guys with no clothes and go out to look around like that. So, I was wondering if I could borrow an outfit to wear, Rick,” said Ralph.
            “Ralph, old buddy, that’s the weirdest thing you ever said to me,” said Rick, with a wry nod.
            So, Ralph just smiled real big and did his thing. In a few seconds it was like Rick was looking at his identical twin, but a naked twin. His mouth dropped open, and he was rendered speechless.
            “See how it is, Rick?” said Ralph.
            “I guess I don’t need to really believe this, just kind of go with it, huh,” muttered Rick. “Yeah, sure, I have some stuff in the back. Come on, uh, Ralph,” he said.
            In Rick’s back room, hanging on some hooks were a pair of Levis, a  red and black checked flannel shirt and a worn denim jacket. Rick instructed Ralph about how to put this stuff on. He also had a pretty shot pair of high top Converse sneakers. Rick had to explain about those too. He didn’t have any spare socks handy, so Ralph had to go without those or underwear.
            “I dunno, Ralph. I just hope this doesn’t backfire somehow,” said Rick.
            “Thanks, Rick. I’ll bring them back when I’m done with them,” Ralph assured Rick.
            “Nah. Never mind. Keep them, burn them, put them on a bear, I don’t care. Just don’t get into trouble out there. I hope you don’t run into Sheila!” said Rick. That last idea kind of struck him as Ralph was going out of the office door and heading for the Home Clearing.
            What Ralph actually did was to vanish in amongst the trees and take off the borrowed outfit, resume his normal shape, bundle it all up and then stroll back home with the bundle under his arm. As he strolled along, Maeve caught up with him.
            “Boss, that was freaky. I don’t know what to say,” she said, talking anyhow.
            “Pretty neat trick, huh? I bet you thought I was Rick!” chortled Ralph.
            “Does Ramona know about this,” said Maeve, like the old bossy tail she was.
            “Yup, Birdy! Mona knows all!” said Ralph.
            “Evermore,” Maeve muttered underneath her breath.

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