Buddy the Cat and Willie Strike Up A Conversation and are Overheard!

       

"Are you there....?"

         

            I just happened to catch ol' Buddy the Cat with his eyes half open staring into the sliding glass door just after dark. At first I thought he was dozing, but I began picking up some sort of catversation going on. Now, my radar is pretty finely tuned when it comes to the old boy. Even so, I could pick up only his half of the dialog...

        (A jolly collaboration between JWM  and me.)
 
            “Hey, who're you? I’ve never seen a guy staring back at me in the glass! Are you friendly?” said Buddy the Cat.
            “Oh, heck yeah! I’m friendly as picnic in the park. I mean if we ever got to do anything like that. My people called me Willie, thank everything that’s holy! The rescue kids called me Fancy Lance! Oh my goodness. I was so afraid that would be my name forever!
            “Suzy, here in Washington, and Toots and sometimes Sammie, who live in Texas, the nexus of the Schmexus, yak all the time. They stare into the shiny thing, whatever shiny thing it is, until they can see and hear each other. I wanted to try it too with a guy cat. I’m surrounded by females. It’s good and bad, you know?” said Willie, delighted to have made contact.
            “Hi, Willie. My human, John,  calls me Buddy the Cat, and we live in California! What's it like there in Washn'ton?”
            “Well, see, that’s the thing, Buddy. We hardly know, Suzzo and me, what’s going on out under the sky. We have to stay in the house because of traffic because we live downtown, or what passes for downtown in this burg.
            “We know that the light is dim many days, and we can hear rain falling on the porch an awful lot. It’s like that in the fall, the winter, and a lot of the spring too! When the sun shines people in Worshington wear sunglasses even more than people in sunny places! Well, I overheard that anyhow. How would I know? I haven’t done a poll on the matter!
            “I’m planning on busting out of here one of these days! I’m working on a plan. I might even let Suzy come if she doesn’t cry like a scaredy cat little sister about it.
            “So, Buddy, it’s good, but darned frustrating for a minor lion or two, ya know?” yakked Willie, at length.
            “Wow,” said Buddy. “We get rain once in a while! Then people drive crazy, like it’s a monster snow storm and they’re all gonna die on the freeway, of exposure, or stupid or something. I hear that people in other parts of the country say that California is the land of fruits and nuts! That’s rude, but they might have a point.
            “Most of the time it’s dry and sunny. Every human has a tan! It’s hard to tell them apart sometimes.”
            Buddy continued, “do you have an important job there in the house? I do! John really needs me here, I’ll tell you!”
            “I help with music, for one thing. If it’s bad I get up and leave, so she knows it’s bad. I sit on the cat shelf on the desk and keep an eye on the work. I help with word choices and make sure the punctuation isn’t too juvenile,” said Willie.
            “The writing is the main thing most of the time. And then I sit on both of them to keep them calm and I use the purring sedation. You know how that goes. It quiets them right down. I keep a sharp eye on her especially because she take notions!” said Willie.
            “Then I roll over and show my belly, like a goof, and she forgets all about her crazy notions, at least for a while. Cuteness rules, Baby!”
            “Writing? You mean that tappety tippity thing with the glowing picture on top? Me, too! I sit under the picture, and hold onto his arm, so he doesn't get cold, or type bad words. I help with naps, too. Every day My human has to sleep on the couch, and I stretch out on his chest. That's the best part of the day! I’m pretty sure there is no way he could sleep if I wasn’t there,” said Buddy.
            “Yes. I don’t know why so much time is spent looking at that thing. They could be going for rides and taking us along! I know, I know, writing! But, Buddy old boy, what is writing? Can you tell me? I know it’s like talking, but it doesn’t float away like regular talking and disappear. It stay somehow, somewhere, so it can be found again. It’s preserved talking. Do they gotta be so weird?
            “Buddy, I just want out of here once in a while. Do you know how long it’s been since I hunted? Forever! That’s how long. I can’t even remember sinking my fangs into a mouse or a bird! It’s been that long, dude. I forgot!” cried Willie in exasperation. “I’m getting kind of old you know? I was born somewhere in Yakima in 2016!

            "Yeah, I have to help them sleep. I purr em down!"
            “There is another cat who lives here, too. He's called Skinnies. He's mostly nice, but kind of a bum. He shows up for food, and hangs around for a while, but then he leaves for what he calls house two, or house three. I don't where those houses are. And I wouldn't go there anyway. My human says it's dangerous! He must know! I sure don’t, and I can’t believe a doggone thing Skinnies says. He has learned the art of prevarication, to get along with three houses full of humans,” confided Buddy.
            “Oh!” said Willie. “I have a sister. Suzy. The scardiest scaredy cat you ever saw! But I look out for her.  What else can I do? She runs when they put food in the dish! She never learns. That is not dangerous! It’s fine! Oh, why am I yelling at you?” said Willie, loudly.
            “Well, the other human here is Mary. She's nice, too. Sometimes they sit and talk, and I run in, and jump up on John's lap to sit and talk, too. John says I have lots to say. He says I'm the noisiest cat in the world! I'm very proud of that,” said Buddy, with a secret cat smile of satisfaction.

*0*

Meanwhile….

            (“Toots! Tooooots! Did you hear that? I know you’re there,” said Suzy with a little giggle. “Willie snuck off and tried out KittyComm™ on his own! And he managed to find somebody who would put up with his line of gum-flappery!” Suzy whispered.)
 
            “Willie? You're kind of fading out. You have to go? Important cat stuff? I sure understand that! Let's talk again! This was fun!” said Buddy, also fading a little himself.
            (“Aw. It’s cute,” said Toots, but also laughing. “He managed it on his own. But what a lot of opinionated doggie kibble he talks! Meow! But I thought Buddy the Cat sounded like a very nice fellow. I wonder if he would like to talk to a lady cat sometime?” mused Toots.
            “Oh! Oh!” said Suzy, excitedly. “Well, I’m sure that Willie could introduce you to that fine gentleman cat, Toots!”
            They both dissolved into giggles and left KittyComm™ for that night.)
            Transmission Ended…

🤍