In Which Ralph Answers A Few Queries

 

A Few Questions For Ralph

Millicent Price

 
    
            Some of my readers have called or written to me wondering if I would be willing to convey a few questions to Ralph since we have a good working relationship.
            I agreed, of course, thinking that it was an excellent idea. The following is the fruit of our latest conversation which took place in an undisclosed location, of course.
 
*One gentleman asks: What’s your relationship with Ranger Rick like?
 
            “Oh, we’re friends. He’s cool. But he has a professional reputation to protect. So he pretends not to know anything to do with any Forest People. But he also keeps the park admin off our backs, you know? He runs interference if anyone official gets a little nosy about how things work in the park. He and I run the park, not them.  Know what I mean?
            “It’s a balancing act. He “knows nothing” and makes sure no one else does either! If anyone wanted to mess with him they would hear from me!”
 
*A young reader, quite local, asks: What is your advice about picking and eating mushrooms in the forest?
 
            “Aw, come on dude. Is that a trick question? Learning mushrooms is like learning to read. You have to put in your time and get it right, or you’ll run out of time!
            “I can’t teach you that in an interview question. Get yourself somebody with lots of mushroom experience and GO OUT in the woods with them and see up close which ones they pick! There is no short cut.”
 
*My own question is: How has learning to speak as we do, in English, changed you? Or has it?
 
            “Somebody, maybe it was Thaga, I can’t remember where I heard stuff all the time, said that you become responsible for what you know. As it turns out Saslingua is a rather basic language. It deals mostly with day to day life and interactions between us. Also there is some dreaming and poetry.
            “But English bestows a whole lot of complicated information on us, and it grows constantly. I mean there are more and more ideas all the time, just from talking with various of you Hairless. Lol. Relatively hairless that is.
            “So, the words have forced us to take positions that we would never have had to consider before! It’s a burden in a way.
            “An example? Let me see. Well, there’s all the stuff in the sky. Space. Stars and planets. We just enjoyed them before. Now we must accept or reject various points of view about what these things are and our relationship to them. Like that.”
 
*One girl wants to know: How do you stay relaxed in trying times?
            “Aw honey, I’m almost always relaxed. I have to think about why. Hm. I guess the most important thing is that I’m pretty much afraid of nothing. Sure, I’m big and strong, but it’s not just that. I have a rock solid kinda childish knowledge clear down to my bones that the Holy Maker of All is there, everywhere, in everything and that for reasons of his own goodness, He loves me.
            “I walk around knowing that. He is good and He loves me and you. Nothing that happens in life can take that away. Keep it in mind. It’s a matter of perspective.”
 
*The same young lady asks: What make a good father?
 
            “Important questions. I won’t pretend it’s easy or automatic. I think this question is related to your first question in a way. Levels of authority. A good father knows that he is under authority. This higher authority, your word is God, requires certain things of him.
            “Once he is a father his life is not only about himself. He must live sacrificially or fail as a father.  He must give up his own time. He must make sure that his child and its mother have what they need. He must teach his child.
            “This sounds heavy, but it’s supposed to be a joy and a privilege. It is to me. I have a lot of fun with my kids. I like em. They’re the best thing I have going after Ramona.”
 
*Another question that came in: Why do you think we Hairless don’t have your special abilities?
 
            “I really don’t know. It’s something I wonder about too. Partly, it’s just how we’re made I guess. But really, I bet that if some of you would just relax your minds and go with it you could do some these things that seem uncanny to you. Belief makes worlds of difference.
            “I don’t know if you could really vanish if you sang my little vanishing song, but I think you could walk unseen by an enemy if your mind was right. Fear makes you vulnerable. You can’t let fear lead you around looking like a victim.
            “I know you could do healing and waking the dead. Why not? The Maker said to do it!
 
*Another reader asks: Who taught Maeve to talk?  Is it a good thing? She seems awfully gossipy!
 
            “I don’t think she needed a teacher. She just hung around us until she picked it up too. Or maybe she already knew.  She is a fey old bird. Some ravens are just big black birds, and some are Ravens. Since she is a good old bird, she doesn’t partake of the raven’s dire reputation, according to some who fear them.
            “One man’s gossip is another man’s information, though she can dish it out if she wants!!
            “She is great for carrying messages! Couldn’t do without her!
            “I hope that answered the heart of your question, and didn’t just add complication.”
 
*Another: How long do you Squatches live in regular human years?
 
            “It’s all relative! If I lived in Milltown in a house on a street I might only live 80 or 90 years. It’s something about where I live. In our transcendent world inside the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest who knows? There is a timeless element to it. We may just live on!
            “That’s a complicated way of not giving you a straight answer.  Best I can do is, it depends.
            “I think I will always be there though.”

*One reader asks: Ralph, what do you do just for the fun of it?

            "Oh, most everything! When I was younger I liked to prank the Hairless, before I knew any of you to talk to. I try to resist, but once in a while.....

            "It's hard to pick. I love hanging out on my log, smoking a cigar and having a beer with anyone who might wander by for a chat. I really like just talking. It's a great invention, language!

            "I really love floating down the river and grabbing fish. I love just sitting around our fire.

            "Some of the most fun things are just playing with Twigg and Cherry and the puma bros!"

                                                                '
 
*Final question, unless more comes in later: Ralph, what is your best word to the Hairless?
 
            “My best advice is for you guys is to follow directions. You know, you got the same ones we got. Love your Maker and take care of each other. Be decent. You know what that is. We’re all trying to live up to that standard, out here in the woods too. It’s a high calling, simple but profound.”
 
Thanks Ralph. You’ve been a good sport. Thanks for giving the reader’s questions some serious thought.
Give your family my love. MP