Maurice Books It Outta There

 

            He was still thinking about what to say at the wedding of Candace and Ferdy. It was a first for Ralph.  Even the king is a novice sometimes. This was one of those times.
            So, when Maurice showed up, Ralph wasn’t entirely discommoded. In fact, a break from thinking seemed like a good idea.  It would give him fresh insight, somehow, later.
            He was hanging around the fire, holding Cherry, and saying lines inside his head over and over to see what they sounded like. He was thinking this was awful fancy for a Squatch wedding. Why, in the old days you just kinda winked at the family and split with your girl and everybody knew the score. It was probably Thaga’s influence.  Such a modernizer. No doubt there would also be flowers.
            “I’ve had it!” a voice yelped nearby. “Ralph, are you there?” A feral howl echoed through the forest.  And again. Small animals and birds left the area.
            Ralph perked up.  It was Maurice, for sure. Maurice probably needed some help of some kind!
            “Yeah. I’m over by the fire. What’s up?” The howling had awakened Cherry. Ralph popped into the cave to deposit her with Ramona and came back out to the fire.
            “I’m done, Ralph,” howled Maurice, appearing suddenly. His fur looked ratty, and he was skinnier than usual. “Dang it to Tacoma and back.  Milltown is worse, if you can feature that, baby!”
            “What happened, last time I saw you, you said, ‘things to do, things to do!’ What did you do,” asked Ralph quizzically.
            “I auditioned with a bunch who wanted a metal screamer.  A natural, right? They all lived together in a stinky house down by the bay that was full of cats. Full of cats, who all had names and numbers.  How was I supposed to know that?”
            “Maurice…..”
            “There are an awful lot of cats in the world Ralph. Maybe too many.  You get me?”
            “So, that didn’t work out, right?” said Ralph, eyebrows up. He made a mental note to keep an eye on Berry and Bob, just in case.
            “So, after that. I got a gig at Burger King on Broadway. Most of what I was supposed to do was keep the dining room swept and take out the garbage. You know the garbage at these places is full of food. What did they expect was going to happen?”
            “I dunno Maurice. What happened?”
            “They caught me eating leftovers out of the bins. Said it didn’t look good.  I was grossing out the customers.” Maurice’s muzzle wrinkled up with disgust as such fastidiously delicate people. His canine teeth popped into view. One was broken.

            “What happened to your fang there Maurice. Isn’t that new?”
            “Hm. Yeah. It’s new,” said Maurice without further explanation.
            “Tell ya what,” said Ralph. “I have a new stash of some local fancy brew that kid brings me out there.  He likes to frequent the one man operations.  They have an Irish pub in town that makes their own. How about it?”
            They strolled out to the big cedar log together. Maurice had calmed down. Ralph just has that effect on creatures.  He’s a calming influence. Maybe it has something to do with his sheer bulk. Like gravity or something.
            Perched amiably together they sampled the fancy beer. It seemed to suit both of them.
            “So, what are you going to do now,” said Ralph.
            “I’m heading east baby. I’m going back, I’ve decided,” said Maurice. “But I don’t know where to get a train out here.”
            “You want Skykomish. It’s an old train town. Nobody would notice you slipping into a boxcar there. They aren’t expecting it. You can get one going right straight east there and change in Spokane or maybe Boise. Doesn’t matter.  They all go east.”
            “I don’t even remember why I came over here,” mused Maurice. “Oh yes I do. The townspeople burnt my house down. Well, it was deserted. Who cares? But they did. There are lots of deserted buildings back there. They just leave them to rot.” He looked tired and defeated, which wasn’t a good look for the Ozark Howler.
            “Look, Maurice. Chin up!  I can send you to Skykomish easy, so you don’t have to hike it.  It’s a ways away buddy. I wouldn’t do this for just anybody you know? And hey, if you ever come back, well you know I’m always here and you know how to find me, right?”
            “Thanks Ralph,” said Maurice. “I won’t forget.”
            So, Ralph put Maurice in one of those spatial interfaces that he was handy with, which dropped Maurice off right down by the old station building in Skykomish, at twilight, so that he could take his pick of eastward bound trains.
            Then he went back to thinking up wedding vows.
            He had seven days to get ready.  Surely he would have it by then. Then he thought maybe I better get Ramona to help.