Somebody Had To Ask Ralph

For demonstration purposes only!

            Just to backspace a little, you remember Dexter, Ranger Rick’s understudy, trainee Forest Ranger of course. As it happens Dexter had a hobby. When he wasn’t at the campground doing his lawful duties and chatting up Hannah, the camp host, he was exploring caves in the PNW.
            These are very special caves, tunnels in the lava flows of many moons ago. Where these caves or tunnels might be located is a separate story.
            Additionally, we know that Ralph likes to have a little chat with his friend Ranger Rick from time to time, and with luck, maybe the man would have some pastry to share too. Never a bad deal.
            So, with Alderheart, the tree spirit, safely tucked into a living column of the Alder Tree House and everything serene at home under the eye of Ramona, he decided to take a little stroll to the Ranger Station. It was a good way to catch up on the world a little, on Rick’s laptop computer.
            For Ralph, it’s a short and pleasant wander from the heart of the Great Forest, i.e. the Home Clearing, to the domain of Man, the Ranger Station and campground. It might take you or I a little longer and we might get lost. No matter.
        When he emerged from the woods, by the dumpster, he saw that Rick’s service vehicle was parked in its usual spot. He gave it a little smack on the hood. It was cold. Rick had been there for a while.
        Ralph gave a little knock on the office door to announce his arrival, opened it up and stuck his head in.
            “Rick! Are you in here?” he said.
            “Nope. I’m gone, Ralph,” said Rick.
            “Darn,” said Ralph, coming in and locating his buddy seated at his desk. He was watching something on the screen facing him.
            Ralph took a seat in the extra big chair facing Rick.
            “Whatcha watchin’?” said Ralph.
            “Some guy, this Canadian, talking about how you guys live in caves all over the country,” said Rick, turning the laptop around so Ralph could see too.
            Before either of them could say another word, Dexter, himself, came into the office. He startled a little when he saw Ralph, but not too badly. He had a box in his arms, just like about the right size to hold cookies.
            Dexter took a look at the screen and said, “I’ve seen that one. Hey, Hannah made cookies! Oatmeal, raisin, and walnut! Anybody brave enough to try them?”
            “Why, certainly, Dexter, my boy! Rustle us up some coffee, and we’ll all check them out," said Rick.
            “Hey, Ralph!” said Dexter. Then he went to the kitchen nook to make a new pot of coffee.
            “Dexter is a caver,” said Rick. Ralph raised his eyebrows and nodded.
            In about ten minutes all three were drinking coffee and sampling some of Hannah’s cookies. They must have been OK cookies because nobody was talking.
            “You should probably marry her,” said Rick. Dexter blushed.
            “That’s sort of the plan, once I get her to agree,” murmured Dexter.
            Maybe to change the subject, Dexter turned to Ralph. He said, “So, I’ve been in many local caves. I started exploring when I was about 15.
            “This Canadian wants us to believe that you Forest People live in underground tunnels and caves and use them for ways to get around, and to escape attention. It seems like it could be possible. There’s certainly enough room in the underground. There is even water in some caves back east mostly. I guess his idea is that you come up to the surface to hunt. I’m not sure what all he thinks.
            “Now, maybe it’s because they heard me coming, but I’ve never seen anybody living in any cave I’ve been in.,” said Dexter.
            “So, yeah, Ralph, what say you, since you should know?” said Rick, grinning.
            Ralph sat there, smiling, then he laughed. “I’m a mammal, right?”
            “Far as I can tell, you sure look like a mammal,” said Rick.
            “Did you see any other mammals living in any of those caves?” Ralph asked.
            “No, some bats,” said Dexter. “I guess they’re mammals though.”
            “Yeah, nocturnal mammals. Well, now, my mother and father, my brothers and sisters, Uncle Bob and Aunt Suzie, and every other Forest Keeper that I know, loves the sunshine, and the moon and stars. We love the wind, the rain, and the snow. We love the forest. Some love the deserts. We love the mountains, and the rivers, and the great salt waters.
            “Maybe some of our extended tribes do use the caves for a refuge, or for travel, but I don’t know of anyone who lives in caves.
            “I think that whole deal is a story based on fear of the dark and the unknown,” said Ralph. “You humans have a great capacity for fear of the unknown, I’ve noticed.”
            “I can’t imagine what Mona would say if I suggested we go underground!” said Ralph.
            They finished off the pot of coffee and the two dozen cookies.
            “Thanks, Ralph. I see your point,” said Dexter.
            “Thank you guys for the coffee and cookies. Hannah did a great job. Maybe I’ll go see what Mona thinks about living underground!”
            Ralph was giggling at the idea as he left the office and headed home.

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