Saturday, November 1, 2025

He Was Thinking of Making An Offer

 


 

            One windy blustery day in the fall, not that weather really bothers either of them, Uncle Bob came to talk to Ralph while he was toasting his toes by the fire. A pretty solid rain was falling too, but it kind of evaporated when it got over the fire. It was a good place to hang out.
            “Hey, Bob! Come and sit down by the fire,” said Ralph. “You look like you’ve been thinking too much! You can get into trouble that way!”
            “Hey, Ralphie! You’re right!” said Uncle Bob.
            “Hi, Bob,” said Ramona who was sitting beside Ralph. “Come and sit!”
            “What’s the prob, Bob,” said Ralph, who was actually feeling rather jolly at the moment.
            “It’s Suzie. She wants me to catch fish! I don’t know how to sing to them like you. I was wondering if you could show me how to sing them in,” said Uncle Bob hopefully. “I don’t know how to catch them the old way. I’m too slow.”
            “You’re right, Bobbie! The old way takes a long time, and you have to really be quick about it. Sure, I can show you. Let’s go fishing right now! Hang on, I’ll get my fish sack. You better get a fish sack somewhere too!” said Ralph, rising and stretching.
            He popped into the cave where he had a burlap bag hanging on a nail hammered into the back of the door. Cherry was napping in there, but he managed to get in and out without waking her or Blue.
            “Mona, we’ll be back in a flash with the fish! Prepare yourself!” said Ralph who had been kind of wishing for something interesting to do.
            “OK, Baby,” said Ramona. “Get lots for Suzie too!”
            As you know, it’s but a short walk to the river. The path goes past the rabbit burrows and then out into the open where the river moved, silver and swollen under the rainy sky. The river was so full that some of the rocks Ralph and family were accustomed to sit on were covered by water.
            Ralph and Uncle Bob stood by the river, watching it flow. Many are the investigators who would have prized a look at them. Ralph, 9 feet tall, with the rain running down his face and hair, and Bob who only goes about 7 feet, kind of saggy and dusty looking but still a desirable specimen of Squatchood.
            “What I do is sit right down close to the river and sing. I’ll let you in on a little secret. It doesn’t really matter what words you sing. Fish can’t understand words, but they do understand your call. It’s your intention that calls them to you and lets you pick them up. You gotta mean it and believe it. You gotta believe that they are meant for you. You might need to talk to yourself about that a little bit first,” said Ralph.
            “OK, Ralphie! I’m not used to being bossy, but for Suzie I’ll try!” said Uncle Bob. He looked over the water thinking as hard as he could and his face changed a little. He looked less saggy and dusty and his eyes sharpened.
            Uncle Bob squatted right by the river’s edge where it ran quick and deep. He began to sing:
            “Beautiful fishes, silver and quick,
            Come to me now! Lovely fishes, sons of the river,
            Water spirits, I’m calling you!
            Daughters of the rain and sky,
            Come to me!”
            His voice was low and soft like a storm wind just beginning to move the trees, elemental and compelling.
 
            And come to him they did. First one, then another. Just as quickly as he could pick one up, another would be waiting for him. Soon he had the bag half full of shining wriggling fish.
            “See, Bob, you’re a different man now,” said Ralph happily. “I believe you have enough for my fire and yours too!”
            “Everything looks different, Ralphie” said Uncle Bob. “I never knew!”
            Since they were talking and everything, Ralph said, “Hey, Bob. I’ve been thinking about something. I’ve been wondering about a bargain with all these curious humans.”
            “What kind of bargain?” said Bob.
            “I was thinking that maybe Millicent could set up an appointment for me with some doctors and scientists, I don’t know who of course, so that they could examine me and get the answers to all their questions. All I would ask then is that they stop all this creeping around and spying and searching. They would know. I would answer their questions. And it would be over.
            “What do you think about that, Bob?” said Ralph.
            “No, no, no, Ralphie! No!” cried Uncle Bob.
            “It wouldn’t be over! It would never be over! The search would be just beginning! They would want to know more and more! They would want to catch someone, or many, and put them in zoos or something!
            “There are many good people, but many are not so good, Ralph,” said Uncle Bob with tears in his eyes. “Better if they have to guess and wonder. They aren’t like you.”
            “Aw, you’re right, Bob. I’m sorry if I scared you! Sometimes I wonder where ideas come from,” said Ralph. “When I said it out loud, it scared me too.
            “Let’s go. We have some fish to deliver.”
            And so they did. And there were plenty of fish to go around.

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