Vanessa and Flossie Show How It's Done

         

   The problem: Nightly alfresco dining in neighborhood backyard gardens.  So far, no one had even caught a glimpse of the diner.  So, the Milltown cop shop brought in a pair of expert detectives, known far and wide to always catch their "man."
 

           One was Capt. Vanessa Stein, a stone-cold owl, small but hard and wise. Who else? 

Can you spot her? Most can't! She's undercover here!

To assist there was Det. Flossie Henley, who only looks soft!

Det. Henley has a fantastic record of arrests.

That yellow fuzz fools 'em every time!

Now you see her, now you don't! 

They never see her coming, until it's too late.

            After a whole lot of hanging around in various vegetable gardens at night, bored and cold, and a lot of mistaken arrests of cats and little people, who may have actually been contributing to the problem, Vanessa and Flossie solved the case. 

            Usually at around 2AM, Larry, an itinerant local Squatch was helping himself to homegrown tomatoes, raw garlic, kale, zucchini, the whole bit. He was leaving gardens in a shambles of uprooted stalks and huge footprints. 

            Yeah, it was this guy. How is it possible that no one saw him, until Flossie and Vanessa sat around and put in the hours? Hard to say. I mean, look at him! He's the size of two steers together.

            "People sleep too much," said Capt. Stein. "We don't sleep. Sleep is for the weak."

            Flossie just waved a hand and shook her head. On no planet would Det. Henley be considered weak, floof aside.

            Larry's hang-up was that he had been convinced that he should eat only vegan food, and it turned him bad. Obviously.  (I blame YouTube.com.)

            He, Larry, was given a choice. Stomp on back to the Great Forest or work for the city of Milltown, as a trash collector. 

            Larry chose to wander back to the woods! That was a very wise move on Larry's part. Good "man," Larry.

💚

The End

September 25, 2022, Open Thread

 We stopped to photograph Mt. Hood.

            Of course, we're having a photo page, open thread today, but please remember to keep Purring!

            That's the most important thing!

            I bless each of you to the best of my ability!

🤍

A Perfect Moment for a PowerPurr™

 

Purrfect position for Purring. Demonstration model only.

🤍

            Suzy was just up here on the desk trying to get my attention. Finally, I noticed that she wasn’t just acting like a cat, but that there was something on her mind. She indicates this by tapping my elbow until I pay attention to her. This was on Tootsday afternoon, yesterday, ofcourse.
            What she wanted to tell me was that the cats are calling for a general cat and people PowerPurr™ for September 3^rd, Wednesday, all day.
            “Sure, Suzy,” I said. “I’ll tell everybody. And I’m sure that they and I would be proud to Purr with our beloved cats! Why, great things happen when we Purr together!”
            How the cats do this is to close their eyes, bow their little heads, get into perfect loaf position and just purr their little hearts out! And when it’s done with intention and all together at the same time, bondages are broken, and healings are manifested too.
            If such is the case, just imagine the power if we all joined them! We can resonate with them in any position that seems appropriate.
            The vibrations from that would shake everything back into position!               Amen? So be it?

🌸

           
 
This is also an Open Thread! Of course! All threads around here are Open Threads!

📖

So, Let It Be

 

            The first item of note was that there was quite a bit of snow on the ground. Even Ranger Rick’s little station parking lot had a nice fresh 6 inches of fluffy overnight snow lying on it. The canvas was ready.
            The second item of note was Maeve. High above the tops of the firs, she coasted, using just a few wing beats to stay aloft. The wind did the rest.
            Maeve’s point of view is a marvelously beautiful thing. It gives her a special perspective on things. Up there, the sky is uncluttered by the stuff of land. It’s a clear mystic medium, and she is its oracle. The sky stretches out, the land reaches up, and Maeve soars between them.
            Then there is this; Maeve saw activity down below. She saw something moving around in that parking lot. It was still quite a while before Rick should be unlocking the door and starting his day. Some trees blocked her line of sight. She needed to drop down closer and get a more accurate take on this crack of dawn business.
            Maeve parked herself on the roof of the station to watch. From there she could see it all, and it was something to see!
            There were two of them. They were dressed all in black from head to toe, with hoods. They were giggling in hushed tones. As Maeve watched one of them pulled something out of the back of their old station wagon.
            It was a rather large box. When the box was opened the head guy, it looked like, pulled out two sets of enormous feet.
            Now, these feet weren’t stiff and wooden like regular fake Sasquatch feet. Oh no! These were rubbery and yielding. They were very footlike, actually.
            “These are yours, Dave,” sniggered one of the guys to the other one.
            “Shhhh, thanks Markie,” said Dave, the shorter of the two forest “ninjas.”
            “This ain’t gonna take long! But, it’s gonna be great!” said Markie.
            Maeve watched Markie and Dave pull a trainer off of one foot, stick that foot in a big prosthetic foot, throw the shoe in the back of the station wagon, and then do the same with the other foot.
            “I can’t believe this,” she gurgled quietly to herself.
            “Meldrum will slaughter us if he ever figures it out,” said Markie.
            “That is correct,” mumbled Dave, sounding less enthusiastic than he had minutes before. Perhaps it was just the picture in his mind of the doctor’s reaction to the prank.
            Apparently Markie and Dave were university habitués of some sort.
            Nevertheless, Markie and Dave set to work on the parking lot. When Markie said “that’s enough” it was a sight to behold. One had paced around the building. One left tracks up to the old bear-proof dumpster. There was a lot of random walking apparently. Both of them walked into the forest by that path behind the dumpster, but both started feeling hinky. So they didn’t do any more of that.
            But they did a good job of it. The foot prints were lined up in straight lines just like they should be, almost to a fault.
            They stomped all over the spot where they had been standing in their trainers. They crawled into the back of the station wagon, pulled off the big rubbery feet, put their shoes back on, shut the back of the car from the inside. Then they had to crawl up to the front seat. Markie pulled the car up a bit, Dave got out with a broom and tidied up some more, then threw the broom in the back of the car and they took off.
            Maeve had seen quite enough. She set out to find Ralph without hesitation.
            When she got to the fire circle, there was a nice layer of untouched snow on everything. A small column of smoke rose from the coals within the rock circle. None of the family were awake yet. She flew up to a sheltered branch to wait. Waiting was hard for Maeve. She didn’t care for it at all. She began muttering to herself about how she would describe what she had seen. She walked up and down her branch, keeping a black eye open for Ramona or Ralph.
            Eventually Ramona appeared blowing smoky breath out and knocking chunks of firewood together to get the snow off of them before she put them in the coals.
            “I need to talk to Ralph,” sang Maeve on her way down through the air.
            “He won’t be long, Maeve. What’s up,” said Ramona.
            “I just watched two guys make fake Forest Keeper footprints all over Ranger Rick’s parking lot,” said Maeve, all in a rush. “I have to tell Ralph!”
            “OK, Honey. I’ll go get him for you,” said Ramona agreeably. She ducked into the cave.
            In a moment Ralph came out with Ramona. He brushed snow off of one of the logs and sat down. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.
            “Hello Maevie. What’s all the excitement about this morning?” he said.
            So, she told him all about seeing the two men from way up in the sky, and then watching what they were doing, then deciding she had better report it to  him.
            “That’s interesting. Let’s go take a quick peek, Maeve. I want to see this before it melts or people walk all over it!” said Ralph.
            She sat on his shoulder, and he walked the two of them over to the parking lot to admire Markie and Dave’s work.
            Ralph bent over and looked closely at the artificial tracks. “Not bad, Maeve. Not bad at all! These fake feet were obviously cast off of some real track castings, in some kind of soft medium! Ooo! Wait till that doctor catches up with them!!”
            “But, Ralph, this is terrible! It will attract Bigfoot hunters and all kinds of news riffraff!” Maeve said urgently.
            “No, listen, Maeve. Let it be. This is alright. I’ll tell Rick about it, so he doesn’t get the wrong idea and maybe wipe the prints out or something,” Ralph was thinking. While he thought, he kind of pulled at his chin whiskers in a thoughtful fashion.
            “Let’s let the first people to come here discover them. Then, when someone who knows something examines what we have here, and analyzes it, they will understand that these are not real tracks, however well done they seem to be. This expert will notice that they are too close together, the stride isn't nearly long enough, and also the tracks aren't deep enough. Whoever made them was not as heavy as one of us! On top of that gaffe, Maevie, driving the car down here was flat stupid!
            “The net result will be that the news and everyone will believe it’s been proven that all tracks are as fake at those. It’s going to be alright, Maeve. Don’t you worry now,” said Ralph with a big happy smile.
            "I’ll talk to Rick when he gets here,” said Ralph.
            Maeve had to see the wisdom of that ruling and be content with it. So, she was.

💚

What's Labor Day To A Cat?

 

            “Today is Later Day!” said Suzy. “It’s a holiday!”
            “I think you’re mixed up,” said Willie.
            “No, she said it was Later Day. I distinctly heard her!” insisted Suzy. “It’s a special day for the end of summer!”
            “That’s not what I heard,” said Willie. “You’re not making sense. What does that have to do with “later?”
            “Easy. Summer will come back later. Next year!” crowed Suzy.
            “No, Suzy. No. It’s Labor Day. Sure it marks the end of summer, but it’s not really about summer, ending or coming back,” said Willie, rather pompously.
            “But, she said! On Later Day you put away your summer clothes and shoes, stop wearing white, and get ready for fall!” said Suzy. “I don’t understand that other thing you’re talking about. What’s labor?”
            “Work,” said Willie.
            “Oh,” said Suzy.
            “Why celebrate work? Cats don’t work,” said Suzy.
            “See, that’s the thing, Suzy. People do work. They work like crazy! It’s how they get money to buy stuff for cats!” he said, triumphantly.
            “Oh, Willie! That’s a beautiful thing! It’s perfect,” purred Suzy.
            “It’s like a day to say thanks to everybody who works and does everything that needs to get done. I don’t think that includes politicians,” said Willie.
            “At this point, we cats would like to proffer our deepest thanks and purrts to all the people working so hard to make things nice for cats! Think of it all, Suzy! It’s mind boggling! And all for the love of cats. And some other stuff..
            “Working people do it all!” said Willie.
            “I still like the sound of Later Day, Willie..” said Suzy. “Later is a good time to do things….”

😹😺

A Little Conversation

 

Photo by R. A. Bird

            It was one of those mid-winter days when the sun shines almost painfully brightly on banks of snow. It might make a person feel like some remote planet, hot on one side and icy cold on the other.
            As you can imagine, Twigg had a lot on his mind. He had seen marvels in his relatively short life, though to him they were only business as usual within the confines of the Great Forest, as ruled by Ralph.
            The business with Rose, whom he had named and blessed in old form Saslingua, had left him wandering and wondering. He’d had no idea that naming her and singing to the fishy girl would change her as it had.
            Ramona could see that he was working on something, but she didn’t try to do it for him. Ralph let Twigg wander around thinking too.
            Berry and Bob just looked at each other when Twigg walked right past them. If cats shrugged, they would  have shrugged and raised their eyebrows. They missed their boy. He was there, of course, but distracted.
            Suddenly, Twigg stopped pacing and looked around at where he found himself. He wasn’t aware of how he had gotten there, but there he was, a little past Ralph’s big cedar log. No one seemed to be around at first. Then he saw Cherry!
She had fallen asleep in a brilliant shaft of sunlight shining down through the firs. Not even birds could nap in midair, but Cherry could!
            Blue was also asleep, but in the same beam of sunlight where it struck the snowy forest floor, creating a nice spot for a wolf to nap in
            “Cherry!” whispered Twigg. “Your sun spot is moving away. Better wake up!”
            She heard him and looked down at him. She looked startled.
            “I didn’t really mean to go to sleep up here. I was trying to show Blue how to come up with me, but she didn’t learn how and I got so sleepy!” said Cherry. “I thought maybe I could just pull her up with me and hold her up here and she could stay.”
            Twigg laughed. He was picturing Blue sailing serenely through the air, but he couldn’t quite get it to work for him. In fact, he giggled for the first time in many days.
            “I don’t think Blue will ever be able to float like you do!”
            “Twigg,” said Cherry, “I was afraid when you left that morning.”
            “I thought you probably were,” he said. “But I didn’t know what else to say to you.”
            “I think you picked the right thing to say. It was simple and plain. Whenever I would start to think about being afraid I would remember that you said not be afraid. So, I decided to trust you,” said Cherry in a rather long speech for Cherry.                 

            “Then I would sort of forget about being afraid.”
            “I didn’t know where I was going either. But I was curious, and I thought it might be important to go and find out,” said Twigg.
            “Was it important?” she asked.
            “In a way. But it’s hard to explain,” said Twigg. “It was about Rose.”
            Cherry slowly drifted down to ground level, and Blue woke up, sensing her presence.
            “I know,” said Cherry, and she smiled a wise, nosy little sister’s smile.
            Also, smiling, Maeve watched them silently from a branch high over their heads . She was just watching over them because she loved them. Then, when Twigg and Cherry and Blue walked down the path to the fireplace, Maeve herself floated along behind them like a sort of corvid angel.

❄

Saturday Greetings From Ralph & Open Thread, 8/30/2025

 

First of all, Ralph asked me to say that he thinks of you all, and he wishes you a whooopin’ good Saturday. He suggests that we all get out there barefoot and feel the zaps and tingles between our toes.

Next, he is willing to chat with Chuck, but only in person, in neutral territory. Perhaps at Jonathan and Sara Brown’s place on the res. Maybe with reliable witnesses, say Jeremiah and Miguel both.

(He would love to hear from you by the way!)

Also, he wants to let it be known that he is not, nor has he ever been, a bear. Not really. He has on a couple of occasions, possibly in a pinch of some kind, shifted to bear-form temporarily.

Nothing looks more ubiquitous to a certain mentality than a “bear” in the woods. 

He would like to point out that no bear approaches his size. That should be enough. But perhaps the mind fixed on bears needs more? Hard to say. He reminds us that no bear on this planet can pick up, grip and pitch a rock, an apple, a stick, a bottle.

He said not to go on and on about it, but he’s not a bear. Really.

He invites you to come to the forest, take a seat, and just see what happens.

Signed, Affectionately,

RALPH!XOXO🌲🍁🍂